A dangerous lie that many still believe...

A dangerous lie that many still believe...

One of the BIGGEST and most dangerous LIES that many people still believe:

*Self-criticism is a great way to motivate yourself.*

The idea that trash talking to yourself increases your chances of achieving goals

…is an absolute fallacy.

What it actually does is the complete opposite.?

It makes you less effective, less likely to take action and more afraid of failure.?

It paves the way for stress, anxiety and even puts you at a higher risk of depression.?

So then why do so many of us still do it?

A lot of the time it’s all we've ever known. It’s what we think got us to where we are.

We’re convinced it’s the reason for our achievements and successes.?

And we fear that without it we would become complacent, lose our drive and our motivation.?

But that’s simply not true.?

Actually, by doing the exact opposite (being Self-compassionate) you can seriously boost your motivation.?

By being kind to yourself: you reduce stress levels and promote a sense of calm.

You create a more supportive relationship within, which makes you resilient and better at bouncing back.?

Who’s more likely to go to the gym??

Someone who gets shouted at as soon as they get there or someone who’s received with kindness and understanding?

Who’s more likely to start a new business??

Someone who gets insulted every time they fail or someone who knows they will be supported no matter the outcome???

It’s a no brainer.?

By approaching yourself with kindness, support and understanding, you increase your likelihood to start things and continue with your efforts.

So next time you find yourself trash-talking or being self-critical to motivate yourself, consider that it’s not the most efficient approach.

Consider that in order to get more done and increase your chances of achieving things, a much better approach is to:

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.??

Motivate yourself in the same way you would motivate your best friend.

When you catch yourself saying “you’re so stupid Billie”, apologize and instead say “It’s OK Billie you made a mistake, now keep going”.?

Start recognizing your negative thought patterns and reframe them into constructive ones.?

Finally, and also probably the most underrated form of self-compassion: focus on Self-care.?

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs is the best way to increase motivation.?

Get good sleep, eat healthy, exercise and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Do all of the above and you will become unstoppable.?

Much love,

Alex


PS: What I’m reading: Last Light - Alex Scarrow

What I’m watching: Yesterday (The movie)?

Quote of the week: "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself." - Steve Maraboli

Mike Howarth

Making high achieving men unstoppable. Welcome to The Peak Performance Project.

1 年

How on earth am I not subscribed to this Alex? Anyway I’ve just fixed that. Great point too. You can only beat yourself to your goals so far. However it’s an awful way to exist and self defeating, in the final analysis or when the goals you reach are not as you expected. Avoid. Excellent point champ!

Lottie Khan

Friendly Recruiter at EY ??Follow for job-seeking & hiring tips ??New Post every Tuesday at 07:15 GMT ??I recruit HR & Recruitment Professionals ??Proud to work for EY

1 年

Treat others like you would like to be treated yourself but also treat yourself like you would treat your best best ??

Alex ?stergaard

Master your Mindset | Helping you gain clarity and confidence so you can stop doubting yourself and live a life that truly fulfils you. Self-Confidence & Inner-Freedom Coach ??

1 年

??? Ready to stop feeling like a fraud? ?? Looking to find more inner peace & freedom? ??Take my FREE 2mins Self-Confidence test ??Hit the link below: https://alexlifecoach-confidence.scoreapp.com/

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Kate Moreton

?? Helping Agencies, Start-ups and Founders with Business Development and Sales Growth

1 年

This felt like a big hug reading this! Alex ??

David Hannan

I help job seekers with ADHD pivot careers in a system that wasn’t built for them | Ex-Recruiter | Hyper-Focused Backpacker ??

1 年

When was the last time you held your own hand? Or gently stroked your own arm? Self-comfort is a proven method of calming ourself and feeling comforted. Try it. But maybe not on the train.

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