Daring you to get a (faked) tattoo or The Power of (Faked) Non-verbal Statements

“We often create limitations for people by what we see.”

Jack Pransky

Since last night I am a girl with a dragon tattoo. Each time I pick up my phone or coffee, my dragon peeks at me from the inside of my right forearm. He is an amicable dragon and without doubt must be related to sea horses. He looks exactly like them, only with slim, little horns on his head and elegant wings on his back.

My eleven-year-old son has the same tattoo and yes, it is a faked one which a youth worker placed on our skin during a pool party organised by the local council to kick off school holidays! I strongly dislike inking my skin, but you would be surprised how real it looks and even more about the reactions my dragon tattoo trigged.

Powerful non-verbal communications and behaviour

Reactions that for me as a journalist and communications expert who plays with words all the time and knows their power all too well, are a fascinating reminder of not only how big and influential non-verbal communication is, but even faked non-verbal statements and behaviour.

Let’s take my colleagues at a training I attended the very next day after getting the tattoo. I had met them for three Saturdays and built good rapport which each of them. I am blessed. I am able to connect with people from all walks of life relatively easily which makes my job all the more enjoyable.

Labeling due to non-verbal clues

During the coffee break, in the middle of a conversation I took off my jacket and unintendedly revealed my tattoo. My colleague who was talking –around 15 years senior to me – noticeably glanced over it. He continued talking, however without ever making eye contact with me again. This was in stark contrast to before. In fact, he gradually turned his back to me more and more, finally cutting me out of the circle and later referring to me as ‘the young folk with tattoos’. In a kind of nice, though patronising way. However, he had clearly labeled and put me in a particular drawer due to a faked tattoo.

Next example: After my training, I went shopping at Aldi and returned to my car with a big cardboard box full of groceries just to find a group of young men, all dressed in black with baseball caps on their heads, leaning against my car smoking. Heavily tattooed and pierced. I had parked in front of a tattoo studio.

Gaining access to new circle

Not feeling very confident, however having no choice, I asked them politely to move so I could get to my car. After staring at me for what appeared to me as a very long time, one of them remarked: “Nice tattoo. Dragons are the best. Where did you get it from?” “At the pool”, I told him feeling a bit sheepish, but earning loud laughter and lots of hands helping me to get the shopping in the car.  Think about it! Due to my tattoo – even if it was a faked one - they had made a connection with me. A faked tattoo had given me access to a circle of people I would usually not mingle with.

“We often create limitations for people by what we see”, says Jack Pransky, author of “Somebody should have told us”, a book my coach recommended to me. I had just read this sentence while exercising on the arc trainer in the gym that morning. It made so much sense.

Getting a taste of the unknown

But my encounters also meant that if we fake for others what they see, it creates limitless opportunities - for them as well as us. We all can experience being part of a different world. And with faking I don't mean lying to fit in, simply pretending for a short time to see what's it like, getting a taste of the unknown.

The faked tattoo experience also reminded me of Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and associate professor at Harvard Business School. In 2012 she triggered global sensation with her TED talk “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are” on the impact on what she calls “power poses”.

Think Wonder Woman!

Power poses are poses that make you appear bigger than you are. Think Wonder Woman! Cuddy herself gives the example of putting your feet on the desk with fingers laced behind the head and remaining so for two minutes. This will increase your testosterone levels by about 20 percent and lower the stress hormone cortisol by 25 percent, resulting in giving you more self-confidence as well as feeling and in fact being more successful.

As a side effect you not only feel better and more empowered. You are actually perceived so by others. Just as well as faking a tattoo, faking a power pose is a non-verbal statement. And the impact can be equally huge.

Playing the "What if game"

In other words, dropping your usual way of thinking, behaving, doing and faking a different thinking, behaving, doing – even for a short time - can thoroughly enrich your experiences and extend our horizon. It is a bit like a role play, a way of trying something new. Like playing the “What if game”! Which is - by the way - in particular helpful, when you are a marketeer, looking for new clients and customers. What do I do, do I wear, do I say, if I were them? Try it! Fake to be one of them. Get to know the world through their eyes and tailor your marketing strategy accordingly!

Who knows what you will discover? Who knows who you will connect with? So tell me: What will you fake? Life is too short to miss out on opportunities! I dare you to get a faked a tattoo!

Claudia Raab is the founder and Editor in Chief of the Online News and Lifestyle Portal Deutsche in Melbourne - the best contact point to connect with the German speaking community in Melbourne and Australia.

She is also an expert in communication and marketing with focus on Social Media. You can contact her via email [email protected] .