Be Curious, not Judgmental.

I was watching the widely acclaimed 'Ted Lasso' , and while there was a whole lot that was pretty amazing about this show, this article is about the one scene that deeply resonated with me. Ted Lasso(played by the amazing Jason Sudekis) challenges the former owner of his football team, to a game of darts-in the hope of saving his friend, and current boss from constant embarrassment. He eventually goes on to win this game, when no one expected him to. While hitting the bulls eye, he tells a story, about how folks underestimated and belittled him his entire life. He could never figure out why, but it used to really upset him. Up until, he saw this quote by Walt Whitman painted on the wall that said, "Be curious, not judgmental". That is when it struck him that all those years, the people who underestimated him did not know him, or even cared enough to find out more about who he was. Because, if they did, they'd approach him with curiosity-about what made him who he was, instead of judging and belittling him, for what was just their perception of him.

?It is ironic for me to share this on LinkedIn, or any form of social media-to be fair, where judging people by what they choose to share, or not share, has become the norm. But if we were to apply Walt Whitman's advice here, and to every other aspect of our lives, it could help us become better leaders, and maybe, just maybe-better humans.

The way I look at it, this equation has people on both sides. People dishing out the judgement, and people on the receiving end of it. And all of us, have been on both sides of this equation. Here's my two cents on helping make this a better equation all up :)

?To the people who find themselves being judgmental, more often than not-First off, no judgement. We have all been there. And we can all do better. We judge people with what we hear and see in a professional setting, their highlight reel on social media, or from what we hear from other folks around us. In most cases, we have a very small window into their lives, their journey-with very little understanding of what makes them who they are. But yet,?so many of us claim we can predict what their journeys could have been and where it will go next. These claims miss the context of the struggles this person has overcome, the challenges this person might still be grappling with-invisible to the world, but very real, very consuming to this person's existence. But life has a knack of both throwing curveballs at us, and eventually putting things back in order. In the end people hardly ever remember your professional milestones, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Be kind to people, be curious, take the time to learn about who they are-not just what they do, and you'll have enriched both your life and theirs.

?To the people who find themselves weighed down by the fear of judgement . You, and only you, can manage your inner chi. There will always be people (like Rupert from the Ted Lasso instance) who-without having the slightest clue of your true journey, your superpowers, your experience, will judge and demoralize you. If there is constructive feedback buried deep within that judgement, try to wean it out. Feedback is always a gift, but don’t let yourself be damaged by their sense of judgement. It doesn't define you. There is a tremendous amount of peace and happiness in store for people who let their inner self evolve, grow and be nurtured with knowledge, health and good relationships- ultimately leading to what Robert Waldinger in his ted talk calls out a good life :)