Curve of Change: The 5 Stages of Grief and the Covid-19 Pandemic (English Version)

It's amazing to see the models we learn in theoretical classes reflected in reality!

The 5 Stages of Grief model was created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist whose work focused on terminally ill patients. In 1969 she wrote "On Death and Dying" where she introduced the 5 Stages of Grief based on her studies and experience. It is true that we have suggestions for new stages from other professionals, but the Kübler-Ross model is valuable for understanding the Curve of Change.

Although Kübler-Ross' work was developed on bereavement for terminally ill patients, her work and model can also be applied to people who are experiencing other types of bereavement, which can be due to the loss of a job, a sudden change in life, accidents...

The 5 Stages of Mourning take place as described below (in a very summarized and simplified version that does not intend at any time to take the place of fellow psychologists and psychiatrists):

• Denial: This is the stage where we don't want to accept the impending change. Denial is an attempt to escape from reality and a refusal to face the new proposed scenario, works as a defense mechanism against bad situations. After all, we don't like to experience discomfort and difficulty.
• Anger: We are not always able to deny and escape situations and at that moment the denial "turns" into anger. It is time for our frustration with the proposed scenario to be exposed to the fullest and lead us to explore an extreme level of behavior. Maybe it's time to slam some doors, scream and have harsher answers.
• Bargaining: Denial and anger are not enough to deal with an undesired situation, at which point bargaining kicks in and opens the windows to our vulnerability. It is the stage where we understand that change is going to happen and we want to "buy" or "negotiate" to regain control over events or explain why something is happening, an attempt to justify and lighten the burden.
• Depression: despite the name "bad vibes", it is the moment of greatest connection with change, where we think about what happened and what will happen in the future. It's time to face our grief or challenge head-on and let things happen. It's a dangerous stage where we have a fine line between understanding the change and facing reality or actually facing depression, sadness and all its effects.
• Acceptance: Acceptance is the overcoming or the moment to be "reborn" after the change. The new scenario is established, what remains is to accept the situation and events and see the light at the end of the tunnel, the joy of dawn and the new chance that is given to us every day.

As we face the Covid-19 pandemic - which has eased but still kills and reflects its "post-covid" effects - we can clearly see the 5 stages unfolding, whether for those who lost their loved ones and family and/or those who had to face unemployment, uncertainty, hunger and many other problems.

At the beginning of the pandemic, although there were already indications that the disease would unfold on a global scale, many chose to deny the existence of the disease and its potential. Yes, this is not one of the strongest viruses humanity has ever seen, but its effects on the global economy, human behavior and health cannot be ignored.

Ahhhh the anger... This one accompanied us for a long part of the process. The anger at staying at home, the anger at having to wear a mask and use hand sanitizer, the anger at not being able to see family and friends, the anger at the global mismanagement of the virus that opened the doors to our limitation and smallness...

The bargain was our ace up our sleeve. We bargain with the forms of treatment and prevention, with the invisible rules of our society, about who is essential or not and who could spend the pandemic doing origami and learning French and who would have no choice but to fight without weapons, without money and without opportunity.

Depression took many people by the way and came accompanied by its friends: anxiety crises and panic syndrome. Unfortunately, many still feel the remnants of this stage. The bright side was being able to see the necessary changes and our inability to deal effectively with global crises. It was also the time to remember those who passed away and those who lost everything (or almost everything).

Acceptance is coming, - with few apologies from the rulers of this world, it's true - but it directs us to understand what happened and what we can do to be better, in addition to the gains we can take from such a sad situation. The remote and hybrid work, the flexibility to our shifts, the appreciation of family and friends, the hugs in the loved ones, the attempt to build a slightly better world...

I must admit, I don't know if we learned so much after all, considering the war between Russia and Ukraine and all the others that are dragged into the conflict and its direct and indirect impacts. Maybe we can still stop this cycle of mourning major crises and focus on improvement and future joy.

This was an outburst, a tribute and random thoughts of someone living a lot of complicated things in a period of 2 to 3 years.