CyberBullying
“He is a high achiever,” the teachers echoed after I won the Best Speaker award in the national-level presidential debate. Just two weeks earlier, I had been featured in Genius Magazine for inventing a stove that cooks with batteries. I had excellent grades in school and had won countless math competitions. I was naturally gifted in languages, picking up French and speaking as fluently as Monsieur Sam, our instructor. A year before, I had been made the youngest captain of the volleyball team. I was having the time of my school life; My hard work was paying off, and my parents were proud of me.
Then, I started hearing a few snide comments like “Mr. Perfectionist,” “overachiever,” “know-it-all,” “showoff,” and “success-obsessive.” I brushed them off as jealousy, I had dealt with that all my life anyway. But this time was different; It escalated quickly and terribly.
The next day, a friend sent me a link to a nasty Instagram post from an unidentifiable account, featuring distorted images of me with captions like “The GOAT Perfectionist” and “Mumu Know-it-All.” Schoolmates and strangers commented, reposted, shared, and made jokes about it. I felt sad and confused; I didn’t think I deserved it. I had always been friendly and willing to help anyone with schoolwork.
I thought I had tough skin, so I told myself, as I always do, “I’ve got this.” But I was wrong, I didn’t. I started getting messages from “strangers” cussing me out, sending me memes, and linking to these posts just in case I missed them. At school, people talked about me in every corner. Pictures of me were being indiscriminately taken, and many of my friends distanced themselves from me to avoid being “caught up in the mess.” I felt devastated, angry, and depressed. I tried to keep it together in public, but I often retreated to the bathroom to cry. I started hating school, and of course, my grades began to plummet. I lost all motivation to study and work hard. I didn’t tell my parents; I feared they would worsen my depression and anxiety by involving school authorities or any other body. They noticed changes in my mood and demeanour, but I attributed it to the stress of hard work.
I completely lost it when I saw fake videos of someone posing as me, making arrogant, boastful, and irritating speeches. Chaos erupted; My inbox flooded with curses and hateful messages to the point that I became terrified of going online. I started having suicidal thoughts, dreading the reality of waking up to this nightmare every day. When I could no longer keep it in, I opened up. I told my parents everything, and thankfully, they acted fast. They involved the school authorities, the social media platform, and other investigative bodies. After much effort, the posts were taken down from the internet, and the culprits were sanctioned.
This was eight years ago. Am I totally over it? I don’t think so. After the three-month, 22-day online episode of mental harassment, I was never the same. My grades slightly returned to normal, but that was it. I became an introvert and still am, never wanting the spotlight for any reason. I never participated in competitions or public speaking engagements at the university and avoided appearing too good at anything, even if I was excellent. I abandoned many projects and inventions I was working on when it was time to “show the world.” I am still haunted by the belief that someone, somewhere in the audience, is waiting to be aggrieved by my achievements. So, I don’t shine—to be safe.
I have lost touch with the boy who was afraid of nothing, who could do anything and be everywhere. I suppressed the fear of being exceptional, and little by little, I became non-exceptional. The thought of it sometimes makes me sad, but it feels safer and better this way. I don’t think I will ever completely get over it.
What’s Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying, often linked to physical bullying, is a form of bullying carried out through computers or similar technologies. It occurs when someone uses digital technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or abuse another person.
If the content is not removed, it can last online for years, affecting the reputation or ‘digital footprint’ of the bullied person.[1]
Who can be bullied? Anyone can be bullied for any reason, such as their race, opinion, gender, health conditions, religion, and more.
Means of Cyberbullying
What does Cyberbullying Look Like?
Some content may seem less destructive than others and therefore may be considered not serious, but if the intent is to hurt, it’s serious enough. Cyberbullying can take many forms, including:
Effects of Cyberbully
Like the story above, cyberbullying can have a significant impact on the targeted person's mental health, physical health, and social life.
Those who experience cyber abuse may feel a wide range of emotions, including fear, anxiety, anger, and a sense of hopelessness. They may suffer trauma, and ongoing depression, and feel upset, overwhelmed, embarrassed, scared, or even enraged. While these impacts can sometimes be temporary, in some cases, they can last a long time.[3]
What To Do If You Are Cyberbullied.
The actions to be taken depend on how serious the bullying is.
You may want to ignore it if it’s nothing more than mere jealousy and self-hate, uncouthness, ignorance, immaturity, inexposure, or insensitivity. But, if it seems to be a mission board bully attack, you are advised to:
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Things to screenshot or copy down
? What the content says or shows
? The user profile of the person who sent, posted, or shared it
? The date and time it was sent, posted, or shared
? The name of the site, game or app
? The online address of the page or feed (URL)[4]
3. Report: Report the harmful content to the platform where it was shared, whether it’s a site, game, app, or another platform. This is often the quickest way to have the content removed. If the cyberbullying is severe and the platform doesn’t take action, you can report the abuse to the police. Many democratic countries have cyberbullying laws that can protect you. Authorities may ask for proof of the cyberbullying and evidence that you’ve already reported it to the platform.
4. Prevent Further?Contact Try not to respond or hit back.?People who say hurtful things often do it just to get a reaction, so if you show it worked they may do it again. You can use the in-app functions?to ignore, mute, or block the other person or account. If they bully you from a new online account, mute or block them again.[4]
5. Get More?Help: Cyberbullying is an emotional and mental attack that can lead to a range of unhealthy emotions and even long-term trauma. If you’re a victim, prioritise your mental health. Talk to someone who can help, or seek external support like counselling. Yes, you may recover on your own, but do so in a healthy way and at the right pace.
6. Standing up for Yourself: It’s common to be worried about going online after a bad experience, but you have every right to be there.[5] Reclaim your online space and stand up for yourself. If you don’t want to take extreme measures like sharing your side of the story or confronting the bullies, you could create a safer online environment by curating your media feeds, limiting the amount of time you spend on social media, and engaging in offline activities. Whatever you do, stay socially connected.
Why Are People Cyberbullies
More often than not, there are reasons why people act the way they do. When it comes to cyberbullying, the factors could be psychological, social, or emotional. The reasons for cyberbullying may include, but are not limited to:
Are You A Bystander?
Don’t just be a bystander. If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to get into the mess,” remember that you’re not getting into the mess, you’re saving a life and preserving someone’s mental well-being.
Cyberbullying is very serious, and you could make a huge difference by offering support that is non-judgemental but focuses on the person’s experience and emotions.
Send a message to the person being bullied. Whether they’re your friend or someone you barely know, a few words of support can go a long way. Avoid phrases that might make them feel worse, like ‘You must be so embarrassed’ or ‘I would want to die if I were you’.[6]
Let the person being targeted know they can report online bullying to the social media platform, game or app where it happened. You can also encourage them to see a counsellor.
If you feel like someone is taking things too far online, consider reaching out to them privately to let them know that their behaviour may be causing harm. Maybe they’re just unaware of how they are making the other person feel. You can also consider standing up to them if you feel confident and safe. Make it clear that what they're doing is not cool. It could be as simple as posting a comment that says ‘This is not OK’.[6]”
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