Dangerous Lies We Tell Ourselves
Drago Adam
Helping Companies and Businesses Reduce Marketing Expense and Increase Sales Since 1995! | Former NHL Goalie
This week we share a powerful message from thought leader, Sahil Bloom. Sahil’s message is worthy of reflection to see if we are telling ourselves lies that will not benefit us..
"The most damning lie you can tell is the lie you tell to yourself."
The sharpness of the point hit me hard at the time, and it continues to do so today.
I began reflecting on what lies I've been telling myself—from the subtle half-truths and sleight of hands, to the obvious contortionist mental gymnastics used to escape painful realities.
I'm guilty of all of these lies, though with this newfound awareness, I suspect I'll be fighting back more effectively going forward. My hope is that this piece instills that new awareness in you and allows you to fight this critical fight on solid ground.
Here are the most dangerous lies we tell ourselves (and reframes to help you fight back)...
Lie: "When I get [X], then I'll be happy"
It's easy to convince yourself that your happiness is contingent upon external milestones.
Common milestones include:
My friend Khe Hy calls these "When, Then" Traps—the idea being that you end up creating a sentence that says "When X, Then Happy".
It's a vicious cycle—a dangerous game to play. In all likelihood, you'll get X and immediately feel unfulfilled. You get the fancy car, see someone driving a fancier one, and wonder why you don't have that.
These things won't make you happy. Real happiness always comes from within.
Reframe: I will find joy in the process of getting [X], and take pride in the fact that my consistency of effort earned me [X].
Lie: "This is just who I am"
Treating your identity, competencies, and personality as a constant is just a cop out. You're selling yourself short.
The Paradox of Change says that the only constant in life is change.
You are no exception—you are in a constant state of change.
Adapt or die.
Reframe: This is who I am TODAY, but I am capable of incredible change.
Lie: "I don't have time for [X]"
Stop blaming time and giving your focus a free pass.
Time is almost never the real issue—we somehow make time for the things we really care about.
Most issues of time are really just issues of prioritization.
Reframe: I don't have time for [X] in my current schedule, so if [X] is important to me, I need to re-look at my current prioritization.
Lie: "I'm not capable of [X]"
Self-defeating language is always a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you tell yourself that you're not capable of something, you won't be.
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Reframe: I'm not capable of [X] today, but I will be after 30 days of dedicated, focused effort.
Lie: "I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to do [X]"
There's no such thing as the perfect moment. If you wait for it to come, you're doomed.
Deep down, we know that, but we hide behind it.
If it's something you are excited and (reasonably) prepared for, sometimes you just need to take the leap and trust in your ability to adapt.
Reframe: There will never be a perfect moment to do [X], but if I'm prepared, now is the right moment.
Lie: "I'm too late to do [X]"
This is usually just a cheap excuse for laziness or fear of embarrassment. You're almost never too late to start on a journey.
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today."
Reframe: Today's "too late" can become tomorrow's "early" if I start moving now.
Lie: "I'll do [X] later"
No you won't—you're just giving yourself a pass to continue procrastinating.
The things we continuously push out are the things that never get done.
Four options (based on the Eisenhower Matrix):
Reframe: I'll do [X] right now if it's urgent and important, or at [specific time] in future if it's not as urgent as other important tasks. I'll delegate or delete [X] if it's not important.
Those are some of the most dangerous lies we tell ourselves, and the reframes that can help you fight back.
Action Item: For the next week, pay attention to your internal dialogue and catch yourself when you say any of these. Use the reframes to change the narrative.
If your business needs marketing that works, give us a call. We're here to help!
Have a great day unless you chose otherwise!
Drago
PS - We would like to welcome two new clients to the Adam Ad Group Family. Comox Valley Dodge and Comox Valley Toyota. For any of our friends and subscribers on Vancouver Island, if you need a vehicle we have you covered. You can check them out on their websites below.
www.ComoxValleyDodge.com ask for Carson Grant
www.ComoxValleyToyota.com ask for Rob Ferguson
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