Cussing or Cursing, what are you doing?!?

I am of two minds when speaking about the oratory power of the words you speak. The blessings and the pain that comes from your lips can be the most impressionable love or a lifelong childhood terror that looms into your adulthood with he same efficacy! So, when the lover becomes the scorned, what is it that you do, to help with the needed healing...using words?

Cussing...the use of a profane or vulgar word(s) to relay a sentiment or emotion. This word still tickles me when I hear the crackling, yet firey voice of a Septuagenarian speaking about how they spoke to an ornery co-worker over lunch; "...I cussed that sucka out...he betta not mess wit me...". This word always makes me laugh, on site; the very meaning that it conjures and the slang that it is, makes this Lexophile blush with glee!!

Cussing, like sarcasm, is the poor mans arguament as it relates to an oratory prowess. Its the weaker defense in discussions. As my Nana would say, "...don't raise your voice raise your argument...cussing is not necessary...". She would say this especially if she heard a woman cussing at someone. She believed that "...the mouth of a woman should be as soft as her hands and equally as useful...". This wisdom was a deliberate effort to make every girl she met, into a Lady by the time they were a mature adult! Equally, it spoke to the design and desire of conforming the newly 'independent' women, back into the Godly-submissive women that were the backbone of the house and the family, years ago. Well...whatever it is that she did, it worked on this little girl! Cussing (in my mind) became a defiled use of vernacular and something I see as a true repulsion of your given language!

BUT...Cursing? Boy...this is truly a horse of a different color!

Using the spiritual side of this argument, Cursing is the intention and effort made to hurt or harm someone or to purposely hinder the spiritual walk or humanistic ways of another, by negative spiritual or empathic intentions.

This...along with the hurt and pain that surrounds actual intentions, can set up a world of hurt that can last as long as a moment or can trape along a myriad of generations of come. Curses are like colds...you can't get one unless there is a contagion. This means there has to be a source of the curse, that comes from a pain, hurt or loss. This malice of ill-intentions, lets on that you have to dwell in it, to be effected by it. This gives great source of the statement, "You have to believe in it, for it to effect you". Although not necessarily true, this statement carries weight for those that are either in denial or don't believe in the power (and intention) of great negativity.

As I mentioned that there is power in your words, the power that comes from them speaks life and death on others. As we (also) mentioned, this power is formed for a day or a decade. Rightfully so, the intention and then words of a person can be compelled onto you as quick as a slander can circulate throughout the choir loft! That s because the words (and the person speaking them) have power. We all do! The point it to use the power for good...not bad, but you can definitely curse others (and yourself) through your words.

Here's an example...

A man and a woman meet, fall in love and set a date to marry. The date comes and goes because they are on-again, off-again in this relationship. Volatile more times than loving, this couple cannot get down the aisle to save their life. They try pre-marital counseling, relationship therapy, sought gurus, met with mentors, sat in on a few 'couple social groups', even tried individual mediation...the works!!! Still...no luck getting to the altar. So, one day, clearly in desperation, she seeks to 'go inside' to see what is ailing her and this intention to marry. Why are they fighting...why are we not successful in this...why are we not making a way to betterment?!? She asks the tough questions and readies herself for the storm of answers that are to follow.

She wouldn't have long to wait.

While speaking with a few Elders, one of them told her something that would change her mind forever!!! One of the Elders said, "..baby, either he is not for you or you two are cursed..". At first thinking, the young lover said to herself, "that was a silly old wives saying", but she began to think about the 'cursed' part for awhile. She said that there was resentment, fear and lack that swooned through her family from as long back as she can remember. She said she can remember stories of her Great Grand Mother speaking of infidelity with her Great Grand Father! Her Grand Mother spoke to days "running in the streets" and lost her marriage because of her "free spirit". Her Mother, now has married and divorced numerous times and never "got it right". Likewise she had a few Sisters that had a number of "Baby-Daddies" and a plethora of nieces and nephews that "had no name" (as the old folks would say). So what is she to do if clearly the family cannot get it right!

She decided to be the one to break the curse of the family. She told him of the many curses that you can have over your life and lineage. Here are just a few...

1. Self Imposed Curses - low minded thinking in expressing a pain, hurt, hate or when "giving up". This is the anger of an unrequited love that makes say things like, "...Im not doing this anymore..." and then we wonder why no one comes your way, calls you up or finds you attractive any more. This is power that speaks to saying that you are not good enough. You speak to yourself as you speak to others, only you use words on yourself, that are more powerful than you think. This "stinkin' thinkin'" masks a very low, self-effaced view of your circumstance. You are not the sum of your mistakes so stop vibrating a permanent thought about a fleeting situation.
2. Generational Curses - As we mentioned in the story, this is when there is a legacy of people that think like you. As ailments can be hereditary, so can thinking. Lets look at this in a different way. While in the Medicial field, I have heard women say, "Im big because my Mother is big" or "I have high blood pressure, because everyone in my family has HBP". So when I ask, "...so, do your children have HBP?" they say, no. I retort, "well you said that everyone in your family has it, so why isn't your children complaining of headaches or or taking meds?" They sit there stunned a bit, before answering (emphatically)... "well I dont know". Well, some may believe that HBP is hereditary, but I dont. As I just proved this with he children that come from women and men of HBP...this is a lifestyle illness that is curable and preventable. Without going into the medical (allopathic) allowances about the ailment and cure, I can say that the human body is a self cleansing and clearing organism that is programmed to seek homeostasis (healthy status) of being, naturally. So it seeks the "high road" for you, without your help...you just have to arm it with the tools that help maintain it. So with HBP, its not the illness, its the behaviors that bring on the ailment. Here's what I mean. If you take a newborn, with genetic traits (parental history) of HBP and give it the fresh fruits, fiber, veggies and the required external needs of sun, fresh air and exercise (and yes newborns can exercise) you will notice that the Newborn will grow and develop as a healthy, normal child. Now, if you, the person with HBP, begins to feed the child the same food you ate (that consequently your Mother, Grand Mother and Great Grand Mother ate) denied them the external needs and never considered a better diet for them, you will have a child that will grow to have HBP! Its that simple. You have to do something different to get something different. You cannot be generations that eat the same, seek the easy road in exercise and expect something different to arise out of that child. Like Sickle Cell, you could have the trait for HBP, but never developed the ailment. You can also be raised to be different and thus break that generational curse of HBP in your lineage forever. Go ahead, try it for yourself and see...
3. Spoken Curses - any negative word spoken about or at a person with feeling - especially feelings of hatred, disappointment or resentment. This is a huge one! I have known Mothers that are jealous of their daughters speak words over their girl-child in a few ways. One, which is very personal to me, was when my very own mother (when talking about something I did wrong) would say, "...Well, it figures...but I tried to flush her...". That was so hurtful. When I was about 11 and realized what she was really saying about trying to abort me, everything else about my life with her reflected that intentional "flushing" that never ended. By the time I was 13 I realized that I had to leave her house because that curse was not going to become the life-excuse I tell, as an adult. Likewise there are other Mothers that spoke in anger, saying, "Oooo, sometimes, I wish you would just die". Hearing that from the mother of a childhood friend. I knew that I wasn't the only one, but knew there was better for us BOTH. Spoken Curses can formulate through anger, hurt or pain, but its the intention to speak that fury into words, that makes that curse resonate. Remember the Univese, Spirit, whatever you want to call it, wants to do your will. It's situated and ordained to give you what you ask for and wants to be the answer you speak. So being the person of betterment, it's always great to speak good curses on people....like "Oooo, sometimes I wish you would move out and make it on your own and get out of my house..." Now, had my Mother said that to me, I would have been self-made, a long time ago! That's the truth!
4. Unspoken Curses - the thoughts and imaginations expressed in lazy, evil speaking, sets into the unconscious mind. That supernatural power, binds both the sender and receiver. Now this one is the "two-faced-harlot" that I see waaaayyy too many times! This is the fake girlfriend that smiles in your face and then as soon as you leave, they are speaking about you as nastily as they spoke about the last person you two were talking about. This is the "Josie-Gossip" that you know is bad business but you keep hanging around her. You will say to your (other) friends, "Girl dont mind Josie, she's just like that" knowing that Josie will have something negative to say about them as soon as they walk away. Josie is famous for saying things like, "Oh, that's your friend...mmmm...well what's up with those shoes she got on, Gurl". In sheer amazement, you reply, "...what are you talking about, there is nothing wrong with those shoes?" She quips, "Well, Im just saying...". Saying what? More importantly, why are you still the friend of someone that can cut someone down like that, and so quickly? Its sad that you have gotten so used to that unspoken curse that you have accepted it as who she is! That's both sad and shameful. That unspoken curse has sucked you into a friendship with Josie-gossip, for so long, that you dont know how to get out of it. She is so negative and hurtful that sometimes you stay just so she wont have anything to say negative about you. Likewise, you have probably given her all your private thoughts and secrets that if you were to leave her, your first kiss to the last (married) man you slept with, would be a 'recent feed' on her Facebook page! Its that fear, that is the unspoken curse. That deeply subconscious attachment that blurs the lines of fear and loyalty (oooo I like that one, fear or loyalty...I think that will be my next post...Yummy!) You dont know if you are a loyal friend dealing with a fear you have or you are loyally fearful of your friend. That's a tough one and one that has to answered without any denial!

Ok...well that's a wrap for now! I gotta begin to work on vibrating the next post... Fear or Loyalty...this one will open a few wounds on my end so I think I will rip that bandaid off, a bit slow!

Chao Bella!