The curious case on structural integrity....in my apartment.

By Stephen W. Ayers. September 2016.

In all the places I have lived, both apartments and houses, I have had bountiful access to fresh air. Except here in Toronto Canada.

This is the saga of my unsuccessful attempt to add access to fresh air to my apartment……you can laugh but I cry!

The apartment boasts a relatively spacious balcony that faces south. The apartment is a corner apartment that faces south and west and is on the tenth floor. Apart from the balcony door, there are two vents in both the master bedroom and the second bedroom. These are each about two feet in length and have an opening of about one inch along the length covered in mesh against insects and dirt.

That is the sum total of my fresh air possibilities.

I love fresh air, even in the long and cold winter months. During that time I cannot open the balcony door as there will be too much icy wind entering the place. There are no small vents that I can open a tad in the living room, so I open and close the balcony door….hardly a good or practical exercise, except maybe some exercise itself.

So, I determined to add a couple of extra vents to the living room, under the window, as in the bedrooms. These I could ‘regulate’ at will to allow for fresh air to be constantly, yes you heard me, constantly available for me to breathe.

I rang some glaziers but no help there. I rang my condo management who furnished me with the telephone number of the company that built the condo building. I rang them and they gave me the number of the company that installed the windows in my building.

I rang them and was told that I had to have the OK of the condo management company to do anything to the windows. I rang the management company back again who told me that that was ok, but I need a letter from the company to say they would install the extra vents.

I rang the company back but they got cold feet and said no, they could not fulfill my dream of additional fresh air. I rang the management back. Ok, they said, we will allow for you to find an independent glazier who is willing to do the job.

Light at the end of the tunnel? WRONG!

I found one but he needed me to find the original vents and purchase them prior to his replacement.

I went after the company that built the condo building yet again to try and source the manufacturer of the original vents. They gave me the number and here I was, jumping up and down for joy in anticipation of my coming victory!

Now, you have to understand that the above took me almost four months of ‘Sherlock’ style sleuthing to arrive at the threshold of a huge victory for fresh air lovers. I was pleased with myself, even trying to pat myself on the back multiple times in my joy!

In ecstasy now, I called the condo manager back to inform them that I had found the manufacturer and wanted to inform them that my life was about to be transformed by installing two new vents in my salon.

“Wait,” said the manager, “Don’t count your chickens….”

“Why not?” I asked, sensing defeat in the air.

“Because I will send you an email with the conditions that need to be met before you can go ahead.” Was the answer.

I patiently waited for the email to be announced on my inbox. What were a few minutes in a project that had taken so many months?

Finally it arrived. Everything seemed good until I came to the ‘brick wall’.

“Before you go ahead with the installation of new vents, you must first present the management company with a letter from the installer that the work to be done, along with the two vents, will not ENDANGER the structural integrity of the building”

Now that is the biggest and most blatant CYA operation ever undertaken by a condo building Management Company.

After banging my head on the walls of my stuffy apartment to calm the rage, and after contemplating smashing the glass to get to fresh air, I laughed out loud……and long.

I admitted defeat and declared total surrender, arms up high. I did however, lower them enough to write an email to the management company to alleviate my fury….nothing more.

In it I raised the logical point that of the many buildings I had witnessed being built, they first built them with holes for when the windows would be installed……….AFTER construction.

If the building started to sag I would lift it up while the glazier installed the vents, said I. No luck, my quest for access to fresh air vents was over. Period.

What can I say after all this? Windows seem to have gone the way of the Dinosaurs; they are extinct in Canadian high rises.

When the first building collapses due to windows being installed after construction, then, and only then, will I believe that email!

Now excuse me please, I need to go to my balcony for some fresh air!