The Dark Side of Ambition

Ambition remains a dirty word - or so it seems when it's associated with women.

It's not that women don't have it, but when we're referred to as "ambitious," there's often a negative connotation. As if being ambitious means we can't also be sincere, caring, and authentic.

I love pairing the words AMBITIOUS and WOMAN because I know that ambition is powerful in the hands of great women and leaders.

Actually, I pride myself on a) broadcasting my ambitions, b) advocating for women to own and speak of their ambitions publicly, and c) only choosing to work with highly ambitious women.

But as much as I love and encourage ambition, it has its dark sides.

She's amazing but doesn't see it:

I recently spoke with a BioTech leader. She is a serial entrepreneur who has created, launched, and sold multiple businesses and operated in other people's businesses at the C-suite level.

During our conversation, she shared her background and the work she'd done to reach her ambitions. She spoke about how simultaneously hard it was to step away from her career to focus on raising her children, and how rewarding it was to take that time off. She talked about the company she "accidentally" founded once her sons were old enough to be autonomous. She shared successful start-up story after successful start-up story. She casually discussed her ascendency to the C-suite. I was floored. This woman is a powerhouse with a seriously impressive track record of courage, gutsiness, impact, and success.

When she finished, I simply said: "That's incredible, you're inspiring."

But that is not how she saw herself.

The Dark Side of Ambition:

Ambition is a quality that, when properly balanced, leads to massive growth, big transformations, and noteworthy impact. But ambition has its dark sides.

Constantly pushing for more and expecting more (of yourself, of life, of success) can lead you to discount or minimize your achievements. That was certainly the case for the leader I spoke with yesterday.

Another dark side of ambition is a nagging drive to achieve ever higher levels of success, which manifests as always wanting more, leading to feeling pressured to work, achieve more, and rise without respite.

A Hall of Mirrors:

I recently attended a TEDx talk featuring Dr. Sheila Gujarthi. Dr. Gujrathi's presentation called for ambitious women to surround themselves with mirrors. She was referring to the importance of having real-world examples of what is possible; representation facilitates action!

Dr. Gujrathi has taken steps to create her own hall of mirrors: a community of C-level leaders — each powerful, ambitious, and driven — who share similar hopes, challenges, and experiences.

Her message resonated deeply with me because that's exactly what we've discovered at Noteworthy. Alone, ambitious women can be successful. With support, they can be exceptional. With the right community, they can be all those things & still be themselves. This is why Noteworthy Women never operate alone. It's why my individual clients come together for peer advisory groups twice a month. It's also why I was driven to launch our Elite Executive coaching program this Fall.

A Different Kind of Mirror

When it comes to the dark side of ambition,?I advocate for a different kind of mirror: a full-length one that reflects your whole self - vision, ambition, values, and actions.

This is exactly the kind of mirror I provide in my work with my clients. Through coaching, mentorship, advice, and insight-driven questions, my role is to hold a mirror to these leaders, help them see what they cannot, and keep their perspective of themselves clear and true.

Sometimes, that means identifying patterns and dynamics that aren't working for them.?It often involves saying things that no one else sees or says, like identifying the dark side of skills and habits that otherwise look like gifts.

Ambitious women need two styles of mirrors: ones that reflect what's possible and ones that reflect the way they operate in the world.?Having both will allow them to achieve their ambitions while staying true to their vision of success and their values.

Elite Executive?is Noteworthy's newest program. It is a unique group coaching experience designed to combine high-impact coaching with mastermind-like support from a community of exceptional and proven women in leadership.

Click THIS LINK to learn more and schedule an interview to see if you're right for our community!

Are You Highly Ambitious?

Are you highly ambitious? If so, do you experience either of these darker sides of ambition?

Often, traits that are considered gifts or assets come with dark sides. If ambition isn't your thing, consider this question with another gift.

Last week, for example, I went through this same process with a client who is a self-described hyper-planner. We discussed how extreme preparedness has earned her the reputation of being reliable, excellence-driven, and trustworthy while helping her overcome her shyness to speak up as a child. It has also reinforced feelings of inadequacy. It has also led to micromanaging, which challenges her team's autonomy and puts more work on her plate. Ultimately, it's a response to fear, which is not something she wants to direct her life.

Understanding both the positive and the darker side of your gifts allows you to balance them so that they support you in the long term.

Have you ever done this kind of work? Personally, I love to help Noteworthy women think deeply about themselves — their actions, motivations, and needs. This work — more than the tools I share, the systems I've created, or the tutorials they access in our resource library — is the greatest catalyst for the changes and impact they're driving for.

I'd love to hear from you. Do you have a gift that also has a dark side? Share them in the comments!

Elite Executive is Noteworthy's newest program. A one-of-a-kind group coaching experience, it's designed to combine high-impact coaching with mastermind-like support from a community of exceptional and proven women in leadership.

Click THIS LINK to learn more and schedule an interview to see if you're right for our community!

Worldwide, smart, ambitious executive women work three times as hard for a fraction of the influence they deserve. Invisible, indispensable, and impotent, success becomes a gilded cage rather than the key to more freedom, fulfillment, and impact.

Excellence-driven, they show up fully for everyone - all the time - and discover that high-level success can come at too high a cost if you don't have the right systems or support.

I've made it my mission to help women in senior leadership show up with authority, own their value, leverage their influence, and make a meaningful impact without sacrificing everything on the altar of success.

I lead this work through Noteworthy, an exclusive executive coaching and consulting firm that advances senior executive women in STEM and finance, and supports companies that seek to retain, elevate, and attract them.

This work has transformed the lives of hundreds of executive women in the US and Europe and changed workplaces for the better at scores of companies ranging in size from agile start-ups to Fortune 100.

We're launching Elite Executive, a year-long small-group coaching/mastermind experience for Executive Women who are driven to excel, feel compelled to make a difference, and believe that their mission & drive shouldn't come at the cost of their fulfillment and happiness.

Interested? Let's talk!

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