Dare to Be Dull: When Being Ordinary is Extraordinary

Last night listening to a podcast, I was enamoured by the expression “Dare to be dull” .

It struck a chord right away and brought into context multiple conversations with friends and colleagues.

Pressure to be the smartest in the room at work, pressure to be irresistibly charming on a first date (or even before, for that swipe of approval), and even pressure to have a perfectly curated social media presence!

One said "It feels like I’m always performing."

We live in an age that seemingly glorifies the extraordinary. We’re told to be witty, unique, and “on” at all times, or atleast we tell ourselves that.

But is it sustainable? More importantly, is it necessary?

Maybe real connection isn’t about being interesting—but about being real.

So, what if we dared to embrace being... dull?

A while ago, I had an experience that challenged this idea in the most unexpected way—a session called Conversations in the Dark. In pitch darkness, we engaged in table activities, free from the distractions of appearance or judgment. When we reflected afterward, a common theme emerged: relief.

One person shared that his natural, unfiltered self was far more compelling than the masked version he had been presenting to the world!

The Unbearable Weight of Always Being “On”

Think about your last casual conversation. Was there a fleeting moment where you thought, “Am I interesting enough?” Now multiply that thought across work meetings, friendships, dating apps, and even family WhatsApp groups. That’s the weight many of us carry daily—a relentless need to be engaging.

But life doesn’t work like that. Humans aren’t designed to deliver a highlight reel every day. We aren’t algorithms generating perfect responses or curating ideal personas. And that’s okay.

?Ordinary Moments Are the Real Connectors

Some of the most cherished memories aren’t flashy or witty—they’re beautifully uneventful. It’s the quiet comfort of sitting with a friend in silence or the shared understanding of a long pause on a phone call. These moments don’t require punchlines or filters; they thrive in their simplicity.

The same applies to dating apps (or so I hope, having no personal experience on this one!). While the internet might have you believe that a quirky one-liner will secure true love, authentic conversations—yes, even the ones that start with a simple “Hi”—are what truly matter (or should matter!)

Dullness as a Breather

To dare to be dull is to give yourself permission to rest. To accept that you can show up as you are—no scripts, no pretences. It can be liberating, really. You stop performing and start being.

This doesn’t mean you lose your spark; it means you stop chasing it endlessly. You save it for when it matters most.

Rewriting the Script

A few simple reframes can go a long way:

·???????? At Work: Not every meeting needs to be a TED Talk. Sometimes, steady contributions hold more value than an attempt to “wow” the room.

·???????? In Relationships: Dropping the pressure to always impress. Let your genuine self be the attraction.

·???????? On Social Media: Not every post needs to go viral. Share what feels real, even if it’s mundane.

What Truly Matters

Life isn’t a constant performance; it’s a collection of authentic moments. The next time you feel the need to be captivating, remember this: the people who matter will cherish the real you, not the version trying too hard to be interesting.

As you reflect on this idea, ask yourself: When was the last time you allowed yourself to just “be” without worrying about being interesting or impressive? How did it feel?

And if your reflection made you sit up to take action, this week, try embracing a dull moment—whether it’s choosing not to overthink a text, skipping the witty response, or just sitting quietly with your thoughts.

Did it feel freeing, or was it harder than expected?

Dare to be dull—and you may just see how extraordinary life becomes ??        

Credits: Reflection inspiration: Adam Tobin, Dan Klein, University of Stanford