The current system isn't built to support women like me to succeed in senior roles

I’ve heard it one too many times from women that the higher up they go on the career ladder the more they start to doubt themselves, their abilities and just feel like an imposter that just doesn’t belong. Too many organisations are fixated on meeting diversity targets that they fail to recognise the damage they cause these women who haven’t been provided with any support or a sense of belonging so they can continue to thrive. The current system isn’t set up for women like me to succeed and if it doesn’t change, organisations will continue to lose incredible talent that play a contribution to their success.

I can’t tell you how resilient most of these women I’ve spoken to are, overcoming so many barriers and obstacles to get to where they are. However, there comes a point when even these women become exhausted because despite them working hard to get to where they are, they still are made to feel like an imposter and someone that just doesn’t belong. A conversation with an incredible woman, who wears so many hats, a woman, woman of colour, South Asian Woman, Mother, Muslim, an entrepreneur, a senior leader spoke with me about how “she just doesn’t fit in”. The higher up the career ladder she climbed, she began to feel more and more like an outsider. Whilst speaking to her, she told me she was at peace with the fact that the system isn’t built to support women like us and that it makes her sad because she wanted to be the one that paved the way for others but doesn’t feel like she has it in her to fight when she herself doesn’t feel a sense of belonging. Whilst telling me this, she began to tear up and I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a lump in my throat because it started to sound all to familiar to me.

A coaching client of mine of similar background, a Senior Manager within her respective field, said to me she wanted us to focus on her confidence because for some reason every time she is in a meeting with senior leaders, she gets nervous and starts to doubt her ability despite her knowing her stuff. This really bugged her because she said she was never like this and was someone that was full of confidence but over the years that has begun to diminish and she doesn’t want that as she knows in her role, she must display confidence. Before we worked on building her confidence, I asked her to focus on where she’d felt like she had lost her confidence by writing down all the incidents or moments that started making her feel this way. It wasn’t surprising to me at all, that majority of her examples had to either do with the fact that she was a woman, woman of colour or because of her ethnicity. She told me she felt sad doing this exercise because she realised, despite doubting herself so much, she was never the problem. Instead, it was the environment around her that made her feel this way. Again, a familiarity for me. It started to remind me of my 21 year old, no nonsense self who was always authentic but as she climbed up the ladder, the comments “Oh, I wouldn’t say that if I was you”, “Yes, I know its not fair but you don’t want to rock the boat”, “try and be more professional when you’re in front of that senior leader”, “you do realise you’re just a tick box”, “you seemed to think you’re the finished product”, “I wouldn’t tell people that about yourself” collectively began to make me hide more and more into a shell.

An article shared by the HBR, titled Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome (see below reference for article) discusses how the concept of imposter syndrome which was originally founded by two Psychologists Pauline and Suzanne in 1978, found that despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience imposter syndrome carry on believing that they are not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise. However, what is not explored enough is what causes women to feel like they are imposters and fuels to them into thinking they are not good enough. The impact of systemic racism, classism, racism, and other biases were absent when the concept of imposter syndrome was developed. Many groups were excluded from the study, particularly women of colour, those from various socio-economic backgrounds, genders, and professional backgrounds. Research has shown as men progress within their careers, their feelings of doubt usually decline as their work and intelligence are validated over time. They’re able to find?those who are like them, and rarely does anyone question their competence, contributions, or leadership style. Women experience the opposite. Rarely are they invited to a women’s career development conference where a session on “overcoming imposter syndrome” is not on the agenda. Even if women demonstrate strength, ambition, and resilience, their daily battles with microaggressions, especially expectations and assumptions formed by stereotypes and racism, often push them down. Imposter syndrome as a concept fails to capture this dynamic and puts the onus on women to deal with the effects.

Growing up I didn’t have the privileges of having parents who were educated, my mum barely speaks English (who by the way is a complete badass because she managed to raise us siblings up in a country where she didn’t speak the language, had zero support from my dad because he used to work 16-20 hours a day), my dad was bullied at school for being one of the only two brown kids at school, therefore left and started working from a young age and built a business for himself in a country which was foreign to him back then. Despite their resilience, they couldn’t teach me how to navigate in the workplace, what to do to get ahead, I had to figure all that out on my own whilst trying to fit in. I thought I fitted in but what I realised was, that in order to fit in I had changed a lot about me and because of that, internally I began doubt myself and would always be nervous when surrounded by senior leaders. It took for me to leave the system, to step back and realise I don’t have to change who I am or anything about me in order to thrive. It is in fact these exact unique characteristics about me which draw people towards working with me.

Do I think all organisations or people are out there to make women who look like me feel this way about themselves and cause them a lot of mental stress, probably not? But what I do believe is that the current system isn’t set up to support us and that needs to change. If the women of colour currently sitting at the table is the only one in that position, what are you doing to support her? Does she have a mentor in the senior leadership team that can support her and give her guidance? Does she have a clear training and development plan? Despite her being in her senior role, she still requires a plan of progression. Is her voice being amplified during c-suite meetings? Are her contributions valued and taken into consideration? Are you really allowing her to be her authentic self or does that come with conditions? Usually, they do!

Too many women end up leaving their jobs, stay in lower positions or take a demotion because the stress of trying to fit in just isn’t worth it for them. Organisations don’t need a business case for DE&I anymore but if we don’t address the issues we have at hand, organisations will continue to lose out.

Are you doing your bit to support women, particularly women of colour in feeling a sense of belonging as they continue to rise through the ranks?

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References: https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome#:~:text=Imposter%20syndrome%20is%20loosely%20defined,they're%20deserving%20of%20accolades