What should we really focus on?

The Law of Attraction / Manifestation

I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and I do understand what she’s trying to convey. I have also heard from a number of people about how the whole concept of ‘The Universe’ and how only we are responsible for our circumstances are very simplistic ways of approaching life. I believe that both viewpoints make sense and both are right in their own way.?

Yes, there are some circumstances that are beyond our control (a pandemic, recession etc.) and there are some unforeseen circumstances that do affect us directly or indirectly (death, loss of occupation, an injury etc). Individuals who blindly believe in the power of attraction (or manifestation) may end up thinking too much about such negative circumstances and trying to figure out what they did ‘wrong’ or how they might have thought ‘negative thoughts’ that led to these situations. This might lead those individuals into deeper feelings of misery and self-doubt. That, in my opinion, is wrong.?

On the other hand, to victimise oneself and not really work hard at fixing a negative situation or shutting ourselves down when we are faced with adverse circumstances, because we do not believe in our responsibility towards our own future, is not right either.?

For me, the right path lies somewhere in the middle. And for me, it is about choice and focus. Based on where I am right now, in life, and how things have progressed, I do believe in the power of my abilities to affect my environment. And more than my material or worldly environment, I'm referring to the environment inside my mind. How I perceive the world around me, how I react or respond to situations and how I create a mind-space that is growth-focused or problem-focused, it all depends on how I visualize my own life.

Hence, FOCUS becomes one of the pillars of creating a wholesome personal & professional experience. The things we choose to focus on, as we progress in life, matters a lot. Based on my experiences, here are five things I’ve realised about focus and manifestation—?

#1 — We can focus on things, people or?ideas?

For a long time, I enjoyed gossip of all kinds. Talking about how people are, how they behave, why they do things in a certain way etc. I loved talking to people about other people. More often than naught all such conversations tend to take a slightly negative tone. (Because why would we speak positively about anyone else)??

If we truly think about how we feel when we talk about someone in a negative manner, with emotions and feelings that spew anger or hatred towards them, we’ll realise that no one but us gets affected by such gossip. Why? Because no one really cares about what we think. In fact, even the people we gossip with might think twice before sharing things with us, in the future.

It's a very personal journey each of us needs to go through to start focusing on 'ideas for growth' and stop discussing the quirks of other people. It is easier said than done. Any workplace situation leads to friction, and emotion. People need to vent and share. Next time we do so, let's try and focus on the actual core of the problem (why we felt what we felt) and not discuss the negative traits of some other individual. Let's share constructively, with a focus on 'mending' issues and not on 'propagating' issues.

#2 — We can focus on material gain and feel short-term excitement

A lot of us focus a lot of our time and mental energy on our next house, next vacation spot, next car, next phone, next weekend and a lot more ‘nexts’. While some form of material gain or outwardly excitement is important for progress, they should not become ‘goals’ for us.

For me, whenever I've focused on any form of material acquisition thinking about how it would give me true happiness, I've been really sad a few days after acquiring it. And then, to fill the void, I'd start focusing on the next 'new' piece of technology thinking about how that would be an amazing thing to own.

Our self worth and happiness cannot be enhanced by focusing on material fulfilment. While a dream house could be an aim, the goal should be love & happiness for ourselves and for our near & dear ones. A house could be a means to achieving that love & happiness. But a house cannot be an end goal. Does that make sense?

#3 — We can focus on our?pain?

Don’t we all enjoy talking about our bad knee or how we have an allergy that can be fatal or how our back is not as strong as it used to be. It makes us feel important somehow, to create this feeling that we are battling something in our physical self.

Yes, it is important to treat our body right and keep it healthy but I'm talking about our need to focus on how some form of (basic) physical pain is preventing us from living our life effectively.

Over time I've realised that it’s better to focus on growth than focus on our pain. A keen focus on pain, and feeling sorry for oneself tends to increase such instances of pain. I’ve had personal experiences where a body part has continued to hurt for a long time just because of my anxiety associated with the injury. It’s absurd but when I focused my mind on wellness, the pain usually disappeared.

#4 — We can focus on how the world was unfair to?us

Another form of the victimisation card that a lot of people enjoy playing is how the world has been unfair, and how luck hasn’t favoured us. How others have seemingly got their wishes fulfilled without making half the effort we made. Or how the boss favours one employee and agrees to everything he or she says. Or how lady luck always seems to be on the side of our arch rivals.?

If we focus on how the world was unfair to us, we’ll see everything with the same lens of distrust. We close ourselves to receiving happiness and love. No no, this is not some random mumbo jumbo about the law of attraction.

It is very tough to get out of this downward spiral of how everything and everyone around us is against us, especially when things have not gone well for us. But it’s very important to fight against these feelings, and let go of this sense of victimisation.

We should try not to focus on the negative or focus on our bad fortune. Deep inside we should also know that (for most of us) no one out there is out to 'get us'. Yes, there will be professional rivalry, and competition but as long as we view it in a healthy, and growth-oriented manner, competition can help us get the best out of ourselves.

#5 — We can focus on being a happy?soul?

I envy people who are truly nice and genuinely love the world around them. There are very few human beings around us who have that innate power. I’ve been fortunate to meet some of these souls. They’re loving, cheerful and happy going that extra mile to make someone else’s dreams come true. These souls are forms of ‘God’ in our lives. We should always respect them, never take them for granted and make sure we also try to be there for them, whenever we can.?

Also, we should try and learn from these souls, and understand where their goodness comes from. Is it a core belief in the overall goodness of humanity or is it the love they genuinely feel for their fellow-beings or is it just a feeling of openness without too many thoughts about what could or what will be??

Whatever be the reason, their focus on being true to their core values surely stands them apart, and stands them ahead of the rest of us. Cheers to all these awesome souls!?

It’s good to focus on being our best selves, tap into the reservoir of strength our core holds and spread happiness wherever we go. That’s the key to a genuinely happy life.?

Yes, we've been made to believe that ‘nice guys finish last’. But that's not the whole truth. No, nice souls who are dumb and too innocent might finish slightly behind cunning & conniving souls who don’t care about the world. Funny thing is, most of the time, even if the cunning souls are 'in front' based on the yardstick defined by society, we'd find that the nice souls are still happier and content with wherever they are. So did they actually finish last?

I’ve seen some genuinely nice people across all walks of life and have found them to be happy souls, no matter what they do, no matter where they are. They are content and peaceful with themselves and the world around them. Yes, nice guys who want to do well have to be a bit intelligent about managing the world around them. Being nice, mature and intelligent will ensure that the nice guys do stay ahead of the game too.

Let’s try to focus on the right things and make ourselves reach some higher % of our potential.

Let’s try to create a ‘magical’ life.?

Cheers!