Life on Two Wheels: Thumbs Up & Down About Cycling.

Things I don’t like about Cycling:

You’re practically forced to become an “early-bird” person if you want to do it right: you perform better, the roads are less congested, and races always start at the crack of dawn, probably because they drag on forever. For someone like me, who has always viewed the alarm clock as a nemesis, I set it but then race against it to wake up 5 or 10 minutes early just to turn it off before it rings—waking up early is equivalent to not sleeping at all.

Bibs shorts are useful because they hold everything in place and keep your backside covered. But for us women, they’re a nightmare when nature calls. Lucky men can manage with alternative maneuvers to mark their territory anywhere… which might also explain why 70% of cyclists are men and only 30% are women: they don’t have to stage a full-scale strip-down to take a bathroom break!

Even if someone tried to keep their favorite sport a secret, their tan would spill the beans: only cyclists have those unmistakable white stripes on their arms, legs, ankles, wrists, and hands. It’s not all bad, though—just make sure to apply some tinted body lotion before slipping into a cute dress for a cocktail party. Otherwise, you might as well wear a sign that says, "Cyclist off duty."

I used to think my nice one-bedroom apartment was perfect for a single gal like me. Enter the bike, and now it’s like I’m living in a glorified bike storage unit. The living room? It’s been annexed by the trainer. My clothes and shoes, once neatly arranged by color like Carrie Bradshaw’s in Sex and the City, have been displaced to make room for jerseys. Sure, those feather-light, space-consuming trophies of past rides. And don’t even think about tossing any; we all know the formula: jersey discarded = flat tire guaranteed!

The bike doesn’t clean itself! Why didn’t I just get a cat, which I love, and basically runs on autopilot? No, I had to choose fitness—because clearly, what I needed in life was more chores.

Every ride, whether solo or with a group, is like a therapy session that clears up every work or personal issue I’ve been stewing over. It’s also where I get those brilliant flashes of creativity for my various projects—be it drawing, writing, or event planning. But if I don’t ride, those tangled issues stay tangled, the jerks in my life still seem halfway decent, and my creative output rivals that of a chat with a corporate bot or my dear SAP!

Every visit to the hairdresser is money down the drain because the next day, on goes the helmet, and all that hard work goes up in sweat. Instead, I’ve amassed the complete spring-summer-autumn-winter collection of bandanas, caps, and hair ties. They may not do wonders for my hair, but at least they’re stylish and help prevent the Pogacar effect, also known as "the girl with the tuft".

I’m a Master Sommelier, so savoring wine and spirits is basically my life’s calling. Or at least it was. Now, I’ve forgotten what wine even tastes like. Instead of swirling a glass to release those divine aromas, I’m stuck sniffing energy drinks, analyzing their color and clarity, swirling water bottles, and pairing their contents with energy gels. It’s enough to make anyone cry into their electrolyte mix.

I can’t even plan a vacation without considering the cycling routes. A beach? A hammock? A tropical drink? Sure, as long as there’s a good stretch of road, a hill, or some gnarly switchbacks nearby. Just tell me what time we’ll be riding, and I’m in!

Things I Like About Cycling:

All of the above: lather, rinse, repeat!