The Danger of Vulnerability: Why Black Women Must Protect Themselves Personally and Professionally
Amid significant political shifts and the ever-present social struggles, Black women are urged to be more open and vulnerable, in part due to rising voices in mental health and emotional well-being movements — blue bracelets only better, one hopes.?
But thought leaders like Brené Brown, who routinely encourage people to embrace vulnerability as a means to connect and build trust, don’t seem to understand that for Black women, vulnerability is often fraught with unique challenges. Think about that now infamous LSU Women’s Basketball win, where Angel Reese and other Black female athletes faced backlash, double standards, and disrespect just because they had the audacity to be proud, Black, and winners. Vulnerability, for Black women, is rarely safe — whether it’s displayed on the court, in the workplace, or in everyday life.
Why is vulnerability so dangerous for Black women? What are the societal factors that make Black women’s self-expression a potential risk to their safety and well-being? Strap yourself in and let’s talk about it. I’ve also outlined some actionable steps Black women can take to authentically express themselves without compromising their mental, emotional, or physical safety.
Vulnerability and Systemic Double Standards: A Familiar Battlefield
Audre Lorde once said: “When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid.” And this quote embodies the familiar paradox that many Black women face. To remain silent can be exhausting and disempowering. But speaking up can also be tiring as we’re expected to educate, commiserate, and come up with solutions all on the same ticket.?
Not to mention how often our displays of vulnerability are met with hostility, especially in environments dominated by systemic biases. Angel Reese and the LSU Women’s Basketball Team’s 2024 NCAA victory showcases this dilemma perfectly. Despite achieving an extraordinary feat, Reese and her teammates faced intense scrutiny, including disrespectful comments about their character, backgrounds, and appearance. Meanwhile, athletes of other races, like Caitlin Clark, who displayed similar behaviors are often praised for their competitive spirit, if there is any commentary made at all.?
To add insult to injury, First Lady Jill Biden suggested inviting both LSU and their rivals, Iowa, to the White House to celebrate a “historic” game. Biden subsequently took back the invite in the wake of the resulting backlash, but the slight had already been made. Not only did it diminish clear evidence of Black excellence, the incident mirrors the broader challenges Black women face daily: We always have to “earn” the respect that should inherently accompany success and recognition. Whereas white women often do not. Theirs is readily given — like an invite for the loser to the White House. Further, the backlash Reese experienced then, and still deals with today, highlights why many Black women feel safer concealing their authentic selves, lest they invite unwarranted criticism and abuse.
Historical and Social Backdrop of Vulnerability for Black Women
Historically, society has required Black women to fit an unrealistic and ever changing mold. We’re expected to be strong, resilient, and self-sacrificing — traits embedded in the “strong Black woman” stereotype. While these traits are often celebrated, they can be stifling, forcing Black women to suppress vulnerability as a matter of survival. The cost of this forced resilience is staggering, as Black women face higher rates of anxiety, depression, and stress-related physical ailments than their white counterparts.
Researcher Amy Edmondson defined psychological safety as the absence of fear in interpersonal relations. Essentially, individuals can bring their authentic selves to interactions without fear of punishment or humiliation. But that’s not often the case for Black women’s experiences in public or professional spaces. Vulnerability without safety becomes a dangerous burden, and this has far-reaching implications for one’s mental and physical health.
Think about it. Systemic inequities make it nearly impossible for Black women to engage in vulnerability the way it’s presented by popular culture. Therefore, while valuable thought leaders like Brené Brown’s concepts often don’t account for the heightened risk that Black women face. Until we are equally represented in research and discussions on mental health, Black women will likely be left out of critical frameworks meant to support authenticity and self-expression.
Understanding the Unique Risks of Vulnerability for Black Women
Risk is not something that Black women can always afford. When decks are already stacked against us in many spaces, playing it safe becomes a core practice for our survival. When we don’t, there are:
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