Dancing with My Father by Larnette Phillips

For all you fathers out there--and all those daughters who know what it's like to be "Daddy's little girl"--this is for all of you.

I remember the first time I danced with my father.? I was almost two and learning to walk for the very first time. There he was, with outstretched hands, saying, “Come to Daddy, baby, come to Daddy.”? He waited for me and when he caught me in his arms, there we stood, just he and I, in the living room, dancing for the first time as he began to teach me the dance of life.?

??????????? I danced with my father yet another time, later, when I was a little older.? He swung me higher and higher in the swing until it seemed as though I could almost touch the sky.? And when he settled the swing, he stood in front of me, a few feet away, and said, “Run to Daddy.”? I ran into my father’s arms and that was the next time I danced with my father.

??????????? Another day, at another time, I had climbed too high up a tree. I was so scared!? How was I to get down and do so safely?? And then I saw my father, standing there, just below the tree, smiling up at me. He said, “Jump, honey.? I’ll catch you.? Don’t be afraid.? I’m here.”? I learned to trust my father that day as I let go of the limb and jumped into his arms.? And that was another day and another moment, when I began to know the dance of life with my father.

??????????? It seemed a though the years passed by so swiftly—faster than I ever thought they would—and suddenly, there I was, decked out in my little dress, all set to go to the prom.? That night, before my date picked me up, my father turned to me and said, “Come with me, hon.”? He took me by the hand and lead me into the living room where he turned on the stereo.? He looked me straight in the eye with all the love he could muster. He looked so proud of me that day, too, and then he said, “Can I have this dance?”

??????????? A big lump swelled in my throat that day as I said, “Okay.”? My father and me on the dance floor or our living room.? Imagine that!

??????????? He said to me, “Young lady, this is how a lady dances.? Now take my hand—and always remember—you let that young man lead and follow his steps and it will be all right.”? He kissed me on the forehead that night.? It was my first dance and one I would not soon forget.? He had given me an example of what I should expect, not only from my date for the prom, but in life.? He waved us farewell that night as we go in my friend’s car.? At that moment, I did not realize how precious dancing with my father would one day become.

??????????? Years, more than I cared to count, came and went again and there I was yet another day, staring up at the church steeple, preparing to enter it and greet the man that would, in moments, become my husband.? In the rectory, my father stuck his head in the door. “One thing, hon, before I walk you down the aisle.”

??????????? “What is it, Dad?”

??????????? “May I have this dance? If we don’t do it now, I’ll dance with you after you’re married and I want one more dance with my little girl.”

??????????? Around and around the rectory room, my father waltzed me around the floor. He planted another kiss on my forehead that day and said, “Dance the dance of life with him.? Dance with him and dance with your heart.? Dance with him in the morning and when the sun sets in the evening. Never forget to dance with your husband for as long as you are together.? You’ll never regret it.”

??????????? That was the day my father and I danced together and entered into a new beginning.

??????????? Four years later, I stood before a nursery, staring down at a miracle from God, and alongside my husband I stood my father.? I was such a mess!? Or at least I thought so!? There I was all tired from labor and looking awful in that hospital gown.? I could maneuver pretty good and the sight of my child had made it all worthwhile.? There was my dad, with his outstretched hand. I smiled.? By now I knew. “May I have this dance?”

??????????? “In the middle of the hospital hallway?”

??????????? “Of course.? Where else?”

??????????? There we were, my husband a smiling bystander, and once more, my father took me by the hand and showed me how to dance. “You’re a mother now,” he whispered in my ear.? “Dance with your child.? Don’t you ever be too busy. Teach your child to dance.? Show your child that you will pass this way but once and teach your child that the dance is what makes it all worthwhile.”? I cried that day.? My father’s hair had turned a beautiful gray and his face was more lined than ever now. “I love you, Daddy.”

??????????? “I love you, too, kitten,” he whispered again.? ‘Go on. Dance hon.”

??????????? Where does the time go?? Suddenly, our child was a healthy adult and I had returned home to visit my father now.? He sat in his rocking chair with his walker by his side, staring out the window.

??????????? “Hi Daddy,” I said as I leaned to kiss him on the cheek. “Can I have this dance?”

??????????? With tears in his eyes and his gait slower than ever, he ambled up from the chair and grabbed hold of his walker. “I wouldn’t miss a dance with my little girl for nothing.? “C’mon.” ??????????? Daddy held onto his walker and I placed my hands on top of his and we danced a very slow dance.? Tears slipped down his cheeks as he held onto my hands and danced with his little girl.?

??????????? “I love you, Daddy,” I said when we finished dancing and I wrapped my arms around him.? “I will always know how to dance because you taught me.”

??????????? “Dance, sweetheart.? Dance. It’s the only thing that makes life worth living—when you finally learn to dance, you’ve got the key.? I love you, too, you know.”

??????????? “I know, Daddy, I know.”

??????????? That was the last time I danced with my father.? Now, all these months later, the call came that no one ever wants to receive.

??????????? And so, a few days ago, I walked toward my father’s coffin one last time, and as I did, I touched his cheek as he lay there and then I kissed him one more time.? I looked at the man who had taught me to dance.? I whispered his name.? “Daddy,” I said ever so softly, “I promise you I will never forget to dance.? And one day, you and your little girl will dance together again.? I promise.”

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