The dark side of the coaching industry - and how to avoid it

Let’s talk about the dark side of the coaching industry.

I love coaching.? I love being a coach, I love making a positive impact through my coaching, and I love the transformation I’ve received myself as a coachee.

As much as it pains me to say it, however, there’s a darker side to the industry, and it runs the risk of damaging the reputation of coaching as a profession.? More alarmingly, it runs the risk of being harmful to individuals.

I feel that this is one of those topics that, if you know, you know.

If you’re wondering what on earth I’m talking about, I hope that means you haven’t experienced any unprofessional or unethical practices.? I encourage you to read this anyway, to ensure you don’t get caught.

If you can predict what I’m about to write, then I’m really sorry for any disappointing or harmful experiences you’ve had from coaching. We’re not all like that, and I hope you can find a great coach to support you in future.

And that’s the good news: there are lots of coaches available, so with a bit of discernment you’ll be able to find the right person to work with.? My tips for choosing a coach are included at the end of this article, to help you make the right decision for you.

So what is this dark side I'm referring to?

Well, coaching is an unregulated industry. There’s no overarching governing body, no regulations, and nothing to stop anyone saying they’re a coach. There’s no code of conduct, no ethical standard, not much recourse if you have a bad experience from coaching.

All of this means that in some cases, unprofessional and unethical practices can be - and are - quite common.

This doesn’t seem to be so prevalent in the context of executive/leadership and organisational coaching, but it’s rife in life coaching and even some business coaching. I see it frequently on social media and I’ve experienced it first hand.

Here are some of the things I’m referring to:

• Extraordinarily pushy sales tactics, where the coach will promise you the world if you sign up for their programme. You might feel you’re being suckered into a cult, or even bullied. (I was once told by a business coach to never end a sales call unless the person had whipped out their card and paid there and then - and if necessary, to encourage the prospective client to take on new credit card debt in order to pay.? Yuck. I do not do this).
• Manipulative sales approaches.? For example, I heard a coach on more than one occasion tell people they were “self-abandoning” if they didn’t sign up for more coaching or enrol in a new and highly expensive programme.
• Coaches who haven’t undertaken any form of coach training, and who don’t understand their own scope of practice and their duty of care to their clients. Which leads to the next one…
• …coaches who use techniques that really need to be carried out by therapists, counsellors or other highly-trained experts (eg digging in to past trauma, inner child work).? Yes, some coaches may have appropriate skills and training for this, but I’ve seen many who dive in with very little expertise - and no idea how harmful this could be, especially in group settings.
• Self-proclaimed 'experts' who have limited success or experience in the area they claim to be an expert (such as the person I knew who described themselves as ‘a million-dollar coach’, but who was actually struggling financially and on benefits. Or the many 'coaches' who send me cold DMs promising they can help me 'skyrocket' my coaching business, when their bio shows they've never been a coach or run a coaching business themselves).
• Toxic positivity and neo-spiritual half-truths disguised as helpful, motivating and even enlightened coaching and guidance. A classic example: creating a guilt and blame culture for their clients by telling them their current situation is all a result of their mindset and their vibes.
• Coaches who could benefit from being in coaching/therapy themselves and who project on to clients, or use their clients to work through their own issues.? (Yes, really).
• Coaches who care much more about selling coaching than being in service to others via their coaching. Like anyone else, coaches need to earn a living, but I’ve witnessed incredibly unethical practices and even bullying when money seemed to be the overarching focus.

So how do you avoid the dark side?

I hope that raising awareness of these issues will equip you to be alert to some of the more concerning coaching practices out there. To help further, here are my hot tips for finding a great coach who's right for you:

• Check them out online: get a feel for their experience, credentials, focus areas, testimonials and style.
• Have an initial, no-obligation call with them (most coaches will offer this). Be proactive and ask questions about what to expect from coaching with them. Give yourself permission to leave the call without feeling coerced into saying yes.
• Talk to 2 or 3 different people, so you can compare styles and approaches. (I always tell potential clients to call me again if they can't decide which coach to choose. Not because I want them to pick me, but because I don't want to leave them stuck in indecision. I'd rather help them choose the right coach for them -who might not be me - than see them stay overwhelmed or stuck and therefore picking nobody).
• It’s all about the chemistry.? You need to find someone you can connect with and trust, especially since part of their job is to stretch you out of your comfort zone.
• Tune in to the wisdom of your whole body to make your decision. What do your head, your heart and your gut say? How does the decision feel in your body? What are your spidey senses telling you? If something doesn’t feel right for you, check in on that.? If you’re being pulled towards a certain person, notice that.

Every industry has its cowboys, its scammers and its snake-oil pushers and coaching is no exception.? The GREAT news is, there are lots of coaches out there so you’ll be able to find someone who’s just right for you.? Many of us - I believe it’s most of us - are skilled, professional and ethical and we're truly passionate about helping you.

Thanks for reading this article. Here on LinkedIn I write regularly about coaching, leadership, positive psychology and embodiment.

As a coach, consultant and facilitator I work with leaders and teams to create solutions to enhance leadership capability and wellbeing, create engaging team cultures, and implement sustainable change.?

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