Be Curious!

If I were to ask you, do you know why you do what you do, would you know?

As a child growing up, what one question did you ask the most? I would hazard a guess that it was ‘Why?’

Children are naturally inquisitive and curious, they want to know and understand exactly how and why things work. Not taking things for granted, they ask a myriad of questions such as, why is the sky blue? Why do people die? Why do I have to go to school? Why do I need to go to bed? Why can’t I eat chocolate for breakfast? Why? Why? Why? But, whhhhhyyyyy?

As you get older you tend to question things less and less, taking things for granted more and more. You fall under the spell of confirmation bias,  becoming less curious and more accepting of the way you believe things to be in the world. You seek evidence to support your existing beliefs as opposed to evidence that proves you wrong. Perhaps you’ve even switched on the autopilot button to guide you safely through life.

If this is the case, you may be ‘existing’ not ‘living’. What is the difference? If you live, you are more likely to have a purpose and a plan. You Focus on WHY. If you exist, you do not. Like many people, I didn’t really focus on why I did anything. I existed like this until I was in my early 40s. I knew what needed to be done. I had my daily list of chores. I even had a bucket list spreadsheet but mostly I rolled with life day in, day out, not questioning why and drifting from one event to the next. 

I didn’t know my WHY. I didn’t ever really think about what I wanted in life or what legacy I might leave behind. It was only when I recognised that people were ‘living’ all over the world and I was only ‘existing’ that I had my lightbulb moment.

I simultaneously discovered the world of personal development and property investment and I threw myself head on into both areas. I realised that if I could achieve financial freedom through property this meant that I could pursue my passions in life, I could enable my husband to leave his work and together we could have more freedom and time in life. I suddenly had a clear focus on WHY and I set about how I would achieve this freedom and what it would take me to do so. Focusing on why, I finally took control of my life and moved from just ‘existing’ to ‘living’ with a definite purpose and a plan.

Do you know what your purpose is in life? If you are unsure, you are most likely rolling with life day in, day out, reacting to what’s happening around you as opposed to taking planned action. Curiosity is unlikely to feature highly on your agenda.

Who you are, what you do and what you have is all within your control. What you want to have determines who you become and what you do. What are you doing? Are you ‘living’ or ‘existing’?

Taking control and living a life with self-awareness and responsibility is something I am passionate about and I encourage you to embrace life with this approach. When I’m coaching one of the first questions I ask my clients is why they want to be, do and have the things they are talking about because everything comes down to the WHY. WHY is your foundation, your very raison d’être. Knowing your purpose allows you to live your days on this planet knowing why you do what you do.   

Focusing on WHY and taking responsibility for everything you do in life not only enables you, it empowers you to change anything you desire to forge a future of your own creation. Defining your purpose and then standing by your purpose at all costs will ensure that you meet your goals and stay on mission. Showing gratitude for life plays an important part in being able to live and not exist. 

Curious to understand more about all aspects of life and fascinated by people from all walks of life, I launched the Focus on WHY podcast in April 2020. Seeking answers to all my questions, each guest teaches me more about life. Being naturally curious helps me with my problem-solving and creativity. Ask yourself what will you be curious about today. Don’t stop asking questions because you fear you will be judged. People love answering questions and you will build better connections with them through doing so.

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” William Shakespeare

When you show humility, are inquisitive and ask questions, you acknowledge that you have the capacity to continue to learn and grow throughout life.

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod was one of the first books in the self-development realm that I encountered and it had a profound effect on me. As a result of reading it, I have taken myself on a journey through education, business development and financial literacy. I live not exist.

The words Carpe Diem, ‘seize the day’ spring to mind. As a coach, I work with a lot of clients in their late 30s, 40s and 50s. Some are returning to work or looking to start a new business working from home, some are looking to build a passive income, and there are others who are looking to pivot in their careers transferring their skills into another industry recognising that there must be more to life than their 9-5. This is essentially what I did. I call myself a midlife beginner and I am proud to do so.

Midlife beginnings are available to you too as long as you focus on your why and are willing to be curious. Get that curiosity flowing. Switch up your thinking. Instead of saying I can’t do something, think how can I…? The brain is then set a challenge to solve it.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them,” Albert Einstein.

Deciding to journal my property, business and life journey has been a cathartic experience, and has been a daily habit that allows me to look back on the successes and obstacles encountered on the way. It’s so easy for the memory to modify reality, however with the written journal, I can reflect on my experiences with ‘real time’ evidential practice. Actions speak louder than words, however I also have the words to evidence the actions I’ve taken!

What if I had not chosen to take control of my life once I was made aware of the concept of ‘living’ not ‘existing’? I would have continued to fall foul to my subconscious mind taking control of my life without a map to guide me anywhere. I would have continued to drift. The conscious and subconscious minds need to be in alignment to achieve your goals. The conscious mind is your goal setter and the subconscious mind is your goal getter. The subconscious mind works day and night for your conscious mind. It needs to know what it is you want to focus on and why! So be mindful of what tasks your conscious mind is setting the subconscious mind. The conscious mind commands, the subconscious mind obeys. Ensure that your conscious mind knows both what your purpose and plan are so the subconscious mind can get to work to achieve them.

Don’t underestimate what you need to do to create your life. The secret to overnight success in business can take many years of hard work! It has taken me time, patience, knowledge, successful habits, systemisation, enthusiasm, positivity and required action to be taken every day to build my businesses and achieve my goals. I started small, focusing on making small changes in my life knowing that if I focused on just one thing each day as a minimum that action would take me closer to achieving my goals. That is why knowing your purpose and having a plan are so crucial. Otherwise there is no map, no direction, no focus.

The way you live your life is as a result of your everyday choices, in fact every choice or decision you make determines the outcome. Aristotle says, “we are what we repeatedly do”. You have the power to change your life by changing your choices. Your choices shape your actions until they become habits, where practice makes them permanent. 

Goal-setting works and employing a coach can help you to change ‘existing’ to ‘living’. Coaching can help bring clarity to all areas of your life and enable you to make adjustments where necessary. Mentoring can show you the exact path to tread and help speed up the process. Over the last two years, setting up new businesses, I’ve had mentors and coaches to help me progress, and I have also mentored and coached others; those who are a few steps behind me on their journeys. So, the cycle continues. Again, always with a clear Focus on WHY!

The difference between those who make success, achieve their aim or purpose, and those who do not, lies in the fact that successful people are willing to do what unsuccessful people are not. They keep going because they have a plan and a purpose.

Do you have a purpose and a plan? Are you curious? Do you embrace learning? Do you hold positive beliefs? Are you self-aware and take responsibility? Are you carving out your own life in your own way? It’s never too late to be what you might have been. 

Be curious. Embrace learning. Live don’t exist.

Have a purpose. Have a plan. Focus on WHY!