The curious case of Mental Health at work

The conversation around Mental health started out as an urban legend - Spoken about in hushed whispers, uncomfortable silences and shifty eye-contact. It was prickly, uneasy and downright overwhelming at the start, to discuss a topic so unknown and yet so intimate.

As more people began contributing to the discussion, it became a very tangible reality of our society - One that was bound to permeate the workplace sooner or later. The working world is now faced with the responsibility to not just educate themselves about Mental well-being, but also ensure they contribute to maintain it - A task that becomes insurmountable when there is very little empathy surrounding it. But something has to be done - To reduce the stigma, normalize the need for help & break these mental barriers - NOW!

Creating a Safe Space:

Before we begin praising or bashing organizations for the things they do or don't do, we must all realize that building a safe space is an incremental activity - It builds on individual contribution which is then furthered along by organizational support. There is also a common misconception that a 'safe space' implies we have professionals on board who can listen & counsel unwell individuals. But a safe space can also be a feeling, a vibe - a sense of security that has nothing to do with the physical space at all. Let's ask ourselves - How open are we to have a discussion on an uncomfortable topic with a colleague? Don't we still look at mental illness as 'something that happened to someone else, not to me'?

Speaking Up:

When one of the popular Bollywood actors died by suicide in 2020, social media was filled with implores from people to 'just speak up' to 'reach out' & to 'not suffer in silence'. I appreciate the intent - I really do - But how have we succeeded in offloading the ENTIRE responsibility of asking for help, to the person who is suffering? Why don't we realize that we have a part to play here too?

Fun Fact: How media outlets report death by suicide has a huge impact on how it is perceived by the rest of the country & even the world - #ResponsibleReporting provides guidance on how to talk about sensitive topics like this in public. Something that we all can take a few pointers from!

Quick Read: Get Help doesn't cut it - How to actually help someone with a Mental illness.

The Pandemic angle:

Of course the pandemic had an impact on the whole world - Not just physically, but mentally too. It affected each of us differently, but none of us were prepared for it - Not even 'remotely' (pun intended). But we got no choice - We had to suck it up and make the best of the situation. Because everyone's reaction to social distancing was so different, this collective experience has blossomed so many different narratives - All of them valid & all of them equally important. We have always been very selective with our empathy - We are deeply sympathetic of a widow/widower and think it is natural that they might succumb to depression; but we scorn at Gen Z when they talk about their anxiety and panic attacks because we think 'What have they got to be so uptight about?'. It's time for us to hold our horses and realize the power and importance that comes from a lived experience even if it does not match our own.

Barely Minimum

In recent conversations about how the lockdowns impacted different segments of society, it has become evident that some sections are suffering more than others. It's very easy to pat yourself on the back when you organize a 'Friday Fun' session on Zoom to help your team 'de-stress'. It might work for some in the team, it might worsen the situation for some others. Are you keeping in mind the employee who has moved to their hometown to isolate with a joint family - have you enquired if they feel overwhelmed & claustrophobic at times and if they would just like to take a break from all the Zoom?

Selective empathy does not cut it anymore - Period. How long are we going to do the bare minimum and feel good about it? Sharing a seasonal message on social media about how 'Mental health matters' should not be what we aspire for. Let's ask ourselves, is there more that we can do? How can we contribute to this conversation more? Mind you, I'm not asking for grand gestures of any sorts - But can we move a little beyond the bare minimum and challenge ourselves?

Be better, Do better

We talk, we debate, we have round table discussions about mental health and why it matters at the workplace. But have we ever thought about what would we do, if someone approaches us with a mental health need? In most situations, one of two things happens:

1. Home remediation - 'Oh, but have you tried not thinking so much?' 'My distant relative had the same problem, they did XYZ and became alright in a few weeks' and the most dreaded ' It's all in your mind, don't pay too much attention to it'.

Let's not do this - Trivializing someone else's experience goes to show how insensitive we can be towards others, even when our intentions are the best. It's not always bad to offer advice, but take a minute to understand if its unsolicited, maybe?

2. Scooby Dooby, Don't - 'Since when have you been having these thoughts?', 'Did something happen?' 'Did you get dumped?' or 'Is this because you did not get promoted/get a pay raise?' and the classic 'There must be some reason behind this, what troubles do you have?'

The person who has approached you may not really be looking for your expertise in finding the reason behind their mental illness - Unless they explicitly tell you so. A lot of times it's hard to wrap our heads around the fact that Mental illness does not need a devastating tragedy as the root cause - Most times it's difficult to find the reason why it happens. So let's not get sleuthing but just be there in any capacity we can.

'But doesn't it get complicated in the workplace?' you may wonder. 'What if an employee reporting to me wants to speak about their mental health - What do I do then?' A lot of the advice that is given out in general is still applicable even at the workplace. Some phrases that help are:

• Thank You for sharing with me.
• I may not understand fully what you are going through but I am willing to listen.
• I'm really sorry that you are going through this - I'm here to provide support if you need it.
• What can I do to help you at this moment?
• That must have been very stressful to go through - I'm here to listen and provide support the best that I can.

But before all else, it's important to start with empathy - For our own selves. We will not always get it right when it comes to mental health - neither our own nor someone else's. But what matters is if we are always willing to learn and do better. It does not need to be too personal or extra cautious - Just needs to be genuine. No one is expecting us to wave a magical wand and fix the situation, but we must at least make an effort to acknowledge it and evolve ourselves to be better for each other.

What are your go to tools to preserve mental health? How have you been an ally for mental wellbeing within your own teams/workplaces? Do share in the comments below!