Unveiling Authentic Needs: Embracing Vulnerability in a Disconnected World.

Be honest, when was the last time you asked for what you really wanted or needed? And I’m not just talking about asking for sugar with your tea or asking someone to turn the heating up. When was the last time you told someone you needed space? Wanted time to think things through? Needed someone to listen to you?

On the surface, we ask for what we want all the time, but deep down we hide what we really want and need from ourselves and others for so many different reasons. We don’t want to burden other people, we feel like people will think we’re not good enough, or perhaps we don’t think we deserve the help we need in the first place. The list goes on.?

I’ve worked with hundreds of go-getters, high-achievers, and dream-chasers, and I see the high expectations that they place on themselves. The constant internal chatter that bounces between feeling like they are amazing and that they’ve got this and feeling like they’re a complete fraud. Imposter syndrome kicks in and they worry that they’ll never reach their high standards and might get outed for not being enough.?

I know a thing or two about those feelings myself, and I know how exhausting and debilitating it can be!

Let’s face it. On paper, we live in the best time in history. Everything we could ever want is at our fingertips, we have access to a limitless source of information at all times, and we’re more digitally connected than ever before. The reality, however, is an overwhelming disconnect.?

So many of us are unfulfilled and under constant pressure (internally and externally) to be better. We’re comparing ourselves to where we think we ‘should’ be in life, or comparing ourselves with peers that seem to be further ahead. All this judgement, guilt, and lack of compassion for ourselves drags us down.?

When we don’t ask for what we want and need, those wants and needs don’t just disappear. They’re still there in your subconscious, eating away at you.

It’s easy for a coach to say “just don’t compare yourself to others” (and so many do!), but observing other people is how we make sense of how we fit into the world. So, what should we do?

I’ve put in the groundwork on my own journey of self-discovery and I’ve moved from mentally torturing myself to bringing myself inner peace. My own experiences help me bring clarity to my clients. There are many steps on the journey to fulfilment, but it all starts with a journal.

Through a series of carefully curated journal prompts, I start by encouraging my clients to switch their focus from what they haven’t done and what isn’t going well to what they have done and what’s working. My journal prompts are grounded in the key pillars I talk about with my clients in their one-on-one calls: clarity, calmness, confidence, and feeling in control of your life. With these pillars in place, you know what you want and need, and you feel empowered to ask for it.?

Here are three of the questions I find the most powerful -

1. How do I feel about today?

2. What do I need to let go of today?

3. What are 3 things that I’m grateful for today?

If you’ve got a spare 5 minutes while the ad breaks are on, when the kettle’s boiling, or when you just need a break from your work, I’d encourage you to have a think about how you’d answer these questions and write down your answers.

See how you get on, and if you’d like the full PDF version then click here for your free download.?

The full version can seem like a lot of questions to start with. My advice would be to take your time. It’s better to do one question per day and really consider your answer, rather than do all the questions at once and not put much thought into your responses.?

If you’d like to delve deeper and discuss how I might be able to help you live the life you want to live, rather than the life you feel you ‘should’ be living, then send me a message - I’d love to connect with you.