Daddy

I WATCHED HIM

I watched him. He didn’t even know it. He’d never be so self-assuming to think that anyone would find it necessary to do so. None of us did not watch him. Not a toddler, a kid, a teenager, a young adult or a middle-aged man. Not a wife, a daughter, a friend or an acquaintance. Not a son (who often thinks he knows everything – only to be proven wrong time and time again until he goes back to emulating him). But we all did. We all watched him. It WAS necessary. He didn’t often say much but when he did, we listened. He didn’t need to say much. Somehow we all knew that if we watched what he did and did the same, our world would be a good world.

I watched him treat his wife as only a VERY good man who truly does know how to love a woman would be able to - He did so. He developed a marriage that few have ever created. He deserved it. I’ve not yet made that happen but I am working towards it. The guidance has been there since my birth.

I watched him gain an improbably deep love from all three of his three little girls who grew to be astonishing women. I fail miserably at times with my daughters because of a lack of patience and calm that he does not possess. Even with that failing, my daughters know that I would do anything for them because I emulate him as best as I am able. I will never reach his mark but my striving to do so makes me a better father than I would be without his guidance by example.

I watched him earn the love of his parents, his siblings and his in-laws. He may have been the baby of the bunch but he was truly respected by all he cared for and he cared for many. I watched him develop absolutely trust-worthy and close relationships with his friends who truly love him. I know I can mention his name to anyone he knows and they will smile and assume that I am a better person than I sometimes am because I am his son.

I watched him with my friends. Many came from similar homes and knew they would be treated with the same respect in his home as they were in theirs. Many did not have the remarkably loving home that he provided for me. He may not have always known it (often I did not until much later in life) but he provided a refuge for them when they were with him. They also became better men by seeing what could be.

I watched the man toil to provide for us in a hard job in one of the hottest and humid cities I’ve ever lived in. Double-shifts, weekend work - seven-days a week at times. When I bitch about a job that I love but can find silly issues with at times – I stop, the moment I think of him. After work he’d deal with what needed to be done to the home, spend all of his time with us and seemingly always be in a pleasant mood. The man provided a beautiful home, private schools, colleges and help after that when it was needed for me and my sisters. I NEVER heard him complain.

I watched him guide his four children to adulthood and then have the grace to let us go and develop the lives we felt we should. Of all the other things I’ve written in this note, I am trying my hardest to emulate that. It is a sign of an unselfish-maturity (an asset that is never innate). He developed it & never deviates.

He continues to be the best father any son could ask for. If my daughters come to feel the love & respect for me at anywhere near the level that I do for my father, I will have lived the life I dream of.

Long ago I gave him a coffee-table book about fathers and sons. I’m not sure of the dedication I wrote verbatim but it was along these lines – “Many men that I know talk about their heroes. Sports stars, politicians, preachers, etc. I met mine on May 28, 1961. The day I was born.”

I watched him. I still do.

I Love You Daddy - Michael