The dad-joker - an unsung hero

My son came home from school the other day and said: “Hey dad, what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”. I didn’t really hear him. That is, I probably did, but normally when he comes home, he flings his schoolbag in my general direction. He then yells something about food, drink, and the availability of a charged iPad. I try to ignore him because we have a rule in our house that says: “if you are able, you do”. We all have to do some chores individually that we may not enjoy so much, but we do them to enjoy more quality time together as a family. So, my wife and I feel he should be able to empty his bag of lunch boxes, find some food himself and unplug his one and all from the wall socket. Just the parents’ opinion (which is negotiated daily).

Anyway, he just stood there. Not the usual discussion on whether I could help do his chores. Not the argument that I was being unfair because I do it for his brother (who is 2 years old). Eventually, I came around to the fact that he was immovable before my eyes. Stoic. With a huge smirk. Then he repeated the question.

And then the pride came rushing in. Would this be his first dad-joke? Please, please let this be his first dad-joke. “I. Do. Not. Know.” (For the record, I did know but that is beside the point).

“A stick!” – “…. now give me some food and my iPad. Please empty my bag on the way back”. I immediately got into character, untied his shoes, and hung his jacket in the wardrobe. I found a pillow for his neck, a dog for his feet and placed him in my comfy chair with full access to the remote. “Have your pick, son, whatever you want to watch.” I walked away with a straight back thinking “my little boy just grew up”.

I collect dad-jokes, you see. I believe they are the medicine of life and my natural go-to herb that relieves the mind of much strain, pain, and tension. Some people call dad-jokes “stupid” or “dumb”. I think they are anything but that. I think they are clever little devices designed to keep the human mind from imploding when encountering a stressful situation. They give you relief, joy, and the ability to shrug things off that might have seemed heavy earlier. More importantly, they also bring people together and form connections.

I think that the term dad-joke is not really well defined. For me, it is jokes that have no ill intent. They harm no one. If you win a smile, others do not lose one. They are not made to bully or make people feel bad. They tie groups closer and all they want to do is to put you in a better mood than before. They are told by anyone, are not reserved for dads per se and are not gender- or generation specific.

I believe there are 3 different kinds of dad-jokes. I have been fortunate to have had 3 master tellers in my family. I am obviously biased, but I consider all of them experts in each their field;

My grandmother’s brother ?ge loved the one-liners you had to put some thought into to understand. For example, every time he lit his pipe with a match he said: “Niels, is it not wonderful that human kind can create fire like this? I find it quite striking”. Another example would be “Niels, you go to school. Can you tell me what word is spelled wrong in every single dictionary?”

My grandfather, J?rgen, specialised in the jokes that would make you laugh if you took the words literally. When we went to the bakery on Sundays, he would ask the cashier: “I am in a little bit of a predicament. I only have large bills with me. Can you help me split one?”. Then he would produce an A3 photocopy of a 50 kroner bill from his inner pocket. It worked every time.

My father, Hans Peder, liked the straight up jokes that made you smile no matter the mood. Around this time of year, when the dark hours are long and you cannot really dress properly for the weather conditions, he would utter the following without fail: “Niels, cheer up, it will be 16 degrees in the weekend. 7 on Saturday and 9 on Sunday.” Or his all-time favourite “did you know the maximum length of a nose is 11 inches? Otherwise it would be a foot. Imagine if you walked around with a foot in your face.”

I am forever grateful that they spent time cheering me up in each their way when they were here. They taught me that things flow easier with a smile on your face. May they have eternal chuckles and belly laughs in halls full of likeminded people across genders, convictions, and belief systems. I do whatever I can to pass on their teachings wherever I go. Laughter unifies. Fact.

In principle, I don’t have an opinion on whether you find dad-jokes funny or not. (Secretly I think you do, for the record). I do have an opinion on the people telling them, though. For me they are unsung heroes. The ones attempting to cheer an individual up who has a rough patch. The ones solving tense situations by providing smiles all around. The ones moving teams forward by putting themselves out in front and daring to look foolish. The ones trying hard to lighten the mood. They are in every office, and in every team. They are in every family and every group of friends. Cherish them and realise that they only want to make you and your surroundings feel better. They make work and life in general easier.

If you look at the list of Nobel Peace Prize winners, you will soon note that the trophy is granted to one person for solving huge issues for large groups. Dad-jokers are the opposite. It is a large group of people committed to solving smaller issues for an individual. Every day. The deed for me is the same. Doing good for your fellow man.

I think it is time to consider whether dad-jokers deserve some sort of award for keeping humanity sane. Constantly preventing little explosions. Forget the sessions where teams are forced to stand in a circle clapping at some random milestone because they had to think of something that went well this week. Applaud these fun-filled everyday heroes and heroines instead. They make the real difference. I really think the positive impact of dad-jokes is huge – going on immeasurable.

And I, for one, am proud to be passing silly jokes on to the next generation. For me, this means that my kids will be someone who can bring people up when they are down. It also means that they are well underway to finding an important ingredient in the secret sauce of leadership. Productive work gets done where fun happens.

(If you need a smile, stop by my desk. I carry around 1,000 jokes in my bag if I don’t have one readily available for you upon request. Oh, and the word that is spelled wrong in every single dictionary is “wrong”.)