Dateline July 1, 2018 -- Santa Fe, New Mexico (USA!)

Dateline July 1, 2018 -- Santa Fe, New Mexico (USA!)

In retaliation for Canadian tariffs imposed on American tomato paste, a spokesperson for American food policy councils announced the imposition of tariffs on any Canadian sourced food policy council assistance. "We simply can't allow such displays of disrespect for a much-revered U.S. product to go unanswered," said Mark Winne, the alleged spokesperson for the alleged group (repeated attempts by our reporter to find sources to vouch for Mr. Winne's credentials were unsuccessful). "Entities such as the Wayne Roberts Group, LLC, have been assisting U.S. food policy councils but charging fees that have placed U.S. providers at a severe disadvantage threatening the food security if not the national security of this great nation," said Mr. Winne. 


In what is expected to be a major escalation in a looming trade war between the U.S. and Canada, consumers from Halifax to Vancouver may soon suffer if Canadian paste producers are unable to pay for American-made cans to put their paste in. Dr. Roberts of the Wayne Roberts Group, LLC, said that challenges such as these will only test the mettle of Canadians. "We are in the process of training thousands of Canadian school children to make clay bowls to serve as tomato paste receptacles," which he acknowledged evoked stark images of small people clutching bowls as they waited in long lines at state operated paste dispensaries. 


"A tooth for tooth and an eye for an eye," remarked Mr. Winne. "If they want to slash us with their hockey sticks, we'll club them with our baseball bats." The tariff on Canadian FPC services is expected to start at 20% of their value, "but could easily quadruple until they feel the pain," bellowed Mr. Winne. He acknowledged, however, that since the value of such services hovered near zero, a considerable amount of time may elapse before either country feels the economic impact.




Mark Winne 

Senior Advisor, Center for a Livable Future

15 Cerrado Loop


Santa Fe, New Mexico 87508

(860) 558-8226 

email: [email protected] 

www.markwinne.com 

Author of Closing the Food Gap and Stand Together or Starve Alone

Mark Winne

Senior Advisor, Johns Hopkins University Center for a Livable Future; Author of 4 books; Principal of Mark Winne Assoc.

6 年

If you want to burn the WH again, you have my blessing. Just make sure its current occupant is in residence that day.

Wayne Roberts

consultant & speaker on food & cities

6 年

a whiner like Winne is no substitute for a winner. It's Canada Day. and I'm celebrating by acting like a Yank, stuffing my face with fatty food and beer, but come tomorrow, there will be a response. Remember what happened to the White House in 1812, when Canucks burned it? That was a picnic compared with what Winne will get!!!

Mark Winne

Senior Advisor, Johns Hopkins University Center for a Livable Future; Author of 4 books; Principal of Mark Winne Assoc.

6 年

Wayne Roberts?#foodpolicy

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