DARN, WE MISSED OUR TARGET!

The Mighty Warship Portland participated in many different war games. Some of these war games simulated NBC Warfare (Nuclear, Biological, Chemical). Whenever the fleet was conducting these exercises, the Soviet Navy always seemed to have a fishing boat nearby, a fishing boat with more antennas than an ant hill. They liked to watch our drills and see how we did things.

As an electrician, my General Quarters duty station was below decks, away from the sunshine and the fresh air. This was probably a good thing, because if someone was slinging NBC agents around, I really wasn’t keen on catching a snootful of them. As I was below decks, I didn’t know what was going out outside and had to rely on the reports from the bridge. One particular drill went something like this:

“All hands, we have a Russian fishing boat maneuvering within the task force. Stand by for evasive maneuvers!”

A few minutes later, “All hands, prepare for chemical attack!” We weren’t really under chemical attack. What was really going on was one of our planes was preparing to drop a simulated chemical agent against the task force. It smelled like spearmint. If you smelled spearmint, you failed the war game because you were dead. I held my breath. I wasn’t sure how long I had to hold it, but I knew how long I could hold it, and it wasn’t long enough for an actual attack.

A few minutes later, we all heard, “All hands, dismissed from drills. Gosh darn it, it appears our plane accidentally dropped the simulated chemical agent on the Russian fishing boat. They’re leaving the area now.”