Day 12. Don't speak ill of the dead

Martha is 83, a widow to Frank, who died 3 years ago.

His obituary read:

Frank 87, died peacefully surrounded by his family. A respected member of our community and a loving husband to Martha, father to Sarah & Susan. He leaves 5 grandchildren, Rex, Charlie, Flo, Grace & Ben.

The day Frank died, Martha breathed a sigh of relief... she could feel the tension release in every muscle in her body.

Finally she could rest, breathe, think, feel.

Her marriage to Frank aged 19, him 26 had been decades of control & obedience.

61 years felt like a prison sentence, but she knew no different.

Nearly every day of her adult life, she had served Frank & tended to HIS needs.

Mealtimes, bed times, hobbies, holidays, sex, the family car, friendships, the wallpaper in the dining room, the make & model of the car, the kettle, vacuum cleaner. All Frank’s decisions, all executed by Martha.? Unspoken rules, rituals & routines, which could be changed whenever Frank desired.?

Martha expertly ensured every possible request was fulfilled to Frank’s exacting standards. For she knew if she didn't, there would be CONSEQUENCES.

Every minute of her waking hours, Martha’s sole focus was to diffuse Frank's anger and protect the girls, Sarah & Susan.?They grew up in a house of chronic fear, an atmosphere of control but mostly were protected by Martha from the worst moments.

At the funeral, their long & ‘happy’ marriage was celebrated as a rare success, in todays ‘modern world’. Nobody dared mention the torture they’d endured, an unspoken rule to stay silent.? Martha stood in the church, leaning on her frame, riddled with pain from arthritis, caused by beatings, bit her tongue feeling a burning rage inside her, ready to spill out & erupt. Hearing Frank’s life story, his achievements & devotion to HIS family, made bile rise up inside her chest. She reluctantly weeps, silently & remembered the words of her mother.

Shhh… ‘Don’t speak ill of the dead’. Martha’s life never felt validated. Never seen. Never heard.?

But for Martha she has longed for this time, her strength relentless whilst she waited, longed for him to die.

The past three years as a widow, have been her most joyful, predictable & peaceful. ?

Written by Carrie

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