A dad in the eyes of his little princess

Today is the 4th Sunday in the month of September, the “International Daughter’s Day!”

An anecdote from a couple of decades ago… I was returning after a short business visit to the US. Just glimpsed through a bookstore in JFK airport and the title of this book intrigued me. Picked up a copy and got started right away. I have the habit of annotating while reading, but at that moment I was feeling too lazy to get a pen out of the backpack. Soon enough, however, the book gripped me so much that I was forced to reach out and grab a pen. After a short interruption during boarding formalities I resumed reading. Even a 5-course mega meal on the flight after a long day of work and a couple of glasses of red wine could not put me to sleep. The book had mesmerized me. By the time I reached Bangalore via Mumbai, I had completed the entire 237-page book - introduction and afterword included - and the number of paragraphs that were marked up were just out of proportion compared to my normal ritual of annotation with any other book.?

Reaching Bangalore, I saw my little princess waiting for me at the gate. I took her in my arms as I entered into the living room, dropped my backpack and luggage, and relaxed on the sofa. Tea was ready. As my wife and I caught up with a small conversation over early morning tea, my little princess nestled herself on my lap. A few minutes of silence was broken by the chirping sound of birds in the nearby park. My little princess looked up and discovered a strange look on my face. “Daddy, why are you staring at me like this?” She interrogated. I collected myself from a random string of musings, smiled and said, “Oh! Nothing mama …”

The little princess was my daughter Shilu. Affectionately, I call her mama. Little did she know that I was trying to read in her eyes if she also had in her mind the same 10 secret questions that I had just encountered in the book!

If you have a growing up daughter, ask yourself the following 10 secret questions.

Are you …

1. The most important man in her life??

2. Her hero no. 1??

3. Her first love??

4. The one to teach her humility??

5. The one to protect her and defend her??

6. The one to teach her that she needs to do her part, not just want??

7. The role model of the boy or man you want her to marry?

8. The one to teach her spirituality??

9. The one to teach her how to fight??

10. The one to keep her connected??

Like it or not, the answer to all the above secret questions has to be “yes”. A perfect 10! There are a few questions in life to which there are no alternate answers. These 10 questions are of that type. So you are it. You are the biggest influence in her life. She gives you the authority that she gives to no other man. Your loving little princess is used to the comfort and assurance of growing up under your strong arms. Don’t drop her halfway through. Build her strong.?

What more? She is mentally going to size her boyfriend or husband up against you. All the time. It is scary, but true; growing up your daughter will draw a picture in her mind of how you see her, and that’s the person she’ll want to be. When she receives a prize or a certificate, she won’t even look at the celebrity who would hand out the precious gift to her. Her eyes would always search for you among the audience. Your gentle nod of approval will fire her up. It doesn’t matter to her, who thinks what of her. She’ll seek attention and praise from you anytime, anywhere.?

So all the dads on my LinkedIn network - read the book. Titled “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters”, it is authored by Meg Meeker, a mother and a counsellor of young girls herself.

Was I a good dad before I read the book? “Of course yes daddy … you are always an awesome dad!” – My little princess says. But deep within, I know, I would have been a better dad had I read the book a few years earlier.

The last paragraph of the book is an ever emotional imprint. I have read it multiple times … “One day, when she is grown, something between the two of you will shift. If you have done your job well, she will choose another good man to love her, fight for her, and be intimately connected to her. But he will never replace you in her heart, because you were there first. And that’s the ultimate reward for being a good dad.”?

And each time I read the paragraph my eyes become moist…?

On behalf of all the ‘dads’ to all the ‘daughters’ on my LinkedIn friends network … Happy “Daughter’s Day”!