The D-Word

I was going to entitle this article "Dyslexia and Me" because, as per, I'm writing about myself (write about what you know right..), and it sort of follows a theme. But "The D-Word" feels more apposite as it captures the slightly dirty feeling that I still associate with being dyslexic. Despite having been able to talk about my dyslexia pretty openly in recent years, I can't help but feel that it's still something I should be ashamed of.

Long story short, I'm clever (and modest right). But I didn't know that until I was about 11 when I moved schools and was put in the top maths set, and on the bottom reading shelf. My previous school didn't stream pupils at all and the only feedback I ever got from them (I felt) was that I was stupid because I couldn't read well, or spell, and had terrible handwriting (still do). This left me with a deeply ingrained sense that I am stupid which I still carry with me today.

At my new school I realised that I was pretty damn good at maths which gave me a huge confidence boost. I also had a wonderful teacher (shout out to Miss Perks) who encouraged me to read more, telling me that I could read Swallows and Amazons when I told her I couldn't possibly because it was too big and the typeface was too small (OK, I probably didn't say typeface). I read the book, took me ages, but I read it. This was a huge step for me as I has literally gone from Topsy and Tim to Swallows and Amazons overnight.

Secondary school was a dream because for the first time I could specialise in things I was good at like maths, science and technology. My reading and comprehension were still slow, but I could hide it (because, you know, clever), so my dyslexia never particularly caused me any problems. I studied maths, physics and chemistry at A-level so, again, no problemo (from a dyslexia point of view). Same for university, Engineering Science, pas de problem.

Four years or so after graduation I decided to become a patent attorney, a profession for which you have to pass some notoriously difficult exams. No problem (thinks I), I've done loads of exams and I know how to pass them. Little did I consider that this was an entirely different ball game, and that now I was going to have to read, and assimilate, a lot of information in a short time window - not my forte.

I did my foundation exams at Queen Mary College, University of London, where I passed with little bother. There was plenty of reading during the course, which I had plenty of time for in my own time, and only essay style questions in the actual exams, so no problem from a reading point of view. Not so in the patent finals where at least four of the eight require a lot of reading and assimilation before writing an answer in an unholy (short) amount of time. Problem...

At the time I had not been professionally diagnosed with dyslexia so had no evidence to submit to the Patent Exam Board (or the JEB as was for the pedants) to get extra time in the exams. I decided to see an educational psychologist to get an assessment and, unsurprisingly, was diagnosed dyslexic, with a very particular weakness in my speed of reading and ability to assimilate written information quickly (hence why it's a specific learning difficulty). She (the psychologist) said to me that I'd most likely been able to compensate for it at school as my high IQ allowed me to perform as well as other students with more average IQs. That's OK for GCSE level, but not for the professional patent exams which are designed for bona fide brainboxes (I should know, everyone I work with is a certified genius).

Happily, the Patent Exam Board offered time compensation in line with English disability laws, and so I sent in my dyslexia diagnosis and got 25% extra time. Smashing. Sadly, the European Patent Office (EPO) were not so helpful offering me use of a computer to answer my questions, but no extra time. Not helpful*. I can write fine - and just about legibly. The computer was not going to read and assimilate the content of the papers for me, so was of zero use. I pointed this out to the EPO to which I got the email reply which was the equivalent of shrugged shoulders and "computer says no".

I was genuinely upset by this as dyslexia by then (2007) was an almost globally recognised condition. But the EPO just seemed to think I would be getting an unfair advantage. I wrote to the Chartered Institute of Patent Attorneys (CIPA) in the UK to ask them to ask their membership to write to the EPO to campaign for change. CIPA duly did so and I got lots of letters of support. However, one well known aged member of the profession wrote to me to say that extra time absolutely should not be given since if you "cannot cut it" in the time allowed, you should not be in the profession (the profession used to be breathtakingly elitist). I was floored, but I'm pleased to say it did not put me off. Nonetheless, it did not encourage me to admit my dyslexia to anyone and I quietly went about using my extra time in the UK exams and struggling through the EPO exams (one of which I had to sit 3 times before passing - lots of reading in that one...)

Today I can "admit" that I'm dyslexic. It started by telling people I knew that I could trust, but even so I could see confusion in their eyes and an unstated "but you're not stupid, or are you....." It took a lot of self-confidence to open myself to that as, deep down, I still wonder if I am stupid and have just managed to hide it from everyone for 20 years or more. All I know for sure is that I feel better for being open an honest about it, and I hope that other people in the dyslexia closet feel that they can come out too.

*Candidates having to sit their professional exams remotely in Covid times I'm sure will agree.