Dare to Care: Ending the Stigma for Men Caregivers

By Ludo Gabriele, Senior Director MARC Branding, MARC By Catalyst

One of the most harmful stereotypes consists of gendering one’s natural capacity for caregiving. This stereotype, rooted in biological determinism, still shapes and limits socially accepted behavior for people of all genders.

• The main bias toward women is that they are uniquely equipped with the ability to care.
• The main bias toward men is that they are inherently less equipped to be competent caregivers.

It is up to all of us to challenge this zero-sum thinking by ending the stigma for men caregivers.

We dare you to care and to make your care known.

All evidence points to the overwhelming benefits of involved fathers for their children, their partners (in the case of heterosexual relationships), and themselves. Yet, according to the Washington Post, only 23 percent of US workers have access to paid leave, and a 2018 study found that fewer than 5 percent of dads take even two weeks of leave.

Gender partnership in this context means being an advocate for de-gendering care.

What does this advocacy look like for individuals?

For men, daring to care means:

• Embracing a more expansive view of masculinity that values caregiving;
• Taking advantage of available flexible workplace policies, especially parental leave, and making it known;
• Being open about your active participation in your children’s lives, especially with other men.

For women, challenging the stigma for men caregivers means:

• Not making assumptions about the caregiving responsibilities (or lack thereof) of their men colleagues;
• Not making assumptions about men’s ability to be primary caregivers;
• Not making assumptions about men’s work stamina or ability to work long hours.

What does this advocacy look like for organizations?

For leaders of all genders, it means:

• Making parental leave gender free and recognizing that everyone can and should have access to parental leave, regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
• Recognizing that caregiving takes many forms (for elders or stepchildren; caring for those who are sick) that go beyond parenting.
•  Challenging your organizational culture: look deeply into workplace structures that normalize “ruthless competition” among employees and a “winner-takes-all” culture. Consider team-based rewards systems.

Let us end the stigma for men caregivers and support men who care—for the benefit of all. 

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