This dad has great dreams for his son, but...
Madhuri Dubey, Ph.D
Strengthening skill education ecosystem with strategic interventions from policy to practice
The drive to the airport on the outer ring road is pretty long and boring in most pitch dark winter morning. Often Rizwan, the cab driver, strikes a conversation, picking up some current news and I would keep listening to him. He has been dropping and picking me up at odd hours; having known him for years, I am well aware of his worries and anxiety about his kids. The eldest daughter was married off early and the younger one is also likely to this year, after completing her degree. Today, he sounded extremely worried about his son - an Engineering student doing his second year, who has taken to food delivery and has lost his interest in studies.
"What to do ma’am he doesn't want to study further and is getting influenced by his friends who want to do some business", Rizwan began how his son is getting distracted with many other things than focusing on college and getting that degree. "What business?", I asked.
"The boys have gone crazy, one of them is doing real-estate marketing, another one is into online brokering and most of them have taken up food delivery, and when son started delivering for .... I was worried. I was scared about how we would drive the bike under pressure from customers for fast delivery, navigating holding a mobile phone in one hand. More than anything, this is not a job! What future does he have without a degree?"
"We need to do well and show people that we are not less than any one! Hum kisise se kum nahin"
?I admired his determination and I really wished he could fulfil his dream of seeing his son make it big in his life. At the same time, I was thinking about his son and how difficult it must be for him to fulfil this dream under such pressure.
I tried to pacify him by saying few things about letting the kids explore things on their own and also gave him some info on Delivery Executive's careers etc. But, that brought in more of why he is strictly against it. "It is against my wishes to see him taking up odd jobs. I want to see him as an Sub Inspector (SI). He should first get his degree by attending the college at any cost and apply for the job. The show down was inevitable. Now, he's become very adamant and refuses to study. He got an Computer Science Engineering seat in a good college on his merit and I was so proud of this then. Education and earning are two different things they should not be mixed...!"
I told him about how highly qualified engineers are taking up jobs that have nothing to do with their degree and how government jobs are so scare and competitive. He wouldn't listen to any of this. He was clear, he didn't want his son to get into any of the non-prestigious jobs. He recalled how he "ended up" being a driver. He regretted how he could not pursue his studies.
His dream for his son was big! But, was it real? I asked myself as I got down the cab and he wanted me to talk to his son once. "Sure" I told him and I look forward to talk to this boy, I would be very keen to know his version of the story and how he wants to be "hum kisise kum naheen"....
What with parental expectations that refuse to understand the child's perception of education and work. Real life stories such as this one are found in almost every family. How do we address such conflicts? My heart goes out for Rizwan who has spent a lot of money to educate his son. However, I feel equally for the son, his idea of a job or being on his own. What about millions of such kids?
#job #education #conflict #parental #expectations
(Name of the driver changed to maintain confidentiality)
Consultant for ERM, BCM, AM, CM, ESG, and M&A
6 年As a founder of National Skills Development, we would expect some good advice and counselling from you.? The father is worried because the son is spoiling his career.? As a father, I know the anguish we parents go through at the slightest deviation the children take from their set path.? Food delivery and running errands are not great professions and these jobs will not enable the young man to be "on his own".? It will give him a temporary relief and financial independence. ?
Director - CSR at GMR VARALAKSHMI FOUNDATION
6 年Connecting the two generations, their expectations and aspirations is a challenge in this new virtual world looking at immediate results and gratification..
Delivery Management I Project Management I Learning and Development I E-Learning I Program Management I Quality Management I Nutritionist I Environment Enthusiast
6 年Yes, stories like this are everywhere not just in families where parents could not study and want their kids to study but also where parents are well educated and want their kids to pursue a career only of their choice as they feel they know better. People have to wake up to the realities and all of us have to do our bit in making people look beyond the traditional job roles and let our kids study and pick a career of their choice.