Daily Practice Is Not Too Much
We often refer to the art of co-creating a great relationship as a spiritual practice. And just as it is a requirement to become an adept spiritual practitioner, it is a requirement of a couple to put in the time and energy in their practices to become adept at a romantic partnership. Just like the spiritual practitioner that spends time every day in meditation or prayer, romantic partners spend time in a mindfulness practice composed of being together in a purposeful way. And daily practice is not too much.??
The time of the practice could be first thing in the morning upon awakening. Before the busy day starts, there can be a contemplative pause to connect with each other before interacting with others and the activities of the day. For others, it is the time of reconnection at the end of the workday. And for still others, their connection time is when they get into bed at night and debrief about their day. The check-in is to connect to each other and to be sure that there is nothing that is incomplete that could turn into conflict. Upsets can be percolating below the surface, and when we take regular time to clear them up, they cannot grow in size to damaging proportions.??
There is also a soothing effect that comes with regular connections. Any distance that can occur, even from the daily commitments that our day is composed of, can mean that we are traveling in different worlds. When we come together to share about our day, we overlap our worlds. We then can feel seen, heard, respected, and known.?
If we are disappointed by something that did not turn out the way we hoped or frightened by a challenge we have taken on, it can be a vulnerable time for us. To have someone to bring those tender feelings to is a great opportunity. If we are feeling particularly vulnerable, the touchy-feely approach can do just the trick. Being held, especially skin to skin brings soothing energy and affects us on a basic level as if we were a fretting baby who is rocked and held with affection and patience. The warmth of our partner’s body may bring relief more than anything they can say.??
You don’t have to take my word for it. Look to your own experience to see if your relationship is compromised if you don’t take the time to care for it and if it thrives when you do.?
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