Curiosity: The Ultimate Attribute

Some time ago someone I know asked me to pick one and only one attribute I would make absolutely sure to impart to my children to increase their chances of success in life.

I could pick only one.

My initial, confident response was independence. Surely someone who feels their success is dependent on something or someone else would lead a lifetime of disappointment and underachievement. It is the independent mind that creates something from nothing. It is that mind that doesn't assume just because you went to a certain school, or grew up in a certain neighborhood, or with a certain set of parents, or have a certain amount of money that you have a guarantee of success.

It is also an independent mind that is least likely to get taken advantage of.

After answering the question accordingly and justifying my response (which was well received by the way) for some reason I kept noodling on it. And I became unsure of my answer.

As a mentor I guide all of my mentees towards being in a constant state of curiosity. Curiosity is a versatile, practical skill that can be used to approach a myriad of situations or problems. It is an attribute that keeps one's mind open. It is a practice that keeps many a conversation from becoming unnecessarily confrontational because you move through that conversation with questions. You approach with an open mind as opposed to a closed position.

Always being curious is a talent that keeps joy and wonder in one's life because of all the "newness" one encounters in that mindset. There is no rut to fall into - there is only more to discover, learn and enjoy.

"I have no special gift. I am only passionately curious" - Albert Einstein

Many older, happy people credit "staying young at heart" as a secret to old age. In my opinion staying young means staying curious. My great grandmother, who lived well into her nineties, would always say "each and every day I learn something new."

A curious person would not take things at face value. They would probe. And this probing would lessen the possibility of being taken advantage of by someone else.

The good news is that curiosity is a skill that can be practiced. How? Here is the secret:

When you find yourself about to make any statement either out loud or to yourself - stop and turn it into a question. For example, before saying "This car/house/job/laptop/etc. is really good" instead ask yourself or someone around you: "What makes this car/house/job/laptop/etc. really good?". Then listen for answers or search for answers yourself. Pause and withhold judgement. Push yourself to find something new about whatever it is you are examining even if it's seemingly inconsequential.

By being mindful of your internal conversations and intentional about your judgments through questioning, you'll automatically start to notice things. You'll gain an appreciation that was invisible to you before. And that appreciation will likely lead to better decisions and deeper meaning. Do this with all you encounter in the world. Keep practicing. It's as simple as that.

My answer to the ultimate success attribute question is now: "Stay curious - be successful!"

"The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity." - Anatole France

What one success attribute would you pick?