Curate Kindness to Cultivate Compassion

“Neurologists suggest that each time you choose not to act on your anger, you’re rewiring your brain to become calmer and more compassionate.”

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Here in the United States, we finally crossed the finish line after a very divisive election season. No matter how you feel about the results, it is time to breathe a collective sigh of relief that it's over. Now it’s time to get to work and ask ourselves, “What’s next? How will I choose to move forward?”

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As an energy coach, I can’t help but wonder, “How do we shift our personal energy to a level more focused on reconciliation vs. conflict?” Because if there is one major takeaway from this election it is that America is deeply divided, and the divide is only growing as we highlight our differences in inflammatory terms, memes, viral social media posts.

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To expect one person, one elected figure, to either be the “fix” or the destroyer of the future - and the mood of an entire country - is unrealistic. Yes, that individual can (and does) tap into our lowest, most exhausting level of energy – victim-based fear and anger – but it is up to us, as individuals, how we choose to respond and react. How we choose to learn about our differences, and remember that, fundamentally, that’s what built America.

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So, how do we start this path of moving the energy? It is one person, one family, one group of friends, one group chat at a time. It starts with changing the perspective of you vs. me. That someone must lose for someone else to win. What if we changed the questions to, “How do WE win?” Or “How does a larger community or group interest improve, change and win?”

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This starts from the inside, and the way we talk to ourselves, and the influences we surround ourselves with on a daily basis. It's time to rethink our relationship with social media. How does it serve you and your outlook to be inundated every single day with anger in the form of cruel humor, rumors, and blame??

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In many ways, we are what we “eat.” Think about social media, television, podcasts, etc. like food – we consume it like food, and use it like fuel. The question is, fuel for what? To shift your mindset away from anger and towards one of care and collaboration, we must consider our fuel sources.

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One solution is to intentionally curate your “feeds” to create a more positive space. ?While for some people the quick answer is to abandon all social media, for most of us it's about lowering the volume, and the noise. Here are few tips I’ve personally used with great success:

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• Unfollow or mute negative accounts:?Remove accounts that make you feel bad or stressed out.?

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• Follow uplifting accounts:?Find accounts that inspire you, whether it be thought leaders, motivational speakers, or mental health advocates.?

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• Be mindful of your engagement:?Before posting or reacting to something, consider if it's necessary. And, think about how you would receive it.?

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• Like and comment on what you want to see more of:?Algorithms show you more of the content you engage with.?

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• Post with positive intentions:?Don’t air personal grievances or internal fights. Instead, this is a space to share good experiences, and to possibly help someone else.?

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• Embrace diversity:?Look for a variety of voices in the content you consume.?

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• Customize your settings:?Use features like muting keywords or adjusting notifications.?

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Finally, create a daily mantra that will be your touchstone, and reminder to be intentional. Like the name of my coaching company, I refer to mine as my “True North”:

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Be Brave. Be Kind. Be Curious. Breathe.

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