Dare To Be Unique
Divya Kakkar
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This is going to be a long read. You may tell your acquaintances that you’re on a mini reading holiday.
Scrolled down till the end? Still came back up to read this. You look Courageous.
How ironical is it that we all want to be different and unique but we spend our entire lives trying to fit in, fit in with the society, following the norms, however incongruous they maybe, but we accept them as our supreme reality and the ultimate truth. To feed this need of fitting in, we often name these norms to be the norms of Nature, of Mankind and of Existence.
Have we ever noticed how many moments do we actually live in a day when we’re not seeking approval of others, actually doing what we wish to do and not what seems to be suiting our abiding needs of matching others, how many times do we truly follow our hearts and not merely trying to prove ourselves to others and how many times do we literally live fully and not merely acting to live.
Outliers have mostly been considered mad and stupid but we fail to accept that we are all unique and that’s a gift of nature to us. It took a lot of genetic permutations and combinations to built the unique essence that each one of us is. However, we spend our entire lives wanting to kill the uniqueness that is our true essence and in craving to fit in, fit in with what other’s think as acceptable, being oblivious to the fact that they are looking at the world through their perceptual filters and that we don’t have to match their standards of beauty, intelligence, and sanity.
What we also fail at doing is, asking the right questions, not from others but from ourselves. We forget to ask ourselves – Where are these social patterns and this need to fit, taking us? Where are we being led by people and masters who are themselves lost? A person might make up answers that may subside these burning questions but they will never reach the inner depths of the unique identity that each one of us is.
I do not at all intend to mean that all social patterns and norms are degenerative and affiliations are not to be subscribed to, but there are many which need to be questioned, amended or updated, as the situation demands and this is what being in harmony with nature means.
Nature has a basic set frame but inside that frame, it freely flows and changes every moment and that’s what is demanded of a human being as well. Change is what is demanded from human beings at every moment but the amount of resistance that the rules imposed, by those afraid of change, bring to the lives of humanity is unbearable and ever so dangerous to evolution.
Human beings having evolved from primitive animal-like beings to such a superior entity is enough evidence of nature wanting change to be a basic and accepted truth of our lives yet we live to control, control all that we can never control. We try to control Nature by predictions, by technology, by virtual reality (that we have taken to be the truth), yet we fail, fail to control even our inner selves in an attempt to control everything outside of us.
To have our own view of the world is to give ourselves the privilege of being unique and put forth our inner creativity which is the basic and truest nature of all human beings. All that is required is the acceptance of the fact that collective madness has become sanity in today’s world. If 90 people go mad and 10 remain sane, the 10 sane will have to (or at least they think they have to) subscribe to the ideas of these 90 mad people (in some cases it may be safe to do it superficially, but when we alter our identities grounded on such a belief, it becomes a threat). All of us need to understand that not all mothers can (and don’t have to either), wake up at 4 AM and cook for us and not all fathers necessarily go out to earn money, not all sisters necessarily be givers and not all brothers necessarily be takers. Each one of us is beautiful in our own unique ways and need to be accepted and appreciated for our own beautiful essence.
What we often fail at doing is accepting and defeating our own inner demons. A man who would have been conditioned (I call it corrupted) to being served like a king, would feed his ego states by demanding service at all times from others. A woman deprived of self-acceptance and self-love would crave for compliments from others and may reflect and project her vulnerability in her personal relationships. Now, all that is required to bring everything to its natural state of peace and power, is enhanced emotional intelligence and readiness to accept new things and not only the usual comforting ones. It is not questioning the social norms (as your mind addicted to comfort may say), it is updating them to the need of today.
Processes, procedures, rules, societies and patterns used to be made (in beautiful ancient civilizations) according to need and dissolved according to need. However today fear and greed of men have led humanity to this day. Men to feed their ego and power positions have inflicted so much fear and a greater need in minds of all to subscribe to their view of the world, that it has concealed the beautiful and true essence of the unique selves that we all are. Now is the time to stop promoting ideas, beliefs and desires of those appearing to be leading us. Now is the time to have a worldview of our own and to redefine things as they truly mean to us and not how they have been projected and imposed on us since birth, be it religion, education, love, be it relationships, ways of living or dealing with day to day situations, we need to have our own patterns and not the rule book that was handed over to us at birth. Had it been necessary, it would have come as a pre-installed software in the Mind, Body, and Spirit. Since it is not the case, fortunately, we have the option of dropping it down, dropping it down with a bang NOW and freeing ourselves from these burdening beliefs so at least our own selves are no more a problem for our own selves.
Love when you want to , express when you want to, breathe and pour your heart out when you want to and live as much as you want to. Don’t seek approval and don’t live to fit in all the time. Take your stand and stand your ground. Speak when you feel you are right and follow your heart. Don’t live to please, live to love.
You are your own strength and you are your own definition of wisdom. Love yourself enough at each moment so you don’t need others to tell you your worth. See your beauty and embrace it. Live to become a better person with each passing moment. Don’t live to prove, live to live.
You may already have started to notice the changes in your physiology as you put down this baggage of expectations of others from your existence. I don’t know how soon you will become the newer versions of yourself but the more you start questioning your limiting beliefs, the more you become the beautiful pearl that you truly are.
So, beautiful pearls, start your journey today and built your own world view and look at it from your own lens. Do not borrow other’s to see your world, as it may blind you forever.
P.S. – The world is a happy place to live in, in year 4010. Is that too long a time? Help bring the change early and stop aspiring for heaven to be happy. Learn not to die before you die.