The Dance Steps of Leadership: When to Step Up, Step Down, Step Forward, and Step In

When should someone be a leader? Should leadership be something you take on because you want to, because you're forced into it, or because circumstances demand that you step up? What should we consider when deciding whether to take on a leadership role?

I was recently reflecting on this during a conversation with an old friend from Secondary 3—someone who, for as long as I’ve known him, has naturally gravitated toward leadership. Back in school, he was the one spearheading co-curricular activities, leading teams, and taking charge without hesitation. Meanwhile, I was more than happy to play a supporting role, letting others take the lead while I quietly contributed from behind the scenes. Leadership wasn’t something I sought out, but for my friend, it seemed like second nature.

However, this led me to question something deeper: When is it necessary to lead? Is it when we feel ready, or when circumstances push us into that role? Does effective leadership come from desire, responsibility, or necessity? I’ve found that people often face this dilemma, balancing their willingness to lead against external demands and the pressures that come with it. Sometimes, the answer is obvious. Other times, the line between stepping up and stepping back can be blurry.

This dilemma reminded me of Alex Budak’s TED Talk, “You Don’t Have to Be a CEO to Be a Leader.” He redefined leadership as something we can all engage in through small, everyday actions. Budak called these moments “micro-leadership,” emphasizing that influence doesn’t require a title or formal authority. Leadership can be as simple as showing compassion or helping someone through a challenge. He shared how one of his most powerful leadership moments at StartSomeGood came not from grand strategy, but from stepping in to support a colleague during a difficult time. It was a reminder that small, empathetic actions can have just as much impact as larger decisions.

Budak also explored the concept of “shared leadership,” where leadership is fluid and distributed across the team based on strengths. Instead of waiting for one person to lead, teams become more resilient when everyone steps forward when the moment calls for their expertise. Leadership, then, is less about control and more about creating the right conditions for others to succeed. It’s a collective effort, not an individual pursuit.

This conversation also reminded me of Sue (not her real name), a colleague who excelled as a specialist but expressed a strong desire to move into leadership. Curious, I asked her why she wanted to take on a leadership role, especially considering the difficulties of managing people. She acknowledged the challenges but shared a story from her early career, working in a bank.

Sue managed an officer who wasn’t responding well to instructions, despite several attempts to help her improve. Still in her twenties at the time, Sue had to make the tough call to let the officer go. It was a difficult conversation that weighed on her, but years later, the officer reached out to thank her. Being let go had pushed the officer into a new chapter of life, where she found a role better suited to her strengths and was now thriving. That experience became Sue’s fuel, motivating her to lead. She realized that making tough decisions—at the right time—can benefit both sides and create growth for everyone involved.

Reflecting on these stories and my own leadership journey, I came up with a simple framework that can help leaders navigate different situations: Step Up, Step Forward, Step In, and Step Down.

1. Step Up when no one else is taking charge. Sometimes, leadership is about seeing an opportunity where everyone else sees uncertainty. When others are looking for direction, it’s your moment to take responsibility and guide the team.

2. Step Forward when your strengths match the situation. Every leader brings unique skills, and certain moments call for those abilities to come to the forefront. Step forward when you know your expertise can lead to a better outcome.

3. Step In when empathy or conflict resolution is needed. Leadership isn’t always about big decisions; often, it’s about stepping into difficult situations that require a leader’s calm and understanding. Whether it’s offering emotional support during a tough time, resolving a conflict within the team, or helping to mediate a disagreement, these moments define a leader's ability to guide others through challenges and bring about positive resolutions.

4. Step Down when it’s clear someone else is better suited to lead. Knowing when to step aside is just as important as stepping up. Whether it’s letting someone else grow into their leadership role or realizing it’s time to make a tough decision, stepping down allows others to rise.

As leaders, this framework helps us navigate our role more effectively. Leadership is like learning a dance. Sometimes, you take the lead and guide the rhythm, other times you step back and let your partner shine. At times, you adjust your steps to support those around you, and then there are moments where stepping aside entirely allows the flow to continue uninterrupted. The key to great leadership is mastering the dance, knowing when to take the lead, when to follow, and when to step out gracefully.

As Budak said, “Leaders may be scarce, but leadership is plentiful.” By understanding when to Step Up, Step Forward, Step In, or Step Down, we can create environments where both leaders and teams can thrive. Leadership isn’t always about being in control—it’s about knowing when to lead, when to support, and when to let others shine.