Customer Service Management Training 101 Chapter 4 Excerpt: Communicating Up, Down, Across, In, and Out

Now that you understand your management style, learned about leadership qualities, and created a development plan, it is time to put your skills to use. Many of your job functions depend on how well you communicate. Your communication skills need to be exceptional if you want to stand out as a dynamic leader. Mediocrity will not cut it.

You learned that effective leadership involves getting others to share your vision and goals. You can accomplish that by learning how to communicate well at all times by listening completely,; understanding nonverbal cues,; speaking your best in various situations, from informal conversations to formal presentations;, mastering the art of small talk; learning how to present to an audience; and building strong relationships.

At work, you communicate to your employees, your coworkers, upper management, and also to customers, clients, prospects, vendors, service workers, and perhaps even competitors. When you realize that every one of these people influences your outcomes and ultimately your paycheck, you begin to recognize that how you communicate to them reaps benefits directly to you. Think of it this way: when you treat everyone as though they are your valued customers, you will remember to provide exceptional service by communicating effectively to all people all the time.

Your customers are everyone but you!

When you start viewing everyone as your customers, you become more service minded. You will find ways to communicate in a manner that is helpful and uplifting. When you strive to provide exceptional service to everyone, you actually provide exceptional service to yourself. Compassion, concern, and care for others return to you through strengthened relationships. The end result is that when you give great service through effective communication, others will communicate more effectively with you.

Communication is a give and take exchange that involves a sender and a receiver. When someone is sending a message, whether it is through verbal, written, or nonverbal communication, someone else is receiving the message. As long as the receiver is receptive to the message, it can be received properly. Use an inappropriate tone, a poor choice of words, or body language that is not in sync with your message and the receiver may misinterpret your intent or tune you out completely. By improving your skills, both as the sender and the receiver, you will become a great communicator and increase your chances of managing and leading effectively.

As a manager, you communicate for a variety of reasons. You ask and answer questions, seek and provide information, conduct and attend meetings, interview, negotiate, train, make presentations, and often you communicate informally by making small talk , which offers an opportunity for people to get to know you better. When you develop your communication skills, you will present yourself well no matter the circumstance, no matter the person.

The most important component of communicating is listening. Unless you listen completely, you will not know how to respond appropriately or accurately. When you pay attention to the speaker, refrain from judging, keep your emotions in check, and clarify for understanding before responding, you will show the speaker that his or her message is important to you.

Nonverbal communication makes up a large portion of communication. When you convey a pleasant facial expression, maintain a relaxed and open demeanor, project confidence, and are mindful of your gestures you make it easier for your messages to be understood correctly. Likewise, by paying attention to the speaker’s nonverbal communication, you can better understand the emotions behind the message you are receiving.

When it is your turn to send a message, it is important to remember that once sent a message cannot be taken back. Therefore, it is always prudent to think before you speak. Communicating clearly and precisely, using good grammar, being aware to match your tone to the message, asking questions and responding appropriately, and incorporating powerful, positive words in your message will enhance communication.

In your management role, you have many opportunities to make small talk, and it is an important component of business communication. Whether you are attending a conference, a meeting, a luncheon, a social gathering, or conversing with your employees and coworkers in your workplace, small talk is a big factor in how positively others perceive you. It is often a factor for consideration in promotions. Keeping up to date on current events, understanding which topics are taboo, learning how to pick up on others’ cues, and having the ability to ask and answer questions and relate interesting anecdotes will help you master the art of small talk.

You also have many instances where you will make presentations. You may be asked to train a group of employees, conduct a meeting, or give a formal speech to a large group. Knowing your audience and the purpose of your presentation, developing and preparing your material, and practicing your talk will help you gain confidence and manage your nerves.

Building and maintaining strong relationships is necessary to your career development. You are in a position to form relationships with many people:, including the employees who report to you, your coworkers, your boss, upper management,your employees, your boss, upper management, a mentor, coworkers, vendors, and other outside contacts as well as, and customers. Finding common ground, taking the time to get to know people, being genuinely interested in others, making people feel valued, and being viewed as a good friend help you build and maintain relationships.

STEP 1: Listen Well

Effective managers and leaders know that listening actively and completely is the only way they will hear a message and be able to respond correctly. When you listen, people respond. When you do not listen, people know.

Tune out, tune in. Unless you communicate in a vacuum, it is easy to get sidetracked when there are outside stimuli, such as people coming and going, hearing other people’s conversations, or loud noises that make it difficult to hear, or other confusions. When you tune out distractions and tune in by paying complete attention to the speaker, you are in a better position to hear the correct message. Do not allow your mind and thoughts to stray, but if they do, bring your full attention back to the speaker.

Stay involved. In face-to-face situations, keep your eyes on the speaker. Do not allow your eyes to wander; doing so sends the message that you are more interested in what is going on around you than in the speaker. Similarly, when on the phone, keep your attention on the speaker and do not be looking around. Smile, laugh, show concern, or remain passive, appropriate to the message. If the message is long, show the speaker you are listening actively by nodding from time to time, saying something like “I see,” or asking a question such as “What happened next?”

Keep an open mind. When you are listening, do not interrupt. Remain objective and do not judge or jump to conclusions. Wait until you hear the entire message before making an evaluation. Also, because it is easy to get caught up in the emotions of the speaker, especially if you are personally invested,. kKeep your emotions in check and do not let emotional words or topics cause you to react impulsively or inappropriately.

Check for understanding. When the speaker is finished and before you respond, think about what you heard and make sure you understood the message correctly. Put your critical thinking skills to good use and rephrase the speaker’s main points in your own words or, if you are confused, ask questions to clarify before moving on.

STEP 2: Communicate Well Nonverbally

Effective managers and leaders know that a major part of communicating with others is not what they say, but rather how they look and act. Your body language sends a message; likewise you receive a message through the body language of the person speaking to you. Words and actions do not always match, and it is the actions that convey the emotions behind spoken words. Feelings and emotions are reflected outward and picked up through facial expressions , body movement and posture, gestures, and personal space. Your body language sends a message; likewise, you receive a message through the body language of the person speaking to you.

Watch your facial expressions. Your face can be a snapshot of your attitude and emotions, so make sure your facial expressions match the message. Show happiness, excitement, concern, sadness, shock, or passivity, depending on the message you are sending or receiving. Making eye contact shows that you are interested, so whether you are speaking or listening, use eye contact effectively, but not excessively. A smile communicates into any language and culture and signals warmth, openness, and friendliness, so smile as often as appropriate. When remaining passive, keep a pleasant facial expression that conveys openness and interest.

Watch your body movement and posture. Maintain a relaxed, open demeanor. Stand or sit up straight without appearing rigid, hold your head high, and maintain good posture. Keep your arms in a relaxed position at your sides with your hands open or fold your hands in front of you. When you do these things, you project confidence. Face the person with whom you are communicating to show respect. Also, make sure that when in a group, you do not stand in front of, or block another person from seeing the speaker.

Watch your gestures. Gestures can enhance communication by adding interest and expressiveness, as long as they are not used excessively or exaggeratedly. When gesturing with your hands, allow your gestures to flow naturally. When gestures are too exaggerated, people will focus more on your movements than on what you are saying.

Watch your space. Every person has a personal “space,”, the distance they feel comfortable in relationship to nearness to others. Stand too close and you invade another’s space and can make them feel uncomfortable or threatened. Stand too far away and you may appear distant and unapproachable. As a rule, two feet apart is an average distance for personal space. Pay attention to the body language of the person with whom you are communicating. That will tell you whether you are too close or far away.

STEP 3: Speak Well

Effective managers and leaders know that every time they speak, whether it is a formal presentation or an informal chat with an employee, people pay close attention to what they have to say and how they say it. You are in control of the conversation, as long as what you are saying is receptive to listeners. How you deliver a message is critical to being understood correctly and communicating effectively.

Think before you speak. There is no communication rule more important to remember than to think first, then speak. Words are like arrows: once spoken, they take flight and cannot be taken back. Say the wrong words and you can cause someone to feel hurt, angry, upset, disheartened, or confused….. Always opt for words that are uplifting and show that you value and respect others. If you feel it will help you communicate more effectively, write down key points that you want to include in your message. Before sharing any information, check your information for accuracy. And never ever gossip.

Be specific. When sending a message, opt for the fewest and easiest words possible to get your message across correctly and completely. Speak clearly and precisely. When delivering a long message, pay attention to make sure your listener is staying with you. If not, stop and rephrase what you are saying or ask a clarifying question before proceeding.

Use good grammar. Always practice good grammar, whether you are at work or outside of work. Choose yes rather than yeah. Drop clichés and other overused phrases from your vocabulary. Profanity may be offensive, so make it a habit to never use these words, ever. Your listener may not understand jargon, slang, text shortcuts, or technical terms, so stick with conventional language.

Ask good questions. Use open- ended questions when you need to gather information and closed questions when you need additional information or to clarify answers. When listening to a person’s reply, keep an open mind and make sure you are on the same page before proceeding. If you need to ask a series of questions, explain why you are doing so to help the other person be receptive. If it will help, prepare your questions in advance.

Incorporate positive words. Use powerful, positive words whenever you can, such as: Absolutely; Yes; I’ll be happy to; Let’s try it; Sounds great… you get the idea. When you need someone to do something, it always comes across more positively when you ask rather than tell: Will you? rather than You will. When suggesting a person do something, say you could rather than you should. Remember basic courtesies: please, thank you, you’re welcome, I’m sorry. And when you know a person’s name, use it during the conversation: I’ll be happy to do that, Janet.

Time your message. Analyze the situation before launching into a conversation. Now might not be the right time. And if it is not, your message will either be ill received or not received at all. If you are unsure, ask the person if it is a good time to talk. If not, schedule a time when it will be.

STEP 4: Learn the Art of Small Talk

Effective managers and leaders know that small talk, or informal conversation, is critically important in their job. Small talk is used to break the ice with people you do not know, to start conversations when you are in unfamiliar settings, to get to know someone, or to fill time. When you learn how to use small talk to your advantage you come across as a confident, interesting person.

Stick to safe topics. Generally, weather, current events, sports, entertainment, and shared commonalities are safe topics. Definitely off limits are inquiring about or sharing overly personal information, religion, and politics. By keeping up on current events you will always have topics to begin a conversations.

Be prepared with a few conversation-starter questions. Always be prepared with some safe topic questions that you can use to open a conversation. What did you think about that game last night? Have you seen the movie ___? How long have you worked here? How do you know Cathy? When you ask a conversation-starter question, listen closely to the answer so that you can keep the conversation going. No matter what, do not get involved in any heated debates. Be mindful of the person with whom you are speaking and steer away or change the topic when emotions get heated.

Be prepared to share something about yourself. If you are attending an event, such as a conference or a business social event, look at these gatherings as public relations opportunities. Think of ways to promote yourself and your accomplishments without coming across as arrogant or boastful. Relating a personal work- related anecdote is a great ice breaker that may also be a lead in for sharing your accomplishments. For example, You wouldn’t believe the call I received from a new client yesterday.... Consider that people want to get to know you so think of questions others might ask and how you will respond. When possible, respond with more than one or a couple words. Answer in a way that will keep the conversation going.

Practice before the event. Whenever you attend an event with people you do not know, view the event as an opportunity to get to know others and for them to get to know you. Having a conversation with yourself may seem silly but it will help you feel more comfortable. Ask questions, relate something interesting about yourself, and respond to likely questions. Always use positive words when practicing small talk and remember to visualize yourself interacting well with others.

Relax and be yourself. By preparing and practicing before any event (even if the event is walking into a meeting you frequently attend) you will gain confidence to use small talk to your advantage and you will be viewed as a warm, friendly, interesting person to whom others gravitate. Be the first to say hello. Be the first to ask a question. Knowing yourself, preparing, and practicing will help you increase your comfort level in any small talk situation.

STEP 5: Learn the Art of Delivering a Presentations

Effective managers and leaders know how to come across positively and confidently when delivering a presentations. But let’s face it: most people dread the thought of giving a formal presentation. Conducting a training session with your employees may leave you feeling as terrified as delivering a speech to a large group of strangers.

Know your audience. Who will you be presenting to? Once you identify your target audience, you will be able to create an effective, meaningful presentation. What is the purpose of the presentation? Think about your presentation from your audience’s perspective. What do you want your audience to gain from your presentation?

Prepare your material. Now that you have identified your audience and purpose, you can begin to organize your thoughts. Research your topic until you are satisfied that you have sufficient information on your topic. This will give you the confidence to come across as a well-informed expert. Create an outline of the main points you want to cover in your presentation. Talk through it your presentation to make sure your outline flows logically from point to point. Edit until you are comfortable with the format of your presentation. When you are satisfied with your basic outline, think of some stories, anecdotes, and examples to interject throughout your presentation to make it more appealing and interesting to your listeners. In particular, you want to immediately draw your audience in so create a powerful opening. Likewise, you want your audience to remember your speech so create a powerful closing.

Practice your presentation. The more you practice the more comfortable you will feel with your material. The more comfortable you feel with your material, the more confident you will be delivering your presentation. Confidence is a powerful tool, when it comes to presentations because your audience will feel your positive energy. When you practice, make good use of your outline and notes but do not memorize your speech. Practice varying your tone, inflection, pitch, and speed. Tape yourself to hear how you sound. When you are satisfied with how you sound, practice in a mirror and pay attention to your body language and facial expressions. Practice making eye contact, switching your gaze from one person to another in a pace that is comfortable, not staged.

Look good. Before the presentation, select an outfit that you will feel comfortable wearing and make sure it is clean, pressed, and has “no strings attached, .” meaning that hems and other seams are in good repair. Check your shoes to make sure they are shined and in good condition. Before your presentation, check yourself carefully in the mirror to make sure you look your best. When you know you look good, you will feel good.

Manage your pre-presentation nerves. Practice may not make perfect, but it will help you gain confidence and feel more assured. Still, it is completely normal to feel nervous before delivering a presentation. Once you learn how to channel your nervousness into positive energy you will welcome the pre-speech jitters. Take slow, deep breaths before you begin. Remind yourself of the importance of the material you are presenting. As you speak, focus on the members of the audience and the material you are presenting rather than on yourself.

Engage the group. Try to involve the audience by asking a question where they can call out answers. This can be done at the beginning of your presentation or during your talk. If your presentation is lengthy, schedule frequent short breaks frequently, even if it is a quick stand and stretch break. Stay on time track by using your notes and outline but also be aware mindful of your audience and whether they are staying with you. Find the balance between speaking so slowly that people become bored, or so quickly that your audience does not have time to process what you are saying. The most important thing to remember whenever you present material is to make it a positive, fun experience, both for you and for your audience.

STEP 6: Maintain Strong Relationships

Effective managers and leaders know that when they communicate effectively, they can develop close relationships. In your management position, you have opportunities to develop relationships with the employees who report to you, your coworkers, your boss, upper management, a mentor, coworkers, and outside contacts as well as, and customers. You already know you cannot do it alone; you need to get others on your side to get the job done. When you take the time to cultivate relationships, you will never be alone.

Find common ground. The first step in building a relationship is to find something you share in common with another person. Use the skills you learned in mastering the art of small talk to establish a rapport by smiling, asking a question, sharing something about yourself, and being receptive and open. When you find something you share in common, you can begin to build on that commonality to start developing a relationship.

Be genuinely interested in others. When you are invest the time to get to know someone, you show that you are interested. Being friendly and open, listening well, picking up on the other person’s emotions, and responding appropriately indicates that you are interested. When you are truly interested in someone, you demonstrate that you are willing to invest the time and energy to develop a relationship.

Make people feel valued. Think about the type of people you enjoy spending time with;: most likely they are people who build you up, rather than wear you down. In the beginning of this chapter, you read that your customers are everyone but you. When you form this mindset you will stay service focused. When you stay service focused you look for ways to make other people’s lives better. Always try to instill positive feelings in others and show that you appreciate and value them.

Be a good friend. Friends stay true. They are honest and trustworthy. They are dependable. They are sensitive and respectful of other people’s feelings and situations. They step up, pitch in, and help out—without being asked. They believe in their friends and do what they can to make their lives better. Sometimes they just offer an ear or a shoulder and nothing more. They appreciate their friends. They forgive them when they do something wrong. When you think about these qualities, you can apply them to any relationship, whether it is a personal or a work acquaintance.

Strengthen relationships. All relationships require continual maintenance. If you do not work to strengthen your relationships, you run the risk of taking others for granted. When you do that the other person may feel resentful, unappreciated, and communication may break down. So to keep your relationships strong, always focus on common ground, stay genuinely interested, make the other person feel valued, and be a good friend.

excerpt from Customer Service Management Training 101, available on amazon.com