The Curious Case of EQ: When High Performance Falls Flat

Are you a High Performance or a High Potential Player?

I was probably considered the quintessential high performer in my corporate days—consistently hitting KPIs, always 'on the ball' with hard work, and the go-to person for delivering results. Yet, despite all this, promotions remained as elusive as ever.

The real gut punch came when my manager, with a smile that could cut glass, said, "You're excellent at your current role, but we don't see you as ready for the next level."

Excuse me, what?

That single line hit harder than any missed target or brutal feedback ever had. It was like being told, "You’re great, but not that great." It made me question everything. If high performance wasn't the golden ticket to career growth, what was?

This led me down the rabbit hole of understanding the not-so-subtle difference between being a high performer and being seen as high potential.

So, What’s the Difference?

High Performers are the corporate workhorses—the ones who get sh*t done. They’re reliable, consistent, and often the ‘safe pair of hands’ for critical tasks. They’re experts at executing the playbook, but rarely are they asked to write it.

High Potentials, however, play a different game altogether. These are the folks not just hitting their goals but also showing the kind of mindset, adaptability, and leadership vibes that make decision-makers take notice. They're the ones getting tapped on the shoulder for stretch roles and advanced development programs—opportunities that aren’t just handed out to everyone.

According to Gartner, a leading global research and advisory firm - high-potential employees (HiPos) aren’t just good at their jobs—they demonstrate ability, engagement, and, most importantly, the aspiration to take on senior, critical roles. These folks aren’t just ‘crushing it’ today; they’re primed to handle tomorrow’s challenges with finesse.

The difference is stark: High performance is about delivering results now. High potential is about showing up in ways that scream, "I’m ready for the next big thing." It’s not just what you do—it’s how you do it, who you bring along, and how you make people feel along the way.

Over the last 12 years...

I've had the privilege of working with both high performance and high potential teams through my speaking, training, and coaching engagements with multinational companies.

Whether in boardrooms, training sessions, or one-on-one coaching, I’ve seen consistent patterns emerge—clear as day—between those who simply perform and those who are poised for the next opportunity.

a.???? Busy Working vs. Making Space to Be Free: High performers are often head-down, plowing through tasks. High potentials know when to lift their heads, take a breath, and create space for strategic thinking.

b.??? Talking to 'Important' People vs. Being Open to Everyone: High performers network selectively, focusing on who can help them right now. High potentials understand that the best insights often come from unexpected places—and people.

c.???? "I Already Know This" vs. "What Will Take Me From Good to Great?" High performers stick to their strengths. High potentials are relentless in learning and evolving.

d.??? Self-Success vs. Supporting Others’ Success: High performers are driven by their own achievements. High potentials are equally invested in the success of their peers and teams.

e.???? Delivering Results vs. Inspiring Through Presence: High performers hit targets and impress with results. High potentials inspire through their character and vision, embodying leadership qualities that motivate others, blending competence with character.

So, take a moment to assess: Are you solely a high performer, or are you cultivating the qualities that signify high potential?

The shift from high performance to high potential isn't just about achieving; it's about character, adaptability, and a proactive approach to growth—qualities often underpinned by the skills within EQ.

Beat up the Batter and Bring in Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

And before you go all criminal eye-rollie on me, I get it—EQ has been mentioned to death. It's the quinoa of the corporate world—everyone talks about it, but not everyone really gets it.

But stick with me. I promise this won’t be some intangible mush of whipped-up potatoes. Instead, let’s get real about what EQ is not and what it actually is, so we’re all clear on why it matters more than ever.

Myth #1: EQ Is About Being Nice & Accommodating

Reality: EQ isn’t about being a corporate doormat. It’s not about nodding along or sugar-coating the truth. High EQ individuals are capable of tough conversations, setting boundaries, and delivering feedback without leaving a trail of emotional meltdowns. It’s not just about keeping the peace—it’s about living in your truth, even when the truth feels like a gut punch.

Myth #2: EQ Requires Suppressing Difficult Emotions

Reality: Suppressing emotions isn’t emotional intelligence—it’s emotional constipation. EQ is not about putting on a brave face while your insides are doing the spin twist. Instead, it’s about acknowledging those emotions, understanding their triggers, and choosing thoughtful responses over knee-jerk reactions. The power is in the processing.

Myth #3: EQ Is All About Using Emotions and Nothing Else

Reality: Sure, emotions are a big part of EQ, but it’s not all feelings all the time. Hella No! It’s about balancing emotions with logic—bringing your head, heart and gut to the table. It’s knowing when to dial up the empathy and when to lay down the facts. It’s not ‘go with the flow’ (that’s so 80s)? - it’s more like like piecing together your own patterns while having compassion for the complexities of others.

EQ is essentially: The ability to effectively use your Thinking and Feeling to make appropriate decisions at the right time, right place, with the right reason and the right person.

It isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’ skill. It’s the backbone of influence—whether you’re guiding a team through change or closing a deal with a hesitant client.

Here's are some statistics should you still be sceptical (But why!):

? Companies led by emotionally intelligent leaders enjoy 87% employee retention versus a mere 53% for those with EQ-deficient management

? Leaders with high EQ can boost team performance by up to 20%, driving significant productivity gains.

? 71% of employers value high Emotional Intelligence over technical skills

How EQ (or the Lack of It) Shows Up in Leaders

Ok - we’ve busted a few myths about Emotional Intelligence (EQ), we've quoted the facts, but now let’s bring this down to ground level—where leadership lives and breathes. Because nothing reveals EQ (or its glaring absence) quite like the everyday behaviours of leaders.

Spot the Difference in some leadership examples here:

Number One:

?? Low EQ: Glued to their phones—because nothing says “I’m present” like having to respond to every ping, email, and message with immediacy. Bonus points if it’s during a 1:1 with a team member.

? High EQ: Be intentional with devices. You decide when to peep at your phone rather than letting the 'Ping!' control you. Your presence makes people feel like they’re the only ones in the room—because, to you, they are.

Number Two:

?? Low EQ: Embraces zero etiquette—no “thank yous,” no “pleases,” and definitely no names. Why waste breath on pleasantries when your name is the only one that matters? Bulldozes through with their own rules because only their opinions count.

? High EQ: Uses simple courtesies like magic. “Thank you,” “please,” and a well-placed name aren’t just polite—they’re power moves in building genuine connection. Asks questions like, “What do you think, [Name]?” and “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.”

Number Three:

?? Low EQ: Always too busy. Never makes time for growth conversations—unless it’s about work or their own growth. Cancels meetings. Breaks promises. Because “busy” is the new sexy.

? High EQ: Shows up for their team. Schedules time to talk about aspirations, keeps promises, and builds trust through consistency. Understands that real connection happens between calendar appointments, not just during them.

Number Four:

?? Low EQ: Keeps praising the one favourite person on the team. The rest? Collateral damage. Constantly compares everyone to the golden child. If they don’t like it? Clearly, they’re weak.

? High EQ: Celebrates everyone’s strengths openly. Understands that diverse talents make a team stronger and lifts people up—without stepping on anyone’s toes. Keeps communication transparent while respecting confidentiality—because integrity matters.

Number Five:

?? Low EQ: Calls the team “family.” Especially when overtime and extra work is needed. “We’re all in this together,” until someone asks for a raise – then it’s all business.

? High EQ: Treats the team with respect, honouring their time and boundaries, while role-modelling it themselves . When they say “family,” it’s not manipulation – it’s mutual respect.

The best leaders aren’t perfect; they’re just committed to showing up better, one honest conversation at a time.

From Leading Teams to Closing Deals: The Real Influence Starts Within

So, now we know what EQ (or the tragic lack of it) looks like in leadership. But if you thought EQ was just for managing teams, think again. Because if leadership is about influencing people, sales is about influencing them to take action—and nothing influences people quite like Self-awareness – the mother of Emotional Intelligence.

This is not just about knowing your strengths and weaknesses (snooze..). It’s about spotting those sneaky blind spots that could sabotage a sale before it even begins.

After spending over a decade in sales organizations and another 12 years working with sales teams, and I’ve seen first-hand how a lack of self-awareness can stomp on deals harder than a poor pipeline ever could.

?Here’s how sales professionals with a lack of self-awareness might show up, along with practical moves that leaders can make to turn it around:

?1. Perspective: The Lens They Use to Size up Prospects

Example: Automatically prioritizing prospects who look successful or come with swanky brand names—assuming they’re the only high-value leads.

? Risk: Golden opportunities slip through the cracks because reps are too busy judging prospects through personal biases.

? Self-Aware Move: Challenge assumptions. The best prospects aren’t always the flashiest ones. Coach teams to dig deeper, ask better questions, and see beyond the surface.

??2. Thought Patterns: The Narratives Driving Their Approach

Example: The classic mindset: “Let’s get this done as fast as possible.”

? Risk: Speeding through the sales process—pushing products before fully understanding what the prospect actually needs. Shallow conversations lead to shallow deals.

? Self-Aware Move: Efficiency is about outcomes, not speed. Train reps to slow down, listen deeply, and build conversations that connect emotionally—not just factually.

?3. Emotional Triggers: The Feelings Guiding Their Behavior

Example: Taking every “No” as a personal rejection.

? Risk: Instead of moving on, they spiral—overanalyzing the loss, or worse, slipping into desperation mode with the next prospect.

? Self-Aware Move: Detach identity from the outcome. The best salespeople study the “No,” refine their approach, and move forward—without dragging their self-worth along for the ride.

?4. Habits: The Behaviors That Define Their Reputation

Example: “Clients matter. Everyone else? Meh.”

? Risk: Transactional over relational. They focus on closing deals but neglect building relationships with non-clients, peers, and strategic partners—making themselves forgettable and unreferrable.

? Self-Aware Move: Likeability is leverage. Train sales reps to build genuine connections across the board. When people like you, they remember you—and they recommend you.

Case in point? I work with massive sales teams but would only clients to the ones I trust & like. Sorry, not sorry.

?My point - Self-awareness is about knowing your blind spots before they cost you business.

?Because sales isn't just about closing deals—it's about being the person people can't wait to work with again. And trust me, likeability and trust beat desperation every time.

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So, What’s Your Move?

If you've cringed at any of these low EQ behaviours—good. That cringe is the call to step up, level up, and show up differently. Because these skills aren't just a nice-to-have—it’s the quiet superpower that transforms good into great, in both leaders and sales professionals.

But hey, don't just take my word for it. Let’s make it real.

If your team could use a sharp shot of EQ, I’d love to help.

Whether it's a keynote, a workshop, or a masterclass, I bring a mix of insight, sass, and actionable strategies that stick.

?? Slide into my DMs or connect with me directly to explore how we can inspire your teams not just to perform, but to reach their highest potential

This is Cindy Tien, EQ Maven, CSP ? - Empowering teams to Break through Blind Spots & Turn Hurdles into Hallmarks.

?? Strengthen Connections

?? Conquer Challenges

?? Claim Their Messages

??? 12yrs? ?? 80+ corporate clients? ?? 30k+ people

?Connect with me to explore a speaking engagement or masterclass for your teams:

?On Linkedin - www.dhirubhai.net/in/cindytien

Through my website - https://www.cindytien.com/

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