A Daily Exercise to Grow the Good

By Derek Volkmann, 3.30.2024

Worship pastors, music directors, and team members often get into a cycle where they move in "survival mode" every week, just trying to make it to the next Sunday.?

Let me tell you: You're headed down a road to total exhaustion that is hard to recover from. Trust me, I've been there. But lucky for you, you can change direction, leaving the path of failure and burnout to walk the way of "growing in the good." It involves taking a daily account of your circumstances, joined with your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions.?

My Experience

I went through a bad burnout several years back that led to an 18-month self-imposed sabbatical from anything resembling ministry. I thought by taking time off and resting, I would be in a better spot to serve again. But that year and a half was stagnating.?

On the outside, I had a platter of lucrative options to choose from, regarding my career; I was an audition finalist for the US Air Force Bands, and I was also offered a corporate position in music publishing, which I ultimately chose. One might have thought, "Wow, he really has it together!" But internally, my anxiety, frustration, bitterness, and lack of true humility festered, and I regularly unloaded my negativity onto my friends and family.?

I took to writing my thoughts in a journal, hoping that would lead to breakthrough, but nothing changed. Most of these journals won't see the light of day because of the words I chose to write, and none of it was truly restorative.?

Fast forward to 2020: I began the process of truly recovering from my burnout experience, and it was here that I learned about taking a daily account, or inventory, of my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual states. The program I joined had a structured, measured approach that allowed me to wade deeper and deeper into the murky pool of hurt and to have God renew and equip me to pull the plug and drain that swamp out.?

And today, I want to give you the questions that I've continued to ask myself throughout my recovery to continue to "grow the good" that God began.?

The Daily Account

When I first took accounts of my day, it was mostly reflecting on who or what frustrated me and how I was justified in my position in the situation. In music ministry, this would often come down to other people making mistakes, or overstepping boundaries, or dragging rehearsals out for much longer than needed. There was a lot of mental finger pointing, and the internal arguments would be worked up to the point where I viewed people and circumstances with unfairness and heavy bias.?

That changed when I started digging into questions about feelings aside from anger and frustration, and also how to expose my blind spots through honest reflection. These days, the following questions are what I currently ponder and assess when doing my daily account:

1. Where am I hurting today?

2. How tired am I, physically? ?

3. ?Am I bitter about something today, or feel like I’m owed something from someone? ?

4. ?Did I obsess over anything today, in my work, interactions, relationships, and upcoming engagements? ?

5. Did I experience comfort today? ?

6. What am I grateful for today? ?

7. Was I happy for someone today? ?

8. Do I feel relaxed and rested? ?

9. Was I mindful, thorough, and intentional today, in my work, interactions, relationships, and preparing for upcoming engagements? ?

These questions allow me to process the negatives AND the positives, and by ending with more questions of positive feelings and thoughts, I'm spurred to pursue those more earnestly in the coming days, carrying over into my words and actions.?

The Results

Overall, I've seen progress in my interactions with people in my community and church, wanting to encourage them in their pursuits and offer insight where I can. It's no longer about chasing perfection or an ideal in and of itself. Through this work, I feel an even stronger call to explore other gifts I've not fostered yet, particularly hospitality, welcoming people to our home to enjoy a time of fellowship. (The old me did NOT host very many people—in fact, I would often tragically harumph about not being invited anywhere!)

Even more encouraging is that I feel that sense of peace now that I had searched for when I stepped away from ministry—not from moping, but by putting in work to get to the root of my hurts and trust God to work in "growing the good," no matter how hard the process seemed to be.?

Take some time to work through these questions throughout your week as you press into God's Word and will, while also leading your team and family. Then, review them to see where negative patterns are taking place and what you can do tweak them, while also taking note of the positive patterns, continually pursuing growth in humility, patience, discernment, and empathy.?

Be blessed ?????