Darth Vader vs Obi Wan - An Experiment in Leadership Mind Mastery

Perhaps the simplest way to think of human behaviour is that, at any moment, we have a choice. A choice to be Darth Vader or Obi-Wan Kanobi. Stay with me here.

When external events trigger us we cab choose to respond from our dark side, our shadow self (fear, distrust, control, resentment, self, manipulation, dishonesty etc) OR from our light side, our higher self (bravery, integrity, service, kindness, commitment, faith etc).

If the Star Wars references and “airy-fairy” talk of ‘coming from the light’ haven’t turned you off yet—keep reading.

“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.” – Yoda

Think of yourself on your very best day at work. What are you like? What five adjectives would others use to describe you as a leader? Are you passionate and committed? Or, are you courageous, thoughtful or considerate? Write these adjectives down.

Now think about what you’re like on your worst day. What five adjectives would others use to describe that version of you as a leader? Are you abrasive or judgemental? Can you be difficult, selfish or unkind? Write these adjectives down too.

What’s next, Obi-Wan?

For each of those lists, reflect for a moment on the impact of those two styles of leadership—the light/higher and the dark/shadow— on your team, your clients, your stakeholders, your business and your sense of well-being. 

What’s it like being led by you on a bad day? And what’s it like working with you on a good day?

If there was a simple hack that allowed you to spend just 10% more of your time in your ‘good day’ leadership style, imagine the impact it would have. What would spending 10% more time in ‘light mode’ leadership do for your business, your stakeholders and, perhaps importantly, your bottom line? THIS is the prize we’re playing for here.

The challenge, of course, is that it’s easy to say, “Today I’m going to be brave and considerate, not controlling and resentful,” but it’s really, really difficult to actually hold yourself to that when you’re triggered.

Over the years, your dark side behaviours have served you well. Underpinned by strong, deep memories, you learned these behaviours in your formative years and they run along incredibly well-worn neural super-pathways in your subconscious brain. They’re EASY, they’re familiar and they’re bizarrely comfortable. You’re not even aware of a lot of them.

Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies.

When my son was about 5, he had a t-shirt with the slogan “Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies”. That phrase stuck with me over the years. It makes me giggle, but it’s also pretty profound. 

Just like cookies, I know my shadow behaviours aren’t good for me but they give me an instant, feel-better, psychological ‘sugar hit’. Righteous indignation, acting superior, blaming others, being controlling… each and everyone gives me a short-term psychological sugar rush. Bravery, integrity, honesty, consideration and service to others, meanwhile... well, sometimes disciplining myself to respond like this when I’m triggered, can feel like the psychological equivalent of a kale and spinach smoothie.

When someone cuts you up on a highway, badmouths you to a colleague, shows up late to a meeting, rolls their eyes in a presentation, lets you down… it’s easier to respond with blame, judgement and indignation than to choose to respond with honesty, bravery and kindness. The more you do, however, the healthier and stronger you become... just like kale smoothies (apparently)!

Unlike the last two leadership experiments, this is more of a slow burn project than a hack, but the effects are profound. Give it a go and see what you discover - your team, your clients, your stakeholders and your bottom-line will thank you.

“Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.” – Yoda

This week’s leadership experiment

1) Take the list of ‘dark-side’ adjectives you made above and for each ‘dark-side’ adjective, identify a constructive opposite or healthy alternative (Google can help here!). 

3) On a Post-It or small sheet of paper, write a dark vs light ‘inventory’ list, for example:

4) Now, stick your inventory list where you’ll see it every morning (in the kitchen by the kettle, next to your toothbrush or smack in the middle of your computer screen work well).

5) For a week, take inventory every morning. Think about your actions (and reactions) from the previous day and ask yourself if you were mostly on the dark side or the light. Were most of your actions based on the left or right column of your list?

6) If you’ve had a day where you’ve been really on the dark side, set an intention for the coming day to purposefully come from the light. 

7) Eat, sleep, inventory, repeat.