The Danger of Indifference

As we approach Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, I am reminded of a profound lesson in empathy and the often-misunderstood essence of his legacy. Yesterday, I attended a global empathy summit, a gathering that always energizes me with its diverse perspectives on empathy. At the end of the summit, the participants are placed in breakout sessions to engage in empathy circles. My experience this time led to a startling realization about the limits of empathy and the burden of indifference.

A participant in my empathy circle praised the work of Daryl Davis, an African American musician and activist known for engaging with KKK members to encourage them to renounce their bigotry. While his efforts are commendable, hearing about them triggered a visceral reaction in me, a pain in my chest. I imagined myself being asked to do the same, something I realized I could not and would not do.

This moment of self-awareness highlighted what I believe to be a case of psychic numbing—a defense mechanism against overwhelming emotional engagement, often used synonomously with compassion fatigue or empathy fade. I wrote an article about the impacts of psychic numbing in industries like healthcare. My reaction wasn't an institutional reaction, it was a personal one about rejecting the idea of sitting with a Klansman; it exemplified the exhaustion I still feel after being expected to educate others about bigotry, race, and racism, especially in the wake of George Floyd’s murder.

On this eve of MLK Day, it is important to know how Dr. King's philosophy that centered love was often misconstrued as a call for tolerance towards hatefulness. However he was, in fact, a fierce advocate against indifference, which he saw as tolerance and fuel for hatefulness to thrive. His Letter from the Birmingham Jail powerfully addresses this, criticizing the "white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice, who prefers a negative peace without tension to a positive peace with justice." King did not prioritize meeting with the Klan but there is record of him traveling to North Carolina State University in 1966 and the KKK used his presence in at Raleigh as an excuse to rally. Although King's visit drew a diverse crowd that was five times larger than the KKK rally, 8 reporters were assigned to cover the KKK rally on Fayetteville Street instead of highlighting King. Dr. King understood that the indifference of most people, often disguised as a neutral stance, actually perpetuates injustice.

In my empathy circle at the summit, I observed a concerning trend: equating the act of empathetically listening to those with "different opinions" or "differing political views" with the willingness to engage empathetically with members of a group known for its violent racism. This conflation is not just incorrect; it's dangerous. It oversimplifies the complex nature of empathy and disregards the emotional labor and trauma involved in such interactions, especially for Black people.

Dr. King's legacy teaches us that empathy must be coupled with action against injustice. Empathy is not merely about understanding and feeling the emotions of others, including those who oppress. It's also about recognizing when empathy is used as a tool to demand emotional labor from those who have been historically marginalized and oppressed.

As we honor Dr. King, let's remember that his message was not about passively tolerating injustice under the guise of empathy. It was about actively challenging and dismantling systems of oppression, about speaking up against indifference, and about understanding that true empathy demands justice.

As we celebrate Dr. King's birthday tomorrow, let us commit to an empathy that is active, justice-oriented, and aware of its limits. It’s about recognizing where our empathetic efforts can truly make a difference and where they might inadvertently contribute to the very systems we seek to change. Dr. King’s vision of a just society was rooted in a deep understanding of empathy, not as an end in itself, but as a means to achieving greater equality and justice as I doubt you need, yet another mattress.