D36 No. 30. Blurred Lines: Navigating Personal Ties & Professional Agreements
James O'Flanagan, MS, FRSA
Engineer, Educator, & Conservationist Dedicated To Inspiring Future Innovators | MS | FRSA | Top 100 Innovators 2024 | Marquis Who’s Who | ??♂???♀???????????♂???
* Balancing Personal Bonds and Professional Boundaries for Business Success *
By: Jim O'Flanagan & Edi Oapsie
Editor's Note: #QuarryYesMore will continue in the next issue of #Deck36Newsletter. Stay tuned!
Author's Note: In this article, I am credited alongside Edi Oapsie, a Generative AI developed by OAPSIE?Inc. , for editorial support and content generation. Edi has been instrumental in helping me structure and refine the content, ensuring a seamless blend of my personal experiences with professional insights. I have spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars consolidating OAPSIE?Inc. 's engineering & business knowledge base so I could train my AI to think like me. At that I think we've largely succeeded thus far. This collaboration allows for a richer, more nuanced discussion, leveraging advanced AI capabilities to enhance the storytelling and analytical depth of the article.
This article is a result of that collaboration.
For more details on our editorial guidelines and the role of AI in content creation, please visit Oapsie Daisy Editorial Rules.
Thank you for your support as we explore the intersection of technology and human experience in this unique format.
Article Summary - Welcome Back To Deck 36 ???-Letter!
Greetings, Dear Readers of Deck 36, to our little corner of the galaxy inspired by the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D. As we navigate through the stars and stories of our professional and personal journeys, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for joining me on this voyage.
In this edition, we talk about an issue that has been with me for my entire business career: the dynamics of mixing business with personal relationships.
Key Points In This Article
Article Sections
? Author's Note
? Article Summary - Welcome Back To Deck 36!
? Introduction
? Navigating Friendship Pitfalls in Business
? Article Thesis
? The Power of Business Incentives
? Key Lessons
? Final Thoughts: Keeping Business and Friendship Separate
? Errata
Thank you for taking time out of your day to explore these lessons and reflections with me. Your engagement and curiosity make this journey possible for us. Engage!
"I told you, it's never personal, B. Friends is friends. This is business."
-Nino Brown, New Jack City. 1991.
Quote from the movie New Jack City, and the subject of this article.
Music by: Ice T, "New Jack Hustler." 1991.
Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/955055515/66e888bcbd?share=copy
Article Playlist
Introduction
This past 12 months has been at once my best and my most challenging. Taking a kindness approach in business is tough sometimes b/c those close to you, people you trust and whom you've asked to help with your business, often see you as the person they knew before you became a professional. This misalignment can place your business in jeopardy.
At 44, I've had this happen to me enough to recognize these pitfalls. Friends may love you and want you to succeed, but their different motivations and incentives can cause miscommunications, missed meetings, or even shadow projects. Instead of giving you frank feedback, they might spare your feelings, which diminishes any professional project's chances of success.
This is the theme and title of this article was taken from this track. Side note: Does anyone else think that The Masked Singer is totally #Awesome?
Music by: Robin Thicke, T.I., Pharrell Williams, "Blurred Lines." 2013. Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/955056711/060d05ce76?share=copy
Navigating Friendship Pitfalls in Business
Navigating business ventures with friends can present unique challenges that require careful management to maintain both the relationship and the project's success.
Some are:
While these behaviors are often well-intentioned, they can still hinder business progress. Unlike professional colleagues, friends might not always provide the clear and direct communication crucial for business success. In a business context, unmet expectations can quickly become problematic, making it essential to navigate these relationships carefully.
Article Thesis:
From my own humble experience, I recommend avoiding business with friends, if you can. The risks far outweigh the benefits, and the potential damage to both your business and personal relationships is significant if things go badly, and even sometimes when it doesn't.
The Power of Business Incentives
What are Business Incentives?
Simply put, business Incentives are the reason(s) why someone does something in a business setting. Sounds simple. That's because it is. Except when you throw in things like love, friendship, and caring. These personal elements can complicate the straightforward nature of incentives. Sometimes that is a recipe for disaster, especially when professional goals get entangled with personal relationships.
This is the sentiment we are exploring in this article.
In business, and in life, it is natural to seek out friends to help you, since you've spent a lifetime building those relationships. But the incentives are all different, and people's behavior is different as a result.
Music by: Bob Seger, "Like A Rock." 1986. Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/954851316/a077f21726?share=copy
Different Incentives for Friends vs. Business Associates:
While friends are invaluable in providing emotional support and encouragement, their motivations are often not aligned with the harsh realities of business. The best approach is to keep personal relationships and business dealings separate to ensure that all parties are working towards the same financial and strategic goals.
Looking At The Positive Side of Things
On the flip side, when incentives are properly aligned, the results can be outstanding. For example, my third job was running a lemonade stand at the annual Medieval Festival in Streetsboro, OH, held in a big open field where Streetsboro High School now sits. The owner paid us by the hour, but he would send us home if it was slow. So we hustled the lemonade as best we could because the festival was cool, and we could stay and make more money. And so did our boss! The alignment of incentives was clear: the more lemonade we sold, the longer we got to stay and enjoy the festival. This motivated us to maximize our sales and engage enthusiastically with customers, leading to a fun and profitable experience.
Warren Buffett & The Front Page Rule
Warren Buffett, one of my most influential business role models, emphasizes a principle he calls the "Front Page Rule." This simple yet profound guideline advises: don't do anything in business you wouldn't want to see on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper. This principle became particularly significant during Buffett's efforts to clean up Salomon Brothers in the 1990s. At that time, the organization was plagued by years of rule-flouting behavior, and Buffett's emphasis on integrity and transparency was crucial in restoring its reputation.
For more info on Buffett's time at Salomon Brothers:
Link Reference: https://fortune.com/article/warren-buffett-salomon/
While print newspapers may not be as prevalent today, the essence of the Front Page Rule remains incredibly relevant. At OAPSIE?Inc. , we uphold similar values through our network of online newsletters, including this one. Business dealings are public events, and transparency is key. I commit to never mentioning anyone's name in a negative context and will always disguise identifying details unless it’s for positive praise or notable achievements.
Mr. Buffett often notes how good of an investment his Coca-Cola stock is.
Music by: Warren Buffett, "Warren's Ode To Coca-Cola." (2015).
Video Reference: Warren's Ode To Coca-Cola
On a recent business venture with someone I've known for years, my ideas were implemented on a competing site, without my knowledge or permission. This highlights why these principles are so vital. Such behavior would never stand up to the scrutiny of the Front Page Rule and underscores the importance of ethical conduct in business.
Buffett's biography is a must read for any business person.
Amazon Book Reference: https://a.co/d/3RGOHhv
This experience has reinforced my belief in the importance of integrity and transparency. Dealing with personal connections in business can be particularly challenging for many entrepreneurs. Through my experiences, I hope to illustrate the necessity of building business relationships on a foundation of trust and ethical behavior.
By adhering to principles like the Front Page Rule, we can navigate business challenges more successfully and maintain the highest standards of ethical practices. This approach not only fosters a culture of integrity but also ensures that our actions are always aligned with our professional values, helping to build stronger and more trustworthy business relationships.
Charlie Munger on Integrity & Incentives
Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett's long-time partner and a legendary figure in the world of business, championed the importance of understanding incentives and maintaining integrity. Munger, who sadly passed away this year, was known for his sharp insights and unwavering commitment to ethical business practices. His principles align seamlessly with Buffett's Front Page Rule, emphasizing the need for transparency and integrity in all business dealings.
Mr. Munger and his business related zingers are legendary. Here's a whole video of them!
Video Reference: https://youtu.be/xfeHDXb0YXQ?si=a3qTpUXcAxYROw-d
Charlie Munger's Insights Video Reference: Charlie Munger's Wisdom
Munger's perspective on incentives was particularly illuminating. He often spoke about how the right incentives could drive behavior and ensure alignment with organizational goals. However, he was also keenly aware of the dangers of misaligned incentives, which could lead to unethical behavior and conflicts of interest. This understanding is crucial for maintaining integrity within any organization.
The lessons from Munger are clear: integrity and proper incentives are foundational to successful business relationships. This principle is not just about avoiding negative publicity but about building a culture where ethical behavior is the norm, not the exception. When everyone involved understands their roles and is motivated by aligned incentives, the potential for conflicts diminishes significantly.
Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/984333547
By adopting Munger's approach, we can create an environment that prioritizes ethical behavior and transparency. This ensures that personal and professional relationships are managed with integrity, fostering trust and long-term success. My own experiences have shown that when these principles are not adhered to, the consequences can be detrimental, not only to the business but also to personal relationships.
Link Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Munger
Munger’s wisdom extends beyond just understanding incentives; it’s about embedding these principles into the very fabric of your business. This approach ensures that every decision, every action, is guided by a commitment to ethical practices and transparency. As we move forward, let us remember Munger’s invaluable lessons and strive to maintain the highest standards of integrity in all our business dealings.
Reasons Why An Engineer Like Me Gets Into Social Media, Coding Websites, & Building Personal Brands
I've always been fascinated by the idea of telling a company's story. The idea of capturing and sharing moments from a company's story intrigued me. My interest in storytelling naturally extended to learning the ropes of website development. I began exploring platforms like GoDaddy and WordPress, which opened up new avenues for creativity and communication. True social platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook, and TikTok were my next stop.
Believe it or not, I got hooked on this subject by an infomercial on YouTube a few years back from Chance and Abdul. I didn't buy their course, but I took it as a personal challenge to recreate what they and others had done. This drive led me to release the first draft of Stow Mortgage onto the internet in 2019.
My homepage OAPSIE.com followed shortly thereafter.
That is also the same year I began speaking to my friends about implementing this model for "free" in their businesses. I knew a lot of trades professionals, and I thought this approach would work great for any service oriented business like that.
A Semi-Deep Dive into Chance and Abdul
Chance & Abdul at Modern Millionaires were my unofficial entrée into Social Media Marketing. A few years ago, I was rudely interrupted by an infomercial from Chance and Abdul while watching a YouTube video. Since video ads were new to me at the time, I thought I was specifically targeted. I didn't buy their course but took it as a challenge to recreate what they had done. This drive led me to release the first draft of Stow Mortgage onto the internet in 2019.
Chance and Abdul's approach to digital marketing and website development is innovative and inspiring to me. They demonstrated how anyone could leverage the internet to build a successful online presence, emphasizing personal branding and digital tools to reach a wider audience. Their straightforward yet powerful principles—creating value, engaging with your audience, and improving your digital footprint—formed the foundation of my approach to social media and website development.
Link Reference: https://member.themodernmillionaires.com/
While working at a startup company a few years back, I often thought about how our experiences would make for a great story. One evening, while I watched every get drunk at dinner, the conversation was about how good of a reality TV show their company would make.
My first thought:
Who needs a TV show? Just create one. Isn't that what social media is for? To tell stories.
That was a eureka moment for me that I kept to myself.
My in storytelling extended to website development, where I began exploring platforms like GoDaddy and WordPress.
...And me being me, I had dive ALL the way in!
Which I proceed to do over the next several years.
My Analysis of Mortgage Website Market in Northeast Ohio
Here's my detailed assessment of the market:
The mortgage website market in Northeast Ohio is ripe for innovation. It was ripe for innovation when I started this project in 2019, and it is still ripe today. Recognizing this opportunity, I approached a local professional I have known for years with the idea of launching a new mortgage website to capitalize on the untapped potential in the market.
I also spent dollars on web domains in about 2 dozen cities across the United States, with intention to franchise the idea.
Haven't gotten that far with this idea yet, but I definitely still plan to.
If you are interested in a listing of the domains we own, check out this link:
You can see out list of internet properties here.
Link Reference: https://oapsie.com/properties
领英推荐
What Happened
In the local mortgage market, I saw a significant opportunity to elevate the quality of mortgage websites, which were largely subpar in my judgement. I approached a local professional, a long-time friend, with the idea of launching a new mortgage website to capitalize on this untapped potential. They agreed, and we set up a 50/50 joint venture.
Initially, everything seemed promising. Over a period of several months in the Summer of 2023, I developed four prototype versions of the site. Each one was increasingly more specific to the client's specs, but also much less likely to generate revenue or leads. On November 15th, 2023 they told me to wait for feedback from their compliance guy before moving forward. However, they then refused to set up a meeting and barred me from contacting the compliance person directly.
On New Year's Eve 2023, my friend called to emphasize the importance of waiting and ensuring we had a quality internet site. We agreed to table the website discussion for a few more weeks, which I now regret. I strongly suspect that my friend was just humoring me because they enjoyed having me around, which is fine on a personal level but not in a professional context.
Around January 14, we had lunch where my friend specifically instructed that we were not to discuss business during our regular meetings. Their spouse joined us and admonished me about talking business. After lunch, I returned to the office and talked with the spouse for another two hours, where the spouse told me that they would now be handling the project.
Standard business etiquette is to give a clear instructions to someone before they be delegated to someone else. I still have not heard from my partner on that one.
When I informed the spouse about my partner's repeated delays and requested a meeting with the compliance person, they flatly refused. I then directly asked for a meeting with the compliance guy, as my friend had suggested several months earlier. Once again, the request was denied.
To complicate matters, I was instructed to work with two other related parties, one of whom I had never spoken to before. I had never discussed with my friend or their spouse about running my business for me. I don't plan to ever let anyone do that but me.
Additionally, this action caused moderate to severe damage to my business's credibility on Facebook b/c that is where I was promoting that business. Indeed, I had one client ask me afterwards, who knows both my partner and I, why my partner thought that the competing guy was better than me at programming websites.
It was a shocker, to say the least. And not true at all.
Despite my efforts to push the project forward, my friend's continuous delays and refusal to facilitate necessary meetings made it impossible to progress.
So I resolved to proceed as professionally as I could, and end the project myself. I finished the website, deployed it to the internet, packaged the code, wrote a report about it, and delivered it to my partner.
Still waiting for that call back to verify they got the website. Call me any time at (330) 256-1687 or email me at [email protected] if you'd like to talk to me.
This experience highlighted the pitfalls of mixing personal relationships with business, where professional commitments can be overshadowed by personal dynamics and unspoken agendas.
Why I Released Stow Mortgage
After my experience with my partner, I found myself with a significant amount of code and ideas that I had spent a great deal of time and money developing. I couldn't just let all that work go to waste. Despite not having a particular interest in mortgages, I needed to get a return on my investment.
This necessity led me to create my own mortgage marketing company, Stow Mortgage , using the code and concepts I had originally developed for the previous project. It was essential for me to recover the time and resources I had invested.
I have partnered with Rocket Mortgage, and with several local mortgage brokers to have their phones ring when the number for this site is dialed.
You can find out all about Stow Mortgage at their website.
Link Reference: https://stow.mortgage
Birth of A Business
Our revenue-generating strategy began with Stow Mortgage, leveraging the Google AdSense model to create a sustainable income stream. This approach, combined with traditional methods like generating phone calls, has supported our business while making a significant impact on the local community. Local service contractors often lack the time or resources to market themselves effectively, and our strategy fills that gap.
The success of Stow Mortgage has inspired similar strategies for East Rim Trail , Adell Durbin, and Doug's Dinner Bucket Memorial Sites. This section will explore what's next for these ventures and how lessons learned from Stow Mortgage have been instrumental in shaping them.
East Rim Trail is a project close to my heart. It not only uses the Google AdSense model but also aims to generate revenue by driving local engagement and tourism. The trail offers a unique outdoor experience, promoting health, wellness, and community involvement. As we continue to develop and promote East Rim Trail , our goal is to make it a premier destination for nature enthusiasts and adventure seekers.
East Rim Trail also gets in on the #conservation game. It is physically located only a few miles from my house, and Bedford High School , so its interests naturally align with some of our other pro bono efforts.
Link Reference: https://eastrimtrail.com
Stow Mortgage continues to evolve, with plans to expand its offerings and improve user experience. By using the Google AdSense revenue-generating model and focusing on making the telephone ring, we ensure a steady stream of business for our local service contractors. My experience has shown that many local service contractors often lack the time or resources to market themselves effectively, and Stow Mortgage fills that gap efficiently.
Link Reference: https://stow.mortgage/get-started
Adell Durbin is another exciting venture that blends modern revenue models with traditional outreach methods. By generating income through Google AdSense and fostering direct community engagement, Adell Durbin aims to become a vital resource for local events and activities. The focus remains on creating value for users and ensuring that the platform continues to grow and thrive.
Link Reference: https://adelldurbin.com
Doug's Dinner Bucket is all about remembrance. I went to this restaurant for my entire life, and I just learned recently that it closed down. I would like to memorialize Doug's Dinner Bucket with this site, and give people a place to share their own memories.
Link Reference: https://oapsie.com/the-galaxy-of-edi
Link Reference: https://youtube.com/@galaxyofedi1979
As we move forward, each of these projects will continue to develop and innovate, guided by the principles of integrity, transparency, and community focus. By leveraging both cutting-edge technology and traditional business strategies, we aim to create sustainable and impactful ventures.
Thank you for your continued support and interest in our journey. Stay tuned for more updates and exciting developments.
Tips for Balancing Friendship and Business
If you find yourself considering a business venture with a friend, here are some essential safeguards to put in place to protect both your relationship and your business:
It's crucial to have a detailed contract outlining every aspect of the business relationship. This document will serve as a reference point for both parties and help prevent misunderstandings.
When disagreements arise, having an unbiased third party can facilitate resolution and maintain the relationship. This mediator can provide objective insights and help settle disputes fairly.
It's naive to think conflicts won't happen. Having a pre-agreed resolution plan is key to navigating these waters smoothly. This plan should outline how conflicts will be addressed and resolved.
Ensure any friend involved is truly qualified for their role, not just present because of their relationship to you. Assess their skills and ensure they can contribute effectively to the business.
Even if you're not paying them upfront, there's always a cost involved. Be clear about compensations from the start. Understand that every role has a cost, whether it's time, money, or resources.
Establish these safeguards before starting the project. Setting clear expectations and roles from the outset can prevent future conflicts and misunderstandings.
Why Retainers Matter in Business Deals
Business Retainers got their own section in this article so I could highlight how important they are.
Here's the problem: it's hard to ask a friend for a retainer. Unless you're a lawyer, it's non-standard unless you're with a big enough firm to demand it. But it must be done. If you must deal with friends, turn it into a (fair) business deal as soon as you can. That's what the retainer does.
Other interesting & positive things a retainer does for you:
Taking payment aligns their incentives with your own. Without it, you are just a jolly old friend helping out for a few days, which is not the place for a professional to be. A retainer ensures that both parties are committed to the project and that the work will be taken seriously.
If you are going to deal with friends, get a substantial upfront payment or retainer. Lawyers do this to protect their time and ensure commitment from their clients. This practice is valuable for any professional to adopt, especially when working with friends.
Don’t want to waste six months of your time? Be like a lawyer and get that retainer upfront. It’s also a good practice to use with every other client. This upfront payment protects your time and ensures that you are compensated for your efforts from the beginning.
A retainer also sets the tone for a professional relationship, establishing clear boundaries and expectations from the start. It helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that both parties are on the same page regarding the scope of work and commitment required. By securing a retainer, you reinforce the value of your expertise and the importance of maintaining a professional approach, even when dealing with friends.
As The Byrds suggest, sometimes in business, you just have to realize the world keeps turning and move on.
Much like The Byrds recommend, sometimes in business you just have to realize that the world keeps turning, and move on.
Music by: The Byrds, "Turn! Turn! Turn!" 1965.
Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/952820142?share=copy
Final Thoughts: Keeping Business & Friendship Separate
Dealing with friends in business can be difficult. It is often best to avoid it to protect both your professional integrity and personal relationships. Over the years, I have lost friends because of business ventures that didn’t go as planned. Let me explain why.
No matter how qualified or smart you are, to friends, you will always be the person they knew before you became a professional. This perception often leads them to underestimate your expertise and not treat you with the professional respect you deserve. I learned this lesson the hard way, not just with friends but also with family.
In 2020, during the pandemic, the division I was working for at Johnson Matthey was shut down, and everyone was transferred to Savannah, GA. My wife, Becca, and I considered the move but ultimately decided against it. My vending business failed the next year, again due to the pandemic. This experience, plus a few others, reinforced the fact that I could never tolerate being treated as anything less than a professional. Ever.
One of the most challenging aspects of achieving and maintaining sobriety is constantly shifting relationships. Even after becoming sober, some people close to me still treated me as if I were the same person who struggled with addiction. They love and support you emotionally, but they are often not the best people to enter into business with.
Errata
The song "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War is prominently featured in the movie "Dazed and Confused," serving as a musical backdrop to the film's exploration of high school life in the 1970s. The song's theme of seeking harmony and understanding amidst conflict resonates with the film's portrayal of teenage struggles and social dynamics. This connection underscores the film's nostalgic celebration of youth, rebellion, and the quest for friendship and belonging.
It is also my favorite movie of all time, hands down. Highly recommended!
For an article about doing business with friends, I had a few vidz leftover, but still wanted to share. This is one of them.
Music by: War, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" (1975).
Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/955049742/df3c078c3d
You can check out the movie Dazed and Confused here:
And you can find the equally #Awesome soundtrack here:
Link Reference: https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B003SAGU3A?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_UQUpX08VytMfKuR3FkD1lvXHm
Our new cat has been a major source of joy and happiness since our dogs passed away earlier this year. LuLu's playful antics and affectionate nature have brought a renewed sense of warmth and laughter to our home. Whether she's chasing her favorite toy or curling up on our laps, LuLu's presence has been a comforting and delightful addition to our daily lives.
LuLu The Cat goes on a mission to find a place to nap. Don't tell mama, we'll both get in trouble!
Music by: The Sugarhill Gang, "Rapper's Delight." 1980.
Video Reference: https://vimeo.com/954571861
Link Reference: https://www.songkick.com/artists/475045-cars
...and our own Cars' music video:
Music by: The Cars, "My Best Friend's Girlfriend." 1978. Video Reference:
#ProceedAsAProfessional
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??The Galaxy of Edi??
Engineer, Educator, & Conservationist Dedicated To Inspiring Future Innovators | MS | FRSA | Top 100 Innovators 2024 | Marquis Who’s Who | ??♂???♀???????????♂???
2 个月Thanks for the repost R k Siyat ??