Daring to Grow: The Courage in Asking for Help

Countless moments in my life have been marked by fear, from childhood fears of the dark to adult anxieties about heights. There were instances when fear gripped me to the point of paralysis, especially in adulthood. Whether teetering on the edge of an Irish cliff, pondering the potential consequences of getting too close, or navigating a toxic professional role that left my career in shambles, fear held me captive until I did one thing: I asked for help.

One of my earliest memories was walking across the Hoan Bridge in Milwaukee and looking down between the two sides of the bridge, each for different lanes of traffic. I could see straight down, and vertigo hit me. It was my first experience with fear of heights, which continued to grow over the years, particularly while traveling. My fear wasn't so much the height itself but the potential fall. Cliff edges, bridges, and dramatic drops were my most challenging spots.

When people belittle your fear, you stop talking about it. You don't want them to lessen the impact of fear on your life, so you start to avoid situations that trigger your anxieties. But I found support in my husband, who never made fun of my fear but helped me navigate it. I knew I wanted to travel and see the world, but some places I wanted to see meant traveling narrow roads, over cavernous rivers, and high mountain peaks. He never told me I didn't have to do anything but hold my hand. Since then, I've conquered the Cliffs of Moher, driven across the Bay Bridge in San Francisco, and even rode a bike over the Golden Gate. I hope to see Machu Picchu one day, but we'll see.

However, my ability to ask for help was tested when I found myself in a job with difficulties that I needed help to navigate. I asked my boss and skip-level boss for help, but unfortunately, my fear led to my asking for assistance, which was penalized. I felt arrested again in those moments when I couldn't move forward, and I knew I didn't have the support I needed. I decided to do the best thing I could do: leave.

But I've learned that asking for help is an act of courage, and it's cowardly to mock someone instead of helping them. Asking for help involves risk; you must know how a person will respond. But there will always be people who are kind and want to help. There will also be moments when people can't give in that moment.

Today, I asked for help again from a local business owner, who went out of their way to assist me. They reminded me of the importance of continually asking for help, even if you don't know the answer. If we elevate the art of asking for help, imagine the good we could give. Imagine the hearts we could heal and the people we could help. Imagine the heights we could climb if we offered a hand to those who asked.

I would rather live in a world where we dare to be courageous in a world that vilifies asking for help.