The Dating Game – How to know when a potential prospect is not a good fit

Have you ever dated someone who looked “great on paper” and checked all the boxes, only to learn after a few dates that they were not at all who you thought they would be? Attracting the right client is like attracting the right romantic partner. Designers create relationships with clients that are very personal and require a great deal of interaction. While we all know the importance of filling our pipeline, we must be smart. We have to be ready to say no to someone who is not a good fit.??

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A more seasoned designer will see the “tells” at the initial consultation, but even someone with experience can be duped. It has happened to me, and I am sure many others reading this article. The art of the dance, or the “dating game” tactics, must come into play when interviewing a potential client. Even if the budget is robust and you like the person, the scope of the project may not be a good fit, the timeline may be unreasonable, or the couple may not be on the same page. You have to be ready to say “No.”

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We can all be blind sighted by a crafty emotive personality. I want to share a story with you.?My project manager and I met with a prospect, and we absolutely loved her. She was so sweet, bubbly, excited to work with us.?We laid out the terms of engagement and she was ready to sign before I even sent the Letter of Engagement. Once sent, she signed and wired a sizable initial design fee. I then sent our client onboarding materials. She was starting a new job and suddenly could not meet during the day. After thirty years in practice, I no longer have the energy or desire to meet with clients in the evening. I offered that we would “come to her” at work or for meetings in NYC at the design buildings. She was fine with this, and the project commenced.?Needless to say, this turned out to be one of the most unsatisfying projects I have done. The husband was a doll, but she was passive aggressive, bipolar, and never happy. I learned a huge lesson – send onboarding materials with the Letter of Engagement before accepting any form of payment from a client. Even the loveliest of people can have negative personality traits, or not be a good fit for how you operate your business.

I also had a very high net worth client who was referred to me by another designer. The wife was wonderful, but completely overpowered by a husband with a Napoleon complex, who favored bullying in lieu of resolving issues responsibly and in a mature manner. He was awful and could have damaged a few of my favorite vendor relationships. I completed my scope of work (creating four new bathrooms and a spiral staircase design). He then asked me to work on the furniture layouts and procurement and the opportunity to work on a pre-war 4-bedroom apartment across from the Met on Fifth Avenue. I respectfully declined. I could not put myself, my team, or my vendors through another round of dealing with this pompous individual. Life is too short, and design and business should be both rewarding AND fun. This was not checking either box for me. I recommended a colleague with full disclosure on the situation. She took the project, and it was also a disaster for her. He never paid his bills.?

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My best advice it to trust your instincts and listen to your gut. Do not take a project because it looks great on paper. Take only the projects that truly make your heart sing. You can let a prospective client know that your pipeline is full, and you cannot meet their deadlines. Conversely, you might tell them that the budget does not align with your firm’s standard scope of work. There are so many ways in which you can gracefully decline a “not so perfect” project.?

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The most important takeaway is the empowering feeling you get when you just say NO! You do it from an authentic and heartfelt place. You take care to make the prospect feel worthy and that you are honored that they love your work but at the end of the day, you only have so many hours to service the right clients. Seek them out, manifest them and make their hearts sing. They will in turn sing your praises to other ideal clients!