The Danger of Learning a Foreign Language

Knowing others is wisdom;  knowing yourself is enlightenment —Lao Tzu

Folks who hear me speak Japanese often marvel at my “knack for foreign languages.” Nothing could be further from the truth. But it doesn't hurt that I come from a long line of talkers. In this sense, I’m carrying on the great Sullivan tradition of talking.

The U.S. Navy provided the conditions that made it possible to learn Japanese by sending me to Japan at the tender age of nineteen. My eventual fluency in the language was the result of sheer effort backed by a powerful primordial motivator: I wanted to talk to all the beautiful Japanese ladies, most of whom didn't speak a lick of English.

I was discharged from the Navy in Japan in 1979. In April of 1980 I enrolled in Waseda University’s one-year intensive Japanese language program. My time at Waseda was a turning point. It was the year I learned to carry on a basic conversation in Japanese, however clumsily. It was also the year it dawned on me that learning a foreign language didn’t assure effective communication. At the time I knew just enough to be dangerous, and was discovering the hard way that if you don’t understand the values, assumptions, thought process and culture behind the language you’re studying, then you’re probably better off not speaking the language at all. 

The idea of distinguishing the spoken word from the concept of communication might sound confusing to someone with limited cross-cultural experience. To simplify the concept, let’s use driving a car as an analogy.

We can all agree that a car is a transportation tool to get you from point A to point B. You can learn the techniques needed to drive that car—how to start the engine, put it in gear, turn left or right, press the brake to stop, and so on. This would be analogous to learning the grammar and vocabulary of a foreign language. Problem is, if you don’t understand the “rules of the road,” then how would you know that a red light means “stop”? Or which side of the road you’re supposed to drive on?

Extending the analogy, by learning and using a foreign language without knowledge of the target culture’s “rules of the road,” your language ability ceases to be a tool, and instead becomes a weapon. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was driving my metaphorical car on the wrong side of the road, running through red lights, and over my Japanese hosts, rather than building meaningful relationships.

Again and again I stumbled onto clues that I wasn't connecting—puzzled looks, passive aggressive responses, answers that didn’t match my questions, jokes that bombed, or worse, that offended my hosts! I wasn’t sure at the time what was happening, just that I was struggling. My next move was to enroll at International Christian University in Tokyo, where for the next four years I would continue studying Japanese with a focus on intercultural studies.

I stumbled onto the importance of culture when I signed up for a class in my sophomore year entitled “Introduction to Intercultural Communication.” Taught by an American professor, I attended the first day of class thinking we’d be delving into the finer points of Japanese culture, only to learn the course was focused on American culture.

I immediately decided to drop the course. I approached the professor after class to ask when he’d be offering a course on Japanese culture. He couldn’t answer my question, but gave me great advice that stuck with me. He said, “If you really want to learn to communicate with other cultures, you have to understand your own culture first. That way you have a baseline for comparison and are better equipped to deal with any culture.” Then he added, “Unfortunately most people don’t understand their own culture. Self-understanding is the best place to start.”

I took his advice to heart, and it proved to be a humbling experience because that’s when the truth hit me: I had been unconsciously projecting my values onto my Japanese hosts since I had arrived in Japan! Suddenly I felt like the punchline of this joke: 

One fish says to the other fish, “How’s the water?” The other fish responds, “What the hell is water?”

That “other fish” was me, and “water” was my values. So immersed was I, that my own beliefs were invisible to me. In concrete terms, I had been unconsciously projecting my values onto my Japanese hosts, values that emphasized individualism, equality, fairness, directness, and “speaking the truth” at all costs.

How wrong I was!

This introduction to my own culture was the catalyst that helped “pull me out of the water” and see the errors of my ways. The notion that something as abstract as a cultural value had so much power in connecting people—and driving them apart—was an epiphany. And it kindled a passion for cross-cultural communication, eventually leading to the profession I’ve worked in most of my adult life.

Learning a foreign language was indeed a game-changer for me. But only because it compelled me to look past language and gain a better understanding of my own cultural values. Unfortunately, it took way too many head-on collisions before I realized I was driving on the wrong side of the road.

Please don't make the same mistake I did. Learn the rules of the road of your target culture upfront. It will greatly enhance the effectiveness of using your second language as a tool to connect, and in the process, help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself.