The Curse of Comparison

Pick up any newspaper or magazine & the chances are that your eyes will immediately be confronted with messages on "how to get a better this" or "how to have more of that". Money, relationships, career & health are just some of the subjects where this is rife. 

Subconsciously, we are being programmed to believe that we need to aspire to be look like & behave like these people.  That's what marketing's all about right? Clever messaging that persuades us to purchase a product or service that takes us one step closer to the holy  grail.

As a marketing guy I've played my part in this process.  I know how it works; what words to use & in what order; how to use a headline to grab attention & how to turn this attention into action.

However, as a consumer I also recognise that I have a responsibility to myself. One that ensures that I maintain a healthy attitude towards the messages that my eyes & ears receive via offline & online media.  As someone in early middle age, I've reached a point in my life where I know what's good for my mind & body & what's not. 

If I was a teenager or in my twenties in today's 24*7 Online World, this probably wouldn't be the case. While everyone matures at different rates, I know that I would have been more open to influence based on the sheer volume of messages that I'm bombarded with.

Peer pressure also plays a huge part as you are developing.  Back in my childhood & teenage years this was largely limited to face to face interactions. Today, it plays out through social media.  Kids are constantly comparing themselves with others; commenting on "imperfections" & even bullying those who aren't seen as "fitting in" with social norms.

Psychologically, this can be really harmful.  It can take many years for each of us to develop a clear identity.  One that is based on discovering our own values & beliefs, not forced on us by others.  

"The curse of comparison" is rife in our world today.  The temptation to compare ourselves to someone or something else is enormous.  This is a shallow way of measuring our success in life.

It only takes a few taps on our smartphone to move from a place of blissful calm to one of uncertainty & angst.  The trigger point being the ad that has just popped up in your Facebook or Twitter feed.  It taps into some fear, doubt or uncertainty that is buried in your sub-conscious. 

We become more human by spending more time with our-self not by copying someone else. Our brains have received a lot of bad programming through our exposure to advertising in all its guises.   

If you aren't already, it's worth taking time to reflect on the impact that this bad programming is having on the decisions that you make. 

Advertising & Social Media aren't going away. They serve a purpose that on balance as more upside than downside.  What we can do is make better choices about how & when we engage with media.  Just because its on 24*7 doesn't mean we need to engage with it 24*7.  

I appreciate that this isn't easy when our smartphone is our constant companion. Nonetheless, there are options that we can use to control the volume of messages that we receive & how we react to them.  Here's a few ideas that are worth testing:

• Don't take your smartphone and/or tablet to bed with you.  This removes the temptation to check e-mails & surf websites
• Turn off social media & game app notifications on your smartphone and/or tablet.  These notifications can be hugely distracting as our eyes are drawn to them as soon as they appear on the screen. Unless you have huge willpower, it's really difficult not to tap on the notification to discover more.
• Measure how much time you are  spending on your smartphone & exactly what you are doing. Offtime offers a handy app for iPhone & Android devices that analyses your daily activity & provides a simple dashboard that displays the results.
• Reduce the amount of time you spend checking e-mails by using Imboxpause.com.  Using this handy widget you can preset the amount of time you want to stop e-mails arriving in your inbox. 

There are only so many things that we can control in our lives.  By making some smart choices about the things that we pay attention to & the things that we don't, we'll all feel a little bit more content with life.