The Curse of Perfection

Striving for perfection is a good thing, isn’t it?

The definition of perfection is a condition or state of being as free as possible from flaws and defects.? That sounds like a good thing, but the desire to never show a flaw may shift how you think about new or challenging situations that you have no experience with.? But people often forget to learn something new you have to be willing to not get it right every time.

Anyone who’s worked with their child on reading, sees this process in action.? Where do they start?? With simple words, simple sentences.? Then they move up to longer sentences with pictures to help navigate them when they’re stuck on a word.? And finally, they graduate to pages full of words with their imagination to guide them.? How often when a child is reading a book and gets to a word they don’t know, they look at the letters, think about a word that has similar letters and then take a guess at the word.? Most.? Why?? Because children know they’re learning, and they aren’t afraid to take a shot at something to keep moving along through the story.

When we get older, the risk of taking a shot, being in learning mode and applying the best of what we know and keeping it moving forward oftentimes creates a cringe worthy response.? The dreaded fear of not looking like the best, smartest, most capable person in the room.? And when you step into a new role, this happens more often than people would like to admit.? Many adults are not wired to be in a learning mode, many are more comfortable in expert mode.? There’s value and comfort in being an expert.? Knowing everything with no surprises.

This often plays out when it comes to a simple fact as to how women and men view job descriptions.? Studies show that when men check 60% of the qualifications of a job, they’ll apply and many times get the promotion.? For most women, that number is very different.? Women often want 100% of the qualifications before applying for a new role, and 73% of women lack the confidence to apply for a role where they aren’t completely qualified.

Over time, when you have two people looking at a role and one applies before they are ready, assuming they’ll learn on the job and one is waiting until they are completely ready, could that be a factor into why the gap in women leaders starts to move from a 50/50 split at the entry level and a 25/75 split at the top.

Now before you say that it’s not all women's’ fault in the gap – and I agree.? Moving up in a corporate environment requires things beyond the skill set and experience.? Sponsorship is key to moving up in your career and women are more often to have mentors and less likely to have a sponsor.? A mentor is a person who listens, challenges and asks questions to help you work through situations.? Sponsors go out to other leaders in the company and advocate for you for a position or promotion, kicking in the door that you can walk through.? Only 32% of women receive the recognition and support they need from a sponsor to move them to the next level in the organization.

Research also shares that women are 30% less likely to be called for a job interview with the same qualifications as men.? Why is that?? It could be an underlying bias that goes along with a female candidate that has the same skills as a man.? You can picture the questions the potential interviewer is asking.? Do they have kids?? Will they need more time off?? Are they fully committed?? Will they do what it takes to get the job done?? The funny thing is those same questions should be important no matter the gender of the applicant.? Do you really care the gender of the person you’re interviewing if they say they aren’t committed?

If you are a manager responsible for recruiting, hiring and developing people on your team, here are three ideas you can apply to think differently about onboarding and creating a great environment for both men and women on your team.

Set Recruiting & Hiring Expectations

Any talented woman will tell you they never want to be hired because of their gender.? But if you are receiving candidates to interview and they all look the same, there may be a challenge with your recruiting.? Consider setting expectations that you want people who have done the role, who could be capable of doing the role, who have done a similar experience and ensure you are casting a wide net with different advertising and job posting outside of your normal zip codes.

Ask Developmental Questions of Your Team

Ask, ask, ask and never assume when it comes to your team.? If you have a position and have a talented player and the position is not in their wheelhouse, consider asking them if they would be interested and share the why behind your question.? Maybe it’s in a different area, but could give them management experience.? Maybe it provides front-facing experience when they’ve worked mostly behind the scenes.? Simply asking women if they may be interested in an opportunity, could greatly increase the mix of men and women in management and leadership roles at your organization.

Sponsor Talent, Don’t Simply Mentor

When you are in the room and someone talks about an open position or project opportunity, are you looking at your team and not only talking to your team member, but also talking to the person hiring for that position to open the door a crack or all the way.? If you’ve developed that talent for your organization, consider doing more that coaching and place that talent throughout your company to grow and develop - and the surprising thing is that if you are known as a manager that develops and finds opportunities for those on your team, you will be the place where top talent wants to go and often stay.

To answer the question I started with - no perfection is not a bad thing, but it’s also as rare as a unicorn.? Focusing on attaining perfection to eliminate risk, uncomfortable situations or fear, that’s going to prevent you from trying something new, growing and developing.? Every leader will tell you they might have prepared as much as they could for a role, but also had to grow into it.? Leaders are always learning and it’s about striving to add value, grow, develop and learn to benefit your organization and engage in your work.? Leave the strive for perfection, take a chance and see what might happen.