Day 14 of lockdown surviving business & kids!

We're on day 14 of lock down here in Spain with 2 yr old and 4yr old boys. I've been asked by friends for some tips on what we've been doing which works (or doesn't!). I've written some points below. They aren’t earth shattering and are pretty obvious, but they might help anyway.

Bit more context on us, we both have businesses, my husbands got wiped out pretty quick (running airbnbs) mine is still going. Either way though, neither of us can be with the kids 24/7 as it's just not good for our mental health. Therefore, we split the week between Mummy School and Daddy School. Daddy does 3 days and I do 2 days and run the business the rest of the time. If there are 2 parents in the house, I don’t care what your excuse is YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE LOAD. 

1) On day 1 of lock down I took the kids for the day and my husband took every single child type thing (toys, art, pencils, bubbles etc.) into a room and organised, categorised, labelled.... it felt like an OCD thing to do at the time, but I am SO GLAD he did it. In a time when we feel very helpless this give us both some small sense of control. It means a day with the kids is a little bit less haphazard because we actually know where everything is and we have brought out toys that they never used to play with but do now with us.

2) We all get up and have breakfast and get dressed as if we are going out, even though we’re not. We do this for our mental health, so the kids feel like it’s the beginning of a new day and so we can feel a little bit normal

3) Each day we have a schedule – this structure is as much for us as for the kids. Our little one is highly energetic (otherwise known as a nutter), he also has about a 15min attention span so if you don’t know what you’re doing it quickly turns into lord of the flies!

4) When I say ‘structure’ let’s say it’s loose and fluid but it’s a piece of paper we can refer to rather than having to constantly pull magical ideas out of our heads! We basically have about 6 things we know we will do in the day a mixture between physical activity, arts and crafts, going on the terrace to blow bubbles or play with balls (thankfully we have a wee bit of out outside space!), reading etc. When our little one is napping the older one does letters, numbers, reading and writing. 

5) We never had ‘House Rules’ but now we do and we start every day reading them. We then sit down and do ‘circle time’ (Montessori thing) and tell them what we will do that day so they have some idea of what to expect

6) We also have taken this opportunity to get them helping with preparing dinner, they now are cutting vegetables for making salads, guacamole, making pancakes! By the time we are done they’ll be cooking dinner for us!

7) They’re also doing chores (hooray) – not much, but it’s start, they’ve been vacuuming, dusting, drying dishes and so on. We are using a reward chart which they collect stars on every day. We’ve had it for years an never used it. ALL OF THOSE THINGS, you’ve had and never used suddenly are on overdrive!

8 ) It’s worthwhile saying, we have zero expectations or desire to become teachers. Our kids aren’t old enough really to be missing any formal education, but even if yours are, please don’t stress about it. Your kids are still learning from you in this situation. Have relevant conversations with them about the day to day and now is the time to teach them everyday household duties (folding clothes, making beds, tidying up, cleaning…). But really, we are all under enough pressure to not load more on top of ourselves. The goal should be health and happiness in lock down (and even that’s stretching) not grade A students. To be honest, our main goal is for our kids not to become feral ? anything above that is a win!

9) Do they watch TV? Of course, they bloody do! But we’re trying to limit it mainly because we know we’re in this for the long haul. They watch TV at the begining of the day while we are getting organised, for a bit during lunch time and at the end of the day. They also watch TV for a bit if we just need a mental health break. 

10) If it’s been Daddy school in the day time then I give the kids dinner and put them down to bed (and vice a versa)– that’s when who ever has been on duty gets a break and can catch up on everything else. 

11) The only time the kids have us both at the same time is at breakfast time and an hour in the evening and on Saturday. Sunday is family day. I don’t know why but it’s just easier and the kids listen more when it’s just one adult in charge.

12) We can look as this lockdown thing as a negative situation or a blessing in disguise. Before the lockdown, most people were running around doing this and that, always running out of time. Now most of us have more time. More time to spend with our kids, more time to do the lists of things that needed to be done but have not before, and most importantly family time. Our kids have not left the house in 10 days and they have not even asked why they have not gone outside. Our kids are loving this lockdown…. They get to spend a lot of time with mommy and daddy and each other. Yes there are arguments and some meltdowns but for the most part they are loving it. We as parents in the beginning were thinking “how are we going to survive this”, but as each day passes it is getting easier and more enjoyable.

13) Last piece of advice… TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME! You will have good days and bad but we are all in this together and we will get through this. Hopefully your family will become closer and you will look back at this time with happy memories in lockdown.