Dad [noun] [dad]: one who provides, protects, inspires, encourages, and loves his children with all his heart-

“Why are you distributing sweets to celebrate the birth of a daughter????”- my father was genuinely perplexed when people asked him this question, when I was born. To him, I am and always will be “his precious gift from God”, as he puts it. 

Growing up, me and my brother were treated the very same- actually, that would be a lie ?? I was given a lot more concessions being “the youngest”- although we were only two. My father was always so affectionate, supportive, patient and encouraging – but never “lowered the bar” just because I was a girl. Be it learning to ride a bike, swim, skate, drive, the early morning Yoga regime at home, graduate, choose professions or any so-called “achievements” in life, if my brother did it, it was a no-brainer that I would do it too and an year or two earlier- again, the advantage of being the younger sibling. 

Years later, looking back I realize what a GREAT influence my father has been on who I have grown to become…….In Dr Meg Meeker’s book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters (2007), she says: “Fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter’s life.” And I couldn’t agree more. 

I woke up on this beautiful Father’s Day and as soon as I finished calling my Dad, I penned down these five life lessons that I have learnt from him and immensely benefitted-

1.      Be the change, you wish to see in the world: you may not be able to break all the norms of society and culture in one day- but the plight of millions of women could be changed if one father at a time, creates a home full of love, encouragement and support for their daughters. It doesn’t matter what the world says or does, these homes grow a generation of strong women with self-esteem, wisdom, empathy, purpose and grace- capable leaders of nations, businesses and our communities. Each father can be the change agent to remove deeply seated and unconscious gender biases in our societies.

2.      The best thing you can give anyone- especially your children- is your time: one of the most valuable lessons I learnt from my father, that has helped me as a working parent is- it is not the quantity of time that you spend with your children (or anyone) that matters. It is the quality. My father was always travelling for business- but me and my brother have such fond memories with our father-going on motor-bike rides, outings to the local circus, playing fiercely competitive cricket matches, climbing trees to pluck juicy mangoes. Whenever he was at home, he was fully present and gave his family, his 100%- that, more than made up for the days he was absent.

3.      The Power of Self-Discipline- For as long as I can remember, I recall my father waking up at 4 a.m. and starting his day with “Shirasaasana”- or the head stand pose in Yoga. If I were to pick a hashtag for my father, the first thing that comes to mind is #noexcuses ?? . Back then, he didn’t make excuses saying he was always travelling and was very busy etc. and today when he can very well afford to sleep-in and “take-it-easy”, he doesn’t make excuses. A life of self-discipline helps us stay healthy, joyful, full of energy and enthusiasm to be of service to our family, co-workers, community and society at large. 

4.      Give Back to Society- Growing up, I always remember my father doing little acts – be it the morning ride to the train station, for his friend with special needs, or paying the local milk-man’s daughter’s education expenses, or teaching English to neighborhood kids who couldn’t afford going to an English-medium school-it taught me a valuable lesson: as you are busy providing for your self and your family, never forget to give back to society- in whatever way you can- every little bit matters. Now that he is “retired”, he runs a non-profit that helps the most vulnerable population groups in India and I know that this has a huge impact on his grandchildren, just as it had on me and my brother. They love to empty their piggy-banks for Grandpa’s “people in need”.

5.      Have a Dream and Give It Everything, You’ve Got-My father left his “plush” job and decided to start his own business- entrepreneurship was in his DNA. As with every business, his had its ups and downs- but what I remember to this day, is the unflinching passion and energy he put into it. This didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy the ride- far from it. “Dreams are not what you see in your sleep, it is the thing which doesn’t let you sleep”- when you are so passionate about something and you give it everything you have got, it no longer becomes a “job” or “work” or “chore”- you look forward to it, every morning with a burning desire in the pit of your stomach. There is no stopping you and your energy becomes infectious.