The Dark Night of The Soul Wake-Up Call #3: When Life Changes HARD And Suddenly

It was one of the most disorienting and distressing times of my life. Change came hard and fast with a 1, 2, 3 punch.

1. I woke up on a Tuesday to realize that I'd suddenly lost all interest in my business, the programs I was delivering, and the mastermind I'd created.
2. My beautiful new website, months in the making, had been hacked and replaced with a picture of a scantily clad goth woman, complete with eerie disconcerting music.
3. I was fired from my biggest client by email.

It was a heralding of something necessary and essential; an opening to an entirely new way of navigating the world, and in retrospect, one of the most important and pivotal moments of my life.

But first, it sucked. A LOT.

This was my personal experience with the heavyweight champion of Wake-Up Calls known as The Dark Night of The Soul.

What Is The Dark Night of The Soul?

The Dark Night of The Soul:

• When change is imminent because access to your old ways is suddenly and rather harshly revoked.
• It's often delivered through a 1, 2, 3 punch of circumstances that leaves you in a heap on the floor.
• It's a time that author Tanis Helliwell so eloquently wrote, when “we feel we are no one, doing nothing, going nowhere.”

If this sounds familiar, I feel you. The dark night is one of the great disorientating but ultimately healing and transformative times of our lives. It can culminate in many forms; lay-off, divorce, health crisis, or legal troubles to name a few.

When a friend shared her dark night experience, the sheer scope of it was notable. In her own words she:

1. Lost her marriage.
2. Lost a million.
3. Lost her face (how she describes her experience with Bell's Palsy, a form of paralysis that left her with an asymmetrical face for over two years.)

Another coach recently told me about the absolute show-stopper of a health wake-up call and the series of events that comprised her dark night.

She punctuated her story with a knowingness that these drastic circumstances were required to get her attention, saying with a soft voice, "It was the only way I would listen."

A Necessary Transition

Those who have been through this tunnel recognize that it is often a necessary transition time for something new to be born. It's Life asking us to let go of who we think we are to become who we came here to be (cue cocoon to butterfly analogy??).

The dark night of the soul is Life asking us to let go of who we think we are to become who we came here to be.

So, if you find yourself in the midst of this type of harsh realignment, as ridiculously uncomfortable, discombobulating, and often downright terrifying as it is, remember that:

A) it's a loud and clear message that the old way is not going to work anymore and

B) there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

A New Dawn

Today, I can look back affectionately at what I've dubbed my “Cloudy Afternoon of the Soul”; With coaching tools, conscious living, and a rocking support system, I was able to move through my transition quickly and with a moderate degree of grace.

And while the memory (ouch) of that time has faded (thank goodness), the gifts of allowing, letting go, and surrender to a gentler and more attentive way of moving through the world have stuck and radically changed my life.

Share Your Story & Carry A Light

If you have your own Dark Night of The Soul story, I'd love to hear it.

If you are in the middle of it, go gentle, and reach out for support or assurance if you need it. This is a right of passage and there are many who have walked the path before you.

And if your life is talking to you, nudging you to let go, to listen, to change, consider walking with that change little by little, and you may just get your own "Dark Night Lite" version.

Wishing you stars to guide you and an early sunrise.

Joelle

Stay Tuned (Part 3 of 6)

This is part three in a six-part series identifying the Calls and Wake-Up calls toward a Life That Fits You And Suits Your Soul. Check in next week as we explore Call #1: The Call To More Meaning. You can learn more about Wake-Up Calls 1 & 2 in the links below:

Wake-Up call #1 Escape Fantasies (Here)

Wake-Up call #2 Dead Inside (Here)

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Important Mental Health Notice:

The subject matter described here falls within the realm of professional coaching and personal development. I am not a therapist, and while I can provide guidance and support, if you find yourself in a situation where you are considering real harm to yourself or experiencing severe emotional distress, please seek immediate professional help. Your mental health and well-being are of utmost importance, and there are qualified mental health professionals who can provide the necessary support and care.