The Dark Side of Celebrating Small Wins

We live in a culture that encourages gratitude. Now more than ever, we are being taught to appreciate the blessings in our lives and be grateful for them. If you spend a maximum of 30 minutes on social media every day, you would find a least 2 or 3 posts that focus on being grateful for something. This is not a bad thing. In fact, this is actually great because, in our daily hustle and bustle, we can let these things pass us by and take them for granted. In doing so, we are on a gentle but slippery slope to placing priority on the wrong things. Most of all, ingratitude can blind us to seeing the importance of one thing: Small wins.

Over the decade the message of celebrating your small wins has been preached across different media. You would find it on your average motivational speakers’ audio, video, or post. Even in books, we are encouraged to celebrate our small wins, and with each passing year, the number of books, videos, or other communication media telling us to do so is increasing, and for good reason. Celebrating small wins is a great way to stay motivated, reduce stress, and feel more positive and grateful. It can also help you make progress toward your larger goals over time.

There’s a dark side to this though and it’s a dark side I’ve been to recently. So usually I start out the day with a list of things to do, which usually consist of 5 - 6 small tasks that make up one or two goals. However, when I have done 2 - 3 activities on the list, I start feeling satsified with what I have done and most of the time end up not doing as much as I had planned. After discussing this with people that also plan their day and celebrate small wins, I discovered a common thread: They also faced the same issue. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the dark side of celebrating your small wins: Complacency.

Celebrating your small wins can impose on you the sense of "good enough" that may prevent you from striving for greater achievements. This is Complacency. It is a false sense of achievement that causes one to focus on short-term accomplishments rather than the bigger picture or long-term goals. It is dangerous because you tell yourself “I have done enough for today, I will do the rest tomorrow” when in reality you have done nothing or done less. This is a bit similar to what James Clear referred to in his book Atomic Habits as “being in motion, rather than taking action”. A state where you are strategizing and planning and you end up using the whole day doing instead of taking action. You could strategize for the whole week, celebrate it as a small win and still get nothing done.

So how do we avoid this trap?

First, you have to understand this: A SMALL win shouldn’t take a BIG chunk of your time celebrating. Don’t get me wrong. Celebrate it. Take it in, but do it and move on. You finished a chapter of a book: That's great. You learned something new today: Awesome! You started that application: Superb. Appreciate yourself and move on.

Next, create a reward system that doesn’t encourage complacency. For example, you could attend a networking event, or listen to a podcast, or watch an educational movie related to your field. You also change your rewards from external to intrinsic. Instead of relying on rewards like treats or gifts, learn to be satisfied with the feeling of accomplishment and pride that comes with completing small tasks. Celebrate small wins by reflecting on how far you've come and the progress you've made toward your goals.

Another way of avoiding the complacency trap is to solicit feedback from others, such as a mentor or a trusted colleague. This will help you to gain a fresh perspective on your progress and areas where you can improve. It also helps you stay accountable and keeps you focused on making progress. I do this with a friend who keeps me grounded and acts as an accountability partner of sorts, making sure I am progressing as scheduled. He also calls me back if I am moving too fast to make sure I am actually gaining something and not just ticking a box on my planner.

Finally, in chasing your small wins, develop the mind of a child. Always have a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn and grow. Like a child, ask questions. Seek out new experiences that might challenge you and help you develop new knowledge about yourself. You’ve read a chapter, so what’s the harm in trying to see if you can read one more? I hope this helps you as you start your day or end it.

Salud.