Curious Thought - Kindness is Takes Strength

I have noticed something over the years: the assumption that someone who is loud, assertive, and aggressive inherently draws a firmer line in the sand. I have not found a correlation between the two.

Some of the best classroom managers I know are kindergarten teachers who greet their students with a warm smile and somehow make everyone they meet feel important. Yet, if you pay attention, expectations are clearly set, and when a student misbehaves, they know it. They deliver it with love and kindness, but they don’t tolerate misbehavior.

I've known administrators whose reputations are such that people say you don’t want to cross them. Yet, if you pay close attention to who is addressing problems and calling people on the carpet, you find a different story. The quiet, friendly manager turns out to be the one telling people they aren’t a good fit for the organization.

Being introverted or extroverted doesn’t make you a better leader. Being shy or aggressive isn’t the same as drawing a firm line in the sand. Put simply, the real question is: are expectations clearly set, enforced, and does the person take action?

You see, being loud, critical, or even mean can make people feel for a short period like you run a tight ship. Yet you still find people passing along work to a more diligent employee. You find mediocre work that is just enough to avoid attention. Problems hide from view but persist because they are never addressed.

Being kind and listening involves taking the time to really hear people. Having the courage to act with understanding takes resolve. You can tell an employee with respect they will be reprimanded if they are late to work again. By being kind, you can learn an employee is struggling with daycare and with understanding give them an extra five minutes to get to work while still requiring punctuality.

The thing about kindness and compassion is you learn to truly understand. You realize when a performance issue is because someone just lost a loved one. You realize that a persistent conflict exists between two employees because one is organized and the other seems to leave a mess wherever they go.

Because you understand, you can find solutions. You can repair bridges and expect excellence because you make it possible. Demanding, shouting, and demeaning others can give someone control or a false sense of power. It rarely finds the root of the problem because such tactics never take the time to care about that root. As long as they got what they wanted.

Before you decide someone is weak because they smile and take the time to listen to your concerns, take a closer look. Being loud and demanding doesn’t mean a high standard is being kept. Taking the time to listen and then act requires resilience and patience. It isn’t a path of quick results and immediate change. Even though the results aren’t quick, kindness and compassion produce a far greater and lasting impact. Looks closer to truly see strength in one’s character.

#BeKind #CuriousThought #EdLeader #SchoolLeader #BeBraveAndBeKind