The danger of playing it safe

The danger of playing it safe

“You’re a business owner, not a freelancer.” - Nakita Pope, founder of Branding Chicks

Nakita M. Pope said this a couple of years ago during a live interview with me for my Room for Us community. The interview took place just as I was about to step into entrepreneurship. I am forever grateful for Nakita’s advice. I have since quoted it many times while working as a career and business coach, especially when business owners ask for help navigating tough conversations and negotiations.

Differentiating between being a business owner and a freelancer

This is a personal opinion, but I think all freelancers are all business owners, though not all business owners may consider themselves to be freelancers.

According to Merriam-Webster, the etymology of freelancing comes from the medieval days. Freelancers were literally free lancers “who would fight for whichever nation or person paid them the most.” Their agenda was purely a means to an end. I will lend you my loyalty and my mercenary product in exchange for your resources.

Today, modern freelancers can exercise their free will in the market. That said, there is no standard or expectation for them beyond using their hard skills to create respectable products. Yes, I can take on that project for you for a fee.

On the other hand, modern business owners operate with a brand vision and strategy. What kind of clientele do I want to work with in the short term and long term? How does my work portfolio reflect and reinforce my business’s purpose and identity? I don’t take orders; I partner with my clients.

Disclaimer: As someone in the creative space, I know that many of my peers consider themselves to be freelancers who take on part-time or full-time contracts and/or side gigs. There is nothing inherently wrong with calling yourself a freelancer, and I am not sharing this article to shame or cancel the idea of freelancing. I simply want to encourage freelancers and business owners alike to take pride in what they do, and to stand in their power when they are negotiating or marketing their value. How you see yourself can make a world of difference in how you advocate for yourself.

The power of positionality and personal branding

Nakita’s bold statement (“You’re a business owner, not a freelancer”) is a worthy challenge and a calling. She insists that you take command of any room or conversation with self-respect and self-awareness around your positionality. How are you framing the way you see yourself, the way you speak about yourself and the way you respect your work and purpose on this earth? Level up so that you can also level up your business and brand.

Here are two real-world scenarios that I often run into as a coach. One is a business-related example and one is a non-business-related example for folks who may not be in the entrepreneurial space.


Business case study:

Client: Hi Phim, I’m about to meet with a prospective client. I used to work with them on small side projects when I was still doing full-time work. Now that I’ve officially founded my single-member LLC, I’m afraid that they’ll balk at my higher rates… but I have to think about my value and my expenses (paying for healthcare, bookkeeping, etc.).

Phim: You’re 100% right. You shouldn’t discount your value, and they shouldn’t either.

Client: What do I do? They’ve traditionally lowballed me.

Phim: Do you want to work with a client who continuously undermines your value and worth?

Client: No, but I do like them—and I have shared history. I want to do this. I just need help negotiating.

Phim: Remember that you always have the power of choice in who you work with as a business. That said, since you want to follow through with the negotiation, the most important thing is to think about your positionality. You can reshape these words to match your tone of voice and brand, but essentially, you have to say, “The rules of engagement have changed between the last time we worked together and now. Before, I used to do freelancing in a more casual capacity. Now, I own and run a business. These are my new boundaries as a business owner. If you want us to work together, I need you to respect that you are not working with a freelancer but with a business entity.”

Client: I’m scared.

Phim: That’s normal and natural, especially when you are starting out. You’re allowed to be human. That said, think about how your competitors—such as agencies and firms—would talk about themselves in the same pitch. “We represent X company, and as a company, we will deliver XYZ services. In order to work with us, our standard rate is…” There is less hesitation on both the competitor's and the client's side to talk about money and value from a more neutral standpoint because the competitor is standing in for a third-party organization.

When you speak with your client as a solopreneur, it can feel almost too personal because you will always be seen as a first-party. This is why you must remind your client that you are no different than your competitors representing larger brands or teams. You also represent a brand, a business and an entity. As I said to one client in the past, “You are the whole damn team. The CEO, the strategy department, the creative crew, production, post-production, marketing, etc.” Don’t let them forget that, that is the value you bring as a comprehensive business offering. They need to pay for all of that, or they need to shave down their scope of work.

Negotiations are ultimately about boundary setting. How much are you willing to give or to give up? It’s easier to set the tone early on, as opposed to trying to readjust things in the middle.


Non-business case study:

Client: Hi Phim, I’m about to negotiate with my boss for a raise and a promotion. I’m scared they’re going to tell me no because there’s little room for me to move up the corporate ladder here… and because a lot of people still treat me like the junior team member who joined two years ago. That said, people have been giving me more advanced projects in the last couple of months. If I’m being honest, I feel like they’re taking advantage of me. And to be fair, I haven’t been telling them “No” either, so I’ve been doing more while being paid less…

Phim: I see. There’s lots to unpack here. Let’s start with your positionality and your personal brand at work. Right now, people see you as a junior. But they also see you as someone who is capable and reliable, which is why they’ve been stretching your roles and responsibilities at work.

Client: Yes. And I am hungry for more, which is why I keep taking on more work.

Phim: When you take on more work without pushing back, you inadvertently tell them that your boundaries are porous. You also invisibly communicate that you don’t mind being taken advantage of because you are not speaking up for yourself. That said, I know that you know your worth and that you respect yourself enough not to want to be taken advantage of. So what needs to change?

Client: I need to draw clearer boundaries and speak up more.

Phim: What else?

Client: I need to be braver.

Phim: What does bravery mean to you?

Client: It means being honest and saying things that scare me, or that rock the boat.

Phim: Why is that important?

Client: In my heart, I know it’s the right thing to do.

Phim: In other words, you don’t want to betray your conscience, or yourself.

Client: Right.

Phim: What’s something that you can do to stand tall and to not back down?—so that you can feel brave?

Client: I don’t know.

Phim: When we talk about positionality and personal branding, we’re really threading the needle through...

  • the stories we tell ourselves
  • the stories we tell others about ourselves
  • and the stories we want them to tell about what we mean to them and the world.

Instead of letting them internalize only one story about you (your first impression that you gave as a new team member from years ago), you have to remind them that there is a newer and more fair story to be told about who you are in the present (a leader and an expert), and who you will become in the future (a thought leader and a change maker in the industry).

The pen’s in your hand, not theirs. Write the story and then reamplify it.

TL;DR: Stand tall and tell them, “I know who I am, I know what I’m about. I’m a leader. I need you to recognize and respect this.”

Closing thoughts

I want to share a couple more quotes that are meaningful to me on the topic of betting on yourself, negotiating and asserting your worth and power.

The craziest thing we can do is nothing. - charity: water

I have been a longtime supporter of the nonprofit charity: water. This used to be one of their mottos that they’d repeatedly say. When I share this quote with my clients, I remind them that if we never speak up, try something new, or push for what is right (out of fear of retaliation or judgment), we run into a certain kind of danger…

The danger isn’t in trying something new, but in never changing and always playing it safe. - Advice I give to my coaching and tarot clients

As a coach and as a healer, I do a lot of work with clients when it comes unpacking and unlearning cultural norms. As social animals, we don’t want to go against the grain to the point where we lose our social connections—even in work and business settings. That said, we don’t need to conform to outdated generational expectations (e.g., keep your head down and do your work silently without asking for more). What felt dangerous for one generation may no longer be a threat. Even if there is a danger, how can our generation create more safety nets and structures of support? This is the work we can commit to doing on an individual and societal level.

I engage in the “front lines” of this work as a coach and a healer. I invite you to also explore this work for yourself as an individual, mentor, leader and member of the greater collective. If you see power imbalances, learned helplessness or passivity, take action. Don’t play it safe.

On your way out

  • Come hang out this weekend at the Solstice Collective's Soft Launch Festival . I will be doing free tarot readings in-person to support the event.
  • Join me on July 13th at The Washingtonian's Best of Washington program at The Anthem. I'll be doing four hours of live tarot reading at a venue that I love for an event that means a lot to me as a resident of the DMV!
  • I got a sneak peek of our Phim’s Oasis Retreat’s catering menu from Lela at Teaism Tea Shop yesterday. I will be dreaming of Hungarian tea cakes, Moroccan mint tea and Teaism’s signature ginger scones until our retreat on August 5th and 6th. Food will be provided for all of our retreat guests. We cannot wait for you to be nourished with Teaism’s delectable treats and tea! ??????
  • Friendly reminder that you can join me for my virtual summer mindfulness camp. More information can be found here.
  • You can also book an ad-hoc coaching call or business consulting call via my calendar portal.
  • In terms of extensive coaching, I am taking on a smaller number of coaching clients for the summer. I work with various folks with unique backgrounds, but in general, I specialize in supporting women and people of color who are ready to transform their personal and/or professional lives in a big and meaningful way. If you feel called to do this work, please fill out my coaching intake form here . I will reach out if it feels like we would be a good match.


Nakita M. Pope

Brand Strategist & Consultant / Creative Director / AIGA ATL President / AIGA Fellow / Professor & Keynote Speaker

1 年

I love this Phim!

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